paradisalogs | [closed] i'll never let a love get so close

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[closed] i'll never let a love get so close

Who: Kate Beckett and Richard Castle
What: Castle wakes up
When: Friday
Where: Castle's room
Rating: PG-13

Even though Kate had her own room, she was spending most of her spare time in Castle's. She didn't know what to do for him, and while the assurances of some of the older castle residences that this was considered "normal" and should fade on its own helped a little, she still wasn't comfortable leaving him alone for too long.

She must have fallen asleep at some point, and for that hazy moment between being completely asleep and awake, everything felt normal. Kate sighed happily, fully expecting to open her eyes and find herself in their bed in Castle's loft, curled comfortably in his arms.

Unfortunately, Kate didn't even have to open her eyes for the truth to come crashing down on her. She could feel Castle's shirt against her cheek, rubbing roughly against her skin and she pressed her eyes shut tighter, clinging to that fleeting moment where she could pretend everything was the way it was supposed to be.

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Castle had gone home.

At least, he was pretty sure he had; it seemed too real, too long, too involved, to have been a dream. Things had happened, a lot of things, and yet, everything was still as it should be.

He'd gone to bed and woke up, feeling a warm presence against him. Murming sleepily, he turned over and opened one eye to look at Kate, not even fully waking as he ran his hands through her hair.

He then got a better look at where he was, which bed he was in, and his eyes snapped open.

"... Oh, crap."

Kate almost thought she was hallucinating when she felt his fingers brush through her hair, that maybe she willed the sensation into existence out of pure desire to have the man she loved awake and safe.

It wasn't until he spoke that her eyes flew open and she bolted straight up.

"Castle? Castle!" Kate lunged at him throwing her arms around him and burying her head into his neck. "Oh my God. Oh my God. I was so worried you would never wake up."

"Whoa!" Castle smiled and held Kate close, realizing as he did so how stiff he felt, as though he'd been in one position for too long.

"... How long was I asleep?" he wanted to know. "... Sorry. I'm still feeling a little disoriented. How the hell did we end up back in Paradisa?"

Edited 2014-03-21 23:57 (UTC)

Kate pressed her lips together, realizing that he probably thought that she remembered being here before. It didn't seem like a good time to bring it up, especially since she was distracted by being relieved he was awake.

Sitting back on the bed, Kate helped him slowly sit up. She couldn't keep her hands off of him, as if she was worried taking her hands off of him would make him drop back into slumber.

"About a week," she said, brushing her fingers across her cheeks. She didn't even know how to respond to his second question. "I was so afraid you wouldn't wake up."

Castle grunted softly as he sat up, shifting his shoulders and stretching. He then rubbed his back before turning to look at Kate, smiling.

"Well, could've been a lot worse," he said, leaning over to kiss the tip of her nose. "Sorry if I worried you. I don't get why I fell asleep and you disappeared, though..." He then paused. "Wait. What's the last thing you remember happening?"

"We were at your apartment. McCord had just left and I think we were going to bed..."

She took another breath and took his hands, realizing there would be no way to ease into it or hide it from him. "I arrived about a week ago. I don't... I don't remember being here before, Castle."

"Me, too." Castle let out a sigh of relief- it would have made this a lot more difficult if they came from different points in time. He then tilted his head at Kate, looking confused.

"... You don't?" he repeated. "But that doesn't make any sense! You and I got here at the same time last year, and... everything we went through..." He trailed off, then sighed, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. "I guess it doesn't matter, though. Not as long as we're still together."

Kate leaned back sightly, her eyes locked on his face. The conversation she'd had with Tess her first day was still fresh in her mind, along with the insecurity that had arisen from their discussion. Castle had been telling people about the "complications" of their relationship, and it made her heart ache to think that he had turned to someone like Tess. The woman had deliberately goaded her, played on her insecurities; Kate was smart enough to know that. But that didn't mean it hadn't worked.

"What... Exactly did we go through?" she asked, putting some distance between them for the first time since he had awoken. Her hand felt strangely cold without his in it.

"... A lot," Castle sighed, rubbing his face, then looked over at her, wondering why she'd pulled away. "Well, for one, the first time we were here, it was... from before we'd gotten together. And just like back home, it took something huge to get us together. In this case, it was being stuck on a spaceship that was on a crash-course toward a black hole."

"What... What?"

Well, that certainly put her nearly being thrown off a building to shame. Of course, Kate didn't really understand where the spaceship came from considering so far all she had experienced was being trapped in a castle; but her fiancé had also just woken up from a week-long coma with additional memories he apparently didn't have before, and one of his good friends was a demon who made thing float around rooms with her mind, so Kate decided not to split hairs when it came to logic for the time being.

"I guess that explains why it was 'complicated,'" she mused quietly. Things had been difficult for them, that year between her being shot and when they had finally slept together. Not that things between them had ever been easy, but as Castle has said before (or tried to say), perhaps that was what made it worth it.

She pressed her lips together and looked at him again. "You talked to people here about me. It was a little... surprising when I got here."

"... Yeah." Castle rubbed his face. "It was something, alright. Actually, now that I think about it, it was two spaceships- you were trapped on one and I was trapped on another, and a bunch of us had to rescue the ones on the other. Black hole and everything. Kinda hard to stay apart after that." He grinned, but then his face fell a little.

"... Why?" he wanted to know. "I mean... I don't see it as bad to talk about you."

The spaceship thing was still confusing the hell out of her and she knew that she would have to come back to that, but the look on Castle's face made her quickly realize he didn't understand why she was upset.

The last thing Kate wanted to do was admit that Tess got under her skin, especially since she didn't even know the woman and for the most part, Kate rarely cared about what other people thought. But it had caught her off-guard, and it did bother her.

"You told them things between us were complicated," she said, her brow wrinkling as she stared at him. "I've been here a week and someone already brought it up. People who have no idea what we've been through or how we got to where we are." And certainly no one who understood what she had gone through. Figuring things out with Castle was hard enough without other people judging their relationship from the outside, or judging Kate's intentions. "I didn't even know what to say to that."

"Well... it is the truth," Castle replied, shifting uncomfortably. "I mean, I didn't elaborate more than that, if that's what you're worried about. Not sure why somebody would think to bring that up with you right away, though."

He had to admit to himself that he wasn't quite sure where this conversation was headed, but he hoped it wasn't going to lead to a fight. That was the last thing he ever wanted to happen.

"Yeah, well, your buddy Tess is real congenial," Kate responded bitterly, leaning back a little bit. She didn't want to fight either, and they had worse things on their plate than whatever he had said about her to other people. It still stung a little, but Kate knew she'd get over it once she stopped reeling from the barrage of changes that occurred over the last week.

"Did you and the, er, previous me figure out what the hell is goin' on here or - better yet, a good way to get home?" She knew she needed to eventually bring up that Alexis was here, but it didn't seem right to broach it right away. Castle was going to be freaked out enough as it was and she didn't want that information to immediately follow her previous accusation.

Castle winced visibly and withdrew physically, looking ashamed.

"Well... uh... to be fair, I did have that conversation with her before finding out she's a really, really unpleasant person," he replied. "Probably doesn't make it any better, but there's that. Believe me, if I'd known..."

He trailed off. Surely Kate would accept that it was a mistake, right? Castle seemed to be one of the few people Tess hadn't been antagonistic with right off the bat- she'd been nearly nice to him, in fact.

"And... no." He sighed, resting his chin on one hand. "People have been here for years without figuring out a way out. Others come and go... not much about this place makes any logical sense."

Kate shrugged it off. Part of her was still seething but she didn't want to talk about it anymore, so she just shifted back on the bed and tried to make herself comfortable for the rest of their discussion.

"I'm getting that. Spaceships and magic castles and - I made a sandwich appear out of thin air." For anyone else, that kind of wonder would have been fascinating and exciting, but Kate didn't sound anything but annoyed.

She took a breath then though, her gaze resting on his. "A couple days after I got here, Alexis showed up too. She's fine, she's going to be so relieved you're awake."

Castle wished they could get to why it was bothering her so much, but if she was changing the subject... well. Better not to press it.

"That's the fun part, at least," he replied. "Some people prefer to avoid wishing for things- or work to help make up for it- but you never go hungry or want for any material needs. Can't wish up a way home, but it's still pretty handy."

Castle then practically leapt off the bed when she mentioned Alexis, instantly brightening.

"Seriously?! I mean... not that I'm... glad she's here or that any of us are stuck here, but..." Castle sat back down, but fidgeted a little.

Kate finally reached out, resting her hand on his forearm. "It's okay to be excited to see her again, babe," she assured him. She knew he wouldn't wish this on her, but Kate also knew how incomplete he was without his daughter. She was a part of him, and Kate didn't begrudge the relief she saw in his eyes.

"I'll, er, call her." Kate still wasn't sure what communicating through the journals was called and just hoped he'd get the picture. "As for the wishing, I'm still not sure how great I feel about eating magically appearing food." The idea didn't sit well with Kate in the least. She preferred to have a better idea of where her food came from.

Castle gave Kate a small smile in return.

"... Thanks for saying that. I always feel a little awkward wishing that people would come here with me, but... well. My life's not the same without two of the most important women in it."

He then nodded in agreement.

"I don't, either, honestly," he replied. "I have a part-time job tending bar so I feel like I'm earning my keep a little bit, since it's not exactly simple to get published here. Other people try to be as self-sufficient as humanly possible. I know of a guy who lets people grow vegetables on his property, and apparently there's some good hunting out in the woods. And we still exchange money, even if it's not necessary. Takes the edge off a little bit."

Kate was obviously relieved to not have to wish meals out of the castle, but that still didn't mean she felt great about anything that had to do with them being there.

If nothing else, having Alexis here would make Castle for secure and if Kate had to be honest, having Castle there made her feel safer. Even if she was currently miffed at him and even if they were cornered in a crappy situation, he was the man she was going to marry and nothing would change that, ever.

With a defeated sigh, Kate moved closer to him on the bed and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her head into the crook of his shoulder. "I slept next to you every night," she murmured, brushing a soft kiss against his neck. She had been so worried he wouldn't wake up, it had distracted her from digging into the castle as deeply as she needed to. Now that he was awake again, she had no doubt they could solve this mystery together. "We'll figure a way out of this, won't we?"

Castle kissed the top of Kate's head. The way she was moving closer to him, the way she'd said she'd slept next to him every night... he wondered if she was feeling vulnerable. He couldn't really blame her, considering the last thing both of them remembered happening... and how disoriented she must have felt, arriving here only to find him unwakeable.

"We will," he murmured into her hair. "Even if it takes a while... we will. I promise you that."

The truth was, Kate was in a more vulnerable position than she had been in a long time. She had just lost her job, her life at home was in sudden turmoil and her future unsure for the first time in a long time. Kate was a control freak, and she felt like she was spinning out of control.

But if Kate was lost at sea, Castle was her lighthouse. Kate Beckett didn't have a faith in a lot of things, but she did have faith in him.

"I better call Alexis," she said, pulling away even as she cupped his cheeks with her hands, brushing her thumbs across his cheeks. For the time being, she was going to ignore what Tess said about him settling in, and the comments she made about their relationship. She was trying to get under Kate's skin, and Kate had to remind herself not to doubt Castle. He'd always come through for her before and this would be no different. "And then we can come up with a game plan."

Castle grinned at her touch, then lifted one of Kate's hands and kissed her palm. She was brightening up, and that made him happy to see. And at least he had some experience with the castle and could help her through it, rather than flying blind like both of them had been the first time. Flying blind, and with their relationship a big question mark that look a lot of time to resolve itself. At least here, now, they knew where they stood with each other.

"I look forward to being in action again."

Kate leaned forward again and kissed him. She was starting to feel tremendously better and she knew that Alexis would be relieved as well. It was a start if nothing else.

"I love you, Rick," she said, brushing his cheek before she reached for her journal to call Alexis.

"Love you, too," he whispered back, then sat back and waited for his daughter, hoping their conversation would go just as well.

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[closed] i'll never let a love get so close

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