lightbranded: (Five shall return and one go alone)
Will Stanton ([personal profile] lightbranded) wrote in [community profile] paradisalogs2014-01-26 08:13 pm
Entry tags:

Open Log

 Who: Will Stanton and Anyone
Where: The Fifth Doctor's Room
What: Will failed in his attempt to drive the Mara away, and was trapped within a nightmare.  Now he needs someone to wake him up.
When: Shortly after the Mara's defeat

For days Will had lain on the floor of the Doctor's room, trapped within the nightmare the Mara had wrapped around his mind.  Occasionally he stirs, fighting against the darkness of his dreams.  But he never quite manages to wake.
toobravehearted: (oh no the frowny face)

A few hours later.

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-02 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
The Doctor is still rushed. Worried. It feels like he's been running around without stopping ever since he was back in control. Making his way to the third floor, he uses the journal to begin with to make a message to Will.

"Will? Will, are you there? Are you all right? Where are you?"

And it's his voice. His real voice, breathless a little, concerned a lot.
toobravehearted: (116 Here comes the mirror man)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-03 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
There's only one way he can answer that question and he's aware he can be disbelieved either way. Making himself calm is no easy task, but he has to.

"It's me, Will. The Mara is gone."

He pauses a moment before going on. "I know what it did." Does he ever. "Please, at least tell me that you're all right."
toobravehearted: (116 Here comes the mirror man)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-06 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
Hearing Will's voice is a relief, but it's short lived. The 'considering' speaks volumes. Stopping on the landing of the third floor, he wants to see Will badly. This is where he was coming, this is why he was so rushed.

"All right. Please, tell me where you are?"
toobravehearted: (Default)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-06 08:40 am (UTC)(link)
The last he was aware the Mara had left Will in his own room and the Doctor is glad Will is no longer there. He doesn't have far to go to Will's room at all however. Rolling the journal in his hand a moment, that's then put away as he knocks on Will's door and after a brief pause he enters the room.

"Will? I'm here."
toobravehearted: (134 Let's be serious)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-06 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Doctor watches Will closely, trying to ascertain how he is really doing, but he thinks he doesn't really need to look to know. With his responses that have felt clipped and guarded, the Doctor doesn't blame him one bit for them.

"Will. I'm so very sorry." He's exhausted and it should be obvious that he was injured at some point by now, but he has to make this right first, if he can at all. "Just me. You could sense it, couldn't you. Tell me what you sense now Will. Please."
toobravehearted: (116 Here comes the mirror man)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-08 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
Feeling the query from Will he slowly lets down a little of his mental guard for him. Will's words that it's gone are a relief in more ways than one. Of course in seeing Will's, and the Doctor knows it's gone, but to be told by someone that could feel the traces of the Mara, it's still a relief.

Closing the distance to Will, he kneels on one knee before him and his good hand goes to Will's shoulder.

"Why would you be sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for. I tried to stop it, Will." Gently he squeezed Will's shoulder and his voice next was quiet. "I couldn't."
toobravehearted: (art The darkness in time)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-09 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
At the things the Mara had done, what it had wanted to achieve, the Doctor had been there before. Bearing witness to what his own hands had done and fighting for his own mind to bring a stop to it. It wasn't him, but does the Doctor feel culpable, guilty? Yes. He would go to any lengths possible to stop what evil the Mara had wanted, and yet he had been stuck, hoping that someone would be able to stop it or that the castle would end what was happening in time. He'd been beginning to lose hope.

He hears Will's voice on that other level but doesn't respond in kind. Right now it's too much energy than he has reserves left for.

"You could have done that?" It's a hard realisation. Chances are, Will would have burned out more than just the Mara. "I'm so sorry. You had to make a choice, Will. There's nothing wrong with making a choice, no matter how unfair, and..." It was bad enough what the Mara had done already. Hurting more people, or God forbid, ending them in his form and name, it was everything he found abhorrent and stood against.

"You tried to save me and I owe you a debt of gratitude so great. But if I ever pose a threat, if I become a danger to those around me and whom I care about, if you can finish it Will, you must. These are the choices we must make." His words are careful but the implication is there; Will should have done it. It's a choice he's had to make before as a Time Lord.
toobravehearted: (134 Burning through time)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-12 12:50 pm (UTC)(link)
If Will had done what he was made to do... Well, the Doctor knows that he doesn't want to die. But he also knows he is powerful. The things his people can do compared to lesser species like the humans, a Time Lord that abuses those skills and gifts becomes... He becomes the Master.

If Will had stopped him, ended his existence, would he have come back in two weeks time? Would he regenerate instead? He doesn't know. He does know that if the Mara had gone too far - and it nearly did - if Will had ended him he still would have been saving him. Becoming something he was not he could not bare.

His hand squeezes on Will's shoulder, trying to reassure but not sure if he can. "I am so sorry. It is a hard and cruel lesson to learn. I've been there too. Questioning what gave... who gave me the right to make such a decision. You told me once that you could not make the choice to intervene, or rather to help, and--" He realises as he remembers the conversation. Trying in a round about way to tell the boy that he had free will, he could help others. It seems that Will exerted that free will after all.
toobravehearted: (art The darkness in time)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-17 12:45 pm (UTC)(link)
The Doctor thinks he has never seen Will look so young as he does right now. Just a lad, a child with a huge responsibility thrust upon him. Of course he sees the boy, and to see or hear Will truly acting his age is normally a gift indeed. But not now, not like this.

Still kneeling on the floor, his mouth is set in a line at the hug and Will's arms around his shoulders; as unexpected as it is, it's certainly not unwelcome. His good arm wraps around Will, returning that hug tight and putting as much reassurance as he can into it. Hopefully Will won't squeeze back too tight though.

"You didn't fail Will," he whispers into his ear. "You could have done what you learned you should do at any time. You made a choice instead, one I am of course very glad for, but certainly not at the expense of what the Mara did to you or what else it could have done. It might not have been the choice of an Old One, but something just as unique and powerful I dare think. You chose as yourself. As hard as that was and I'm sorry... That isn't failure, not truly. You're a good friend, Will. Thank you."
toobravehearted: (116 Here comes the mirror man)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-22 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
He is right and it could, although how far the castle would have let the Mara go might be up for debate. Certainly not before it had done more damage the Doctor thinks. How do you reassure someone for making a decision they believe was wrong when you also agree it was the wrong choice? When making the right choice would also cause so much misery?

"Do you know how old that choice is Will? Of course you do. To take a few lives for the sake of the many... The guilt of a few lives lost will always weigh just as heavy as if it were a million. It would be your duty to take the few." It is unfair and Will is too young for the burden.

His arm squeezes tighter for a moment around Will's shoulders before he lets go and draws gently back. Going from the kneeling position to sitting on the carpet, the movement is perhaps closer to falling than being fully intentional. "Would you sit a moment with me Will? Please? I'll ask a question, and tell you a story, if, if you're up to hearing it."
toobravehearted: (art The darkness in time)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-02-24 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
Nodding, he will start with the question first. "You can walk through time Will, be anywhere you want to be, at any point in history. Evil doesn't stay in one place. It's there at every point. If another person, fifty, or one-hundred years ago, more even, if they caused so much misery and pain, fear and anguish... And you were then told to go back and prevent that. Would you?"
toobravehearted: (Default)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-03-01 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
He nods again. "All right. No doubt you've spared many lives by doing that, but what of those that were brought together, united in a fight against evil, made stronger, lives intertwined and made for the better because they also stood to fight."

"All of that time Will, all of that changed, because just one person was stopped. Erasing evil doesn't change things just for the better. Everything that comes after it is also changed. Unities are lost. Great and beautiful things that could have happened, they are gone. People that in turn could have done so much more good in the world if the bad had been left to run its course."
toobravehearted: (art The darkness in time)

[personal profile] toobravehearted 2014-03-03 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
His hand goes to Will's shoulder. "If such a thing were permissible in my world, to change the past so drastically, the people would forget too." And it is permissible. Sometimes, when the Time Lords deem it so. "I've lost friends too because they forgot so much." Again because the Time Lords deemed it so.

"You've explained perfectly. I think it is I that hasn't. In my world the notions of the Light and the Dark I know of very well. But they are not the same as yours. I speak from my own perspective Will. I understand and figuratively step into your world as best I can. But what I've asked you I ask from experience."

And as he starts to speak again his own voice grows more tired. "A long time ago I was tasked with going to a point in time to stop the birth of a race so evil and so feared. They had lain waste to whole planets, killed billions and I would consider them to be my greatest enemy. They stand for everything I do not. And I was asked to commit genocide, to remove them from the face of Time." Asked is a rather loose term. Pushed into doing so by the High Council and his TARDIS taken away from him, they tried to leave him with little choice.

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