Wound up was one word for it. Her state and her position was bound up in her clothes. She couldn't separate them any more. Not that she was sure she ever could to start with. Fear, duty, desire, hate and love. Her humanity and her divinity. All parts of her that she could no longer rend apart.
Which was made that question so impossible to answer with just a few lines. "If you would like the legality of it. France is held out of pride, my sister lost our traditional hold of it due to foolish council on her husband's behalf. It has it's own king. Ireland is a conquered land that will never truly answer to me, lest I force it. So you see, England is the only one that really matters..." she sighed, taking a sip of her wine before continue. "... but as for why I gave my heart to England? In the truth of the matter beyond such things?"
She thought long on those words, setting her glass back down, running the tip of her finger across the edge of it. It was really hard to summarise it. "But in the laws it is perhaps the same understanding. In England, and in Europe, a woman simply ceases to be once she marries. She is her husband's property. She becomes one with him... so I have become one with my people. Nothing less then my heart would do. Nothing less then every drop of my noble blood would be fit for service, would keep me alive and keep me strong. Because my people have bled much for their kings of late, and they require something more then vain pride in return. So a wife serves, so I serve."
Elizabeth sighed, pausing in her musings, things she seldom spoke of, if only because she never asked. Looking back up at the other woman smiling grimly, "I give them my heart, because my people deserve it. Because it makes me glad to see them grow, to be strong again after so much death, so it makes me grow too. Selfish perhaps, but my people are my only care. My England, is the only Lord and Master I shall ever answer to." She tries to keep her voice flat, and calm, but it really is so much in her heart. Not some foolish young idealism. She'd become too much something she loathed for her country. Her soul was corrupt, as was her mind. But her duty was truly in her heart, it always had been. For both good and bad.
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Which was made that question so impossible to answer with just a few lines. "If you would like the legality of it. France is held out of pride, my sister lost our traditional hold of it due to foolish council on her husband's behalf. It has it's own king. Ireland is a conquered land that will never truly answer to me, lest I force it. So you see, England is the only one that really matters..." she sighed, taking a sip of her wine before continue. "... but as for why I gave my heart to England? In the truth of the matter beyond such things?"
She thought long on those words, setting her glass back down, running the tip of her finger across the edge of it. It was really hard to summarise it. "But in the laws it is perhaps the same understanding. In England, and in Europe, a woman simply ceases to be once she marries. She is her husband's property. She becomes one with him... so I have become one with my people. Nothing less then my heart would do. Nothing less then every drop of my noble blood would be fit for service, would keep me alive and keep me strong. Because my people have bled much for their kings of late, and they require something more then vain pride in return. So a wife serves, so I serve."
Elizabeth sighed, pausing in her musings, things she seldom spoke of, if only because she never asked. Looking back up at the other woman smiling grimly, "I give them my heart, because my people deserve it. Because it makes me glad to see them grow, to be strong again after so much death, so it makes me grow too. Selfish perhaps, but my people are my only care. My England, is the only Lord and Master I shall ever answer to." She tries to keep her voice flat, and calm, but it really is so much in her heart. Not some foolish young idealism. She'd become too much something she loathed for her country. Her soul was corrupt, as was her mind. But her duty was truly in her heart, it always had been. For both good and bad.