Is There Someone I Can Pay To Let Me Go

[wilder]

Who: Zelos Wilder & YOU
What: Take a guess, no really, take a wild guess
When: All throughout the nightmare plot
Where: Dreamland
Rating: PG-13 to R....I sure hope it doesn't get higher than that.

[Hi everyone how has your weekend of nightmares gone? Terribly? Great! Ready for more? No? Too bad.]

[If you're traveling around in the nightmares, you'll come across an area that seems like no one has turned on the lights - it's pitch black and you can't see past that]

[Overall the space gives off a cold feeling. Really cold, like it should be snowing in here. Sound is easy to pick up, in fact it's almost like someone turned up the volume way loud on the world. You can hear your own heartbeat, that small squeak of your sneakers, your own breath. If you have bad lungs? Well now you know. Cut out those cigarettes or inhaling chemicals already! You sound terrible!]

[There doesn't seem to be anyone else around. In fact you get the overwhelming sense that you are nothing short but purely alone and that's the way it always is. ]

[Though, that will probably change real soon now that there are spectators]

[OOC: Same deal as Allen's post a couple days ago. Nightmares will sorta be tailored based on people's desires level of trauma or aspect. You can find out what sort of stuff you can be in for here! Anyone's welcomed!]

Comments

[wilder]

[a long pause. not too long ago, he could get on board with that mentality. The urge to run, to drop your responsibilities and run as fast as you could away. He only did it for years. But it never made him happy, not like...]

...Running away doesn't always solve things, Tsuna.

[not_mafia]

[And Tsuna just falls silent. Hadn't he always known that? Running never helped.

But... if Paradisa was a true escape... If he could just take all his friends, and bring them there--

He quickly shuts the idea down. It'd never work. If he wanted to stay in Paradisa, he'd have to outright abandon his friends.

But what if that was better? Reborn would be sorely disappointed in him, but he'd find a candidate that was better suited to the job. And his friends and family-- they'd be safe, wouldn't they? His dad would still be involved with the mafia, a little, but he'd never do anything so rash as to put mom's life in danger. And his friends were loyal to him, not to the mafia.

He'd never be able to see any of them again. Ever.]

[wilder]

[Okay this kid has been silent for too long, time to check up on him]

Tsuna?

[not_mafia]

--Eh?

[wilder]

What is it? The thing you want to run from so badly.

[not_mafia]

[For awhile, he just looks back at Zelos, trying to decide what to say.

... he won't bore you with the details.]

I'm supposed to be the leader of a powerful and violent group of people.

[It sounded petty of him when he put it that way, but he doesn't try to justify it.]

[wilder]

You?

[a pause and he blurts out before he can stop himself]

But you're so tiny.

[not_mafia]

[That manages to get a small smile out of Tsuna.] Yeah.

There were other people who were eligible before me. Maybe... four others?

But... [They're dead now WHOOPS]

[wilder]

But now it's just you.

[not_mafia]

Yeah.

[wilder]

[There's a long pause, he gets up and pace a little. Shit shit, he's going to have to say something huh. He's still sorting stuff like this out, if the nightmare wasn't HORRIBLY apparent. He still was figuring out what it meant to be a good Chosen, what he was supposed to do. Still fighting that urge to run away]

[like how he wanted to run now from this conversation now. He takes a deep breath before speaking. Okay, maybe he didn't know how to be a good Chosen, but he knew people. He knew Tsuna. ]

Tsuna. I can get it's scary. Your life is now full of problems and you don't know if you're cut out for it. I don't know if you are either.

But I do know you'd never be happy if you ran for it. That's just not who you are.

[not_mafia]

[It wasn't the kind of response Tsuna was expecting. Silence, or dismissal. Zelos always skirted away from discussions like this. Just earlier, Tsuna had asked what a Chosen was, and Zelos had given the bare minimum answer. So when he starts pacing, Tsuna perks up and watches him.

Zelos? he's about to ask, but then the other speaks.

Afterwards, his eyes fall to the ground. Quietly:]

If it wouldn't make me happy, then why does it seem like the only thing I want?

[wilder]

Fear...has a funny way of doing that.

But I know you, Tsuna. You run off and...eventually, you'd just regret it. Maybe even start to hate yourself some for not sticking to it. Maybe you don't see it that way, but...that's the kind of person you are.

[not_mafia]

[He had a feeling Zelos was right. With every urge he had to run, it was compounded by a tremendous amount of guilt. He'd felt like he was running away just by being in Paradisa, and that wasn't even his own choice.

Maybe it was really time to stop trying to run away, even if just thinking about dealing with his position-- officially taking the role as leader of the Vongola family-- made his heart race.

He stared hard at the ground. No more running away. He would have to deal with everyone who threatened him and his friends. He would have acknowledge his place in the mafia. His place as...

A criminal. Because that's what the mafia was. A large, organized group of criminals.

He hasn't even noticed that his breath's gotten a little shaky, and his heart is pounding.

A criminal. A criminal. A criminal.]

[wilder]

[My god your heart is going crazy what is wrong with you]

...Tsuna? What is it?

[not_mafia]

[Nope, sorry, he's being completely unresponsive. Please leave a message at the tone.]

[wilder]

[Oh come on seriously? He'll shout to get his attention]

TSUNA! Snap out of it!

[not_mafia]

[Jesus, his heart actually skips a beat when he starts. He stares at Zelos for a moment, pupils still shrunken, before swallows and lifts a hand up, rubbing at his face.

Guiltily:]

Sorry.

[wilder]

[he rolls his eyes at the apology cause dude like he cares] Whatever.

What is it exactly that's got you all freaked out about leading that group, exactly?

[not_mafia]

... a lot of things.

[Sorry, Zelos, he'd rather not make his blood pressure spike again.]

[wilder]

[Sorry Tsuna he doesn't have your respect for personal space]

Like?

[not_mafia]

[His eyes slowly come off the ground and make contact with Zelos'. He wants to shut down, and not think about it anymore. Pretend he's not in that situation-- run away, again.

No-- he can't.

But he still finds the words caught in his throat. Afraid to speak of his fears, like if he did, they might just come true.

It's Tsuna who needs to take a deep breath to steady himself this time, when he finally speaks.]

It's... really dangerous. I've already had so many attempts on my life, and fought people who were incredibly strong. It seems for every win I had, I just barely managed it.

[His hands tighten on his jeans-- at some point he'd brought his knees up and curled into them-- as he continues to speak.]

And.. my friends are in danger as well. Every one of us have had a close call. A really close call. We're strong, I won't deny that. But... we're still kids. [He shakes his head.] I want to believe we'll be able to handle everything that's thrown at us, but.. that's just not realistic. [He narrows his eyes.] One of my friends, he... he nearly lost the use of both of his legs. We were incredibly lucky to have someone who could help him.

I don't think we'll be that lucky again.

[wilder]

Hm. [Ah. That. That was something Zelos would relate to. He really could. He's silent for a bit...before finally speaking]

My Mother died in an assassination attempt on my life. Did anyone ever tell you that?

[not_mafia]

[His eyes widen, and he snaps his head up, staring at Zelos in shock.]

Zelos...

[wilder]

Guess not. Still pretty used to it being common knowledge.

[At least, some of it. There were definitely parts of it not known to the rest of the world...and he was in no rush to tell those bits]

I was ten. I was playing in the gardens outside the kitchen here when someone tried to kill me with magic. My mother was caught in the crossfire.

That wasn't the only time either. Magic, poison, hired thugs...the yelling folks outside aren't the only way people show their displeasure about stuff. And no matter what you do? There's always someone unhappy. My sister and friends...well, they've been in danger a few times thanks to me, to say the least.

For a long time? I just...wanted to run away.