Is it worth it? The lengths he goes to are starting to stretch a little thin. Spike knew there was only so long he's get away with it; then events on the ship just sped things up. He stands, slowly, and offers his hand that he fully expects her to reject after she tore him apart.

"I cared enough to come back." Which may mean nothing, when he won't say where he came back from. At some point he's simply sabotaging himself by antagonizing the one woman who could lift him out of the fog, all for some perverse means of self-torture. But there's no telling half of the story, and he's spent years avoiding the questions it brings. So it must be worth it, right?

Apparently his thoughts are too convoluted to be fit for any kind of conversation on the topic. He's put her through enough. "I'll be around if you change your mind."