paradisalogs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

jennifer keller

(no subject)

Who: Jennifer Keller

forsometimenow and you.
What: Jennifer is being mopey after her encounter with the Bloater and is doing much navelgazing while her arm heals. Why not join her?
When: Any time from January 23rd onwards
Where: The Paradisa castle clinic
Rating: G, though depending on who shows up this may change.

Jennifer knew she should have been grateful she survived her encounter with- whatever that thing was, and gotten away with only a concussion and a broken arm for her troubles. But she still felt restless and uneasy, and since she was confined to bed for a few days thanks to said concussion, had plenty of time to think about it. Hearing through the grapevine that Maladict had left the castle hadn't helped her mood any; she'd lost several close friends in the past few months, and now one of the people who had been helping her train her body- and her confidence- the most was gone. It would be a while before the hurt from that loss lessened any.

I guess my efforts to become stronger were all a waste, Jennifer finally thought to herself one day as she lay in bed in the recovery area, looking around at all the other patients. It hadn't been much trouble for Simon to patch up her arm, which was now in a cast and a sling on her chest, so her injury wasn't bothering her too much- beyond the fact that she would be out of commission for a while. Marie was tending to her every need as best she could, so she was quite comfortable. Blue, ever faithful, didn't often stray far from the clinic entrance, even though he wasn't allowed inside. So Jennifer should have been happy for the opportunity to rest, but it was hard to enjoy it when her brain wouldn't stop moving.

I would have been dead meat if Joel and Tess hadn't decided to save me. That was pretty indisputable; she'd been on the verge of passing out and had been paralyzed with fear besides when they'd come for her. So why had they? Jennifer's first, admittedly very cynical, thought was that they only did it because they needed her as hale and hearty as possible- she had promised to never refuse either of them medical treatment. They knew her, both for better and for worse. They knew she was sincere, and they knew just as well that she was still a little scared of them and could turn that into pushing her into submission if need be. But maybe they also felt like they owed her- she HAD continued to treat Tess despite everything, had saved their friend's life, done her duty as a doctor when she had every reason to refuse. She took her oath seriously, after all, even if it was potentially a stupid move when it came to wild cards like Tess.

There were times when she even felt like she could be friends with them, but that idea kept coming and going. The three of them were very different people, from very different worlds, and had very different ways of looking at things.

What makes you think showing off your weaknesses will ever help you in the long run? Tess had asked her. That was one of the ways in which the two of them were fundamentally different- Jennifer had never felt the need to hide her deficiences and shortcomings, had always felt that acknowledging them was necessary for self-improvement, whereas for Tess, never showing them was a matter of survival in a lawless, hopeless, dangerous land.

Is it really that bad to think that way?

Well, look where it's gotten you. Nothing but a whole lot of trouble here, at least. If you were more committed to being stronger, maybe you wouldn't have needed someone to save you. Again.

Stop that. You're not Tess and never will be. You're two different people and have two very different roles in life. Stop it. Stop feeling ashamed of who you are.

Jennifer sighed and adjusted in the bed, accepting a cup of tea from Marie and blowing on it to cool it. She wished she could just banish these thoughts, the struggle she'd been having between acknowledging that she couldn't do everything, was perfectly fine just being a doctor, and wanting to be able to hold her own in a fight, too. Wanting to be content with who she was versus the creeping thoughts that maybe that wasn't acceptable. Wanting to feel tough and more confident with herself so she'd eventually stop feeling like she wasn't good enough.

Maybe she would have visitors soon- they'd help her feel better, she hoped.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

That sigh is what lets him know there's a conscious occupant. Duke pauses, head tilting toward the voice.

"... Need anything?" There had been a great deal of injured people - although Duke wasn't terribly sure how, but decided it was because a great deal of people didn't know how to deal with monsters.

Jennifer sees Duke nearby and shakes her head- before remembering that he can't see and speaking.

"I think I'll be fine, thank you- I'm just feeling a little restless, that's all. I had a concussion, so I'm confined to bed for a few days... and, well, I also broke my arm, so I'll be out of work for a while."

"That, I can help with. Unless you have something against healing that involves magic." He never knows, some people seem wary of that.

"Bones, they will not mend completely, depending on the severity, but at the least a month or two would be taken off of recovery time. Concussion... I avoid those." Brains are delicate, even if it is just a fancy bruise.

"I don't have anything against it, no..." Jennifer drifted off and was quiet while she considered the offer. Being back to work sooner would be great- she'd certainly feel a lot less useless, to be sure.

"... I can't blame you for not wanting to help with the latter, but..." She sat up straighter. "I have to ask. Would healing me harm you in any way?"

"... Why would it?" Duke is honestly confused by that. "I would need to... consecutively cast the spell some hundred times or more to reach exhaustion. It would be a moment of focus from me, and then perhaps half a minute, if not far less, to regain the energy used in healing you." It takes far less.

"The worst I would get from using magic is exhaustion, unless it was something offensive and then there are a variety of elements and potential hazards there."

"Just wanted to make sure," Jennifer replied in a friendly tone. "I come from a world where magic is either completely fictional or can be explained by technology, so... this is all still new to me. I'm kind of glad for it here, though."

"Ah." Duke is silent for a moment. "I could explain a little further, if you like. It is a short spell, one I know well, it would not distract me."

Jennifer sat up straighter in bed.

"... If you don't mind," she replied. "It's not that I doubt you, but... it's unfamiliar territory for me, too."

His eyebrow twitches up a little.

"The main reason I do not do anything with concussions is while it is a bruise, it is in a delicate location. I am not that skilled of a healer to be willing to deal with it." It takes him a moment, but he finds a stool and sits on it.

"As I understood it, the way my magic functions is that it provides your body with the materials and energies to heal itself faster than it would on your own. There is a small chance of growing resistant, but that would only happen if.. you got into a habit of breaking that arm." As he speaks, with no real outward sign of it, a faintly gold-glowing pattern forms under him. It honestly looks a great deal like a fancy math equation spiraled about just so. A few bands form rings about him, like they were on the surface of a sphere.

"There are downsides to healing more than what must be healed, which is, I think, a given. The area does not need repairs, and giving them some... it is foolish." Now he finally makes a movement, extending his hand a little like giving someone something. A cone of light forms over Jennifer - and a good amount of the rest of the room - and not only does her arm tingle for a moment, but any other minor bruising stops aching. She still has that concussion, though..

"There are lines in combat-setting healing spells to recognize such things, however."

Jennifer was quiet, wanting to let him speak- to concentrate while Duke did what he had to do- then let out a hard breath once he was done working his magic. She certainly felt better, and some of the more minor aches on her body were gone.

"Thank you," she told him, her voice filled with gratitude. "However mysterious magic is to me, I'm glad I can work with it here- that it can be used to help people. And I can understand not wanting to touch the brain. I've worked on them before, and it's... very delicate. Still an inexact science- we've only scratched the surface of what we know and understand about the mind in my time."

She settled back onto her pillows with a sigh of contentment.

"I won't make a habit of getting into trouble, either, I can promise you that," she added. "Usually I stay well out of the way when trouble happens... it found me this time, though."

"I cannot say for how other sorts function, but mine is mostly math. Someone who has made it their job to study healing would likely be able to fix the concussion for you, but I have not."

He tilts his head at that last, trying to place. "... The healer's duty to stay out of most of harm's way, so that they can heal others rather than become one who needs to be healed?"

River moved silently into the clinic and looked for Jennifer. When she heard a sigh, she tracked the sound, and found Jennifer laid up in bed, her arm in a sling. She kept close to the doorframe, but smiled at her friend.

"Badly hurt?"

"Blissey!" Marie greeted River and started bustling around to make another cup of tea for their guest.

"Hi, River," Jennifer smiled, sitting up straighter. "... Not as terribly as some others were, but my arm is broken and I have a concussion."

"That's fine," she replied. "That will heal a lot faster than my arm, anyway... it's not worth the risk."

She then nods in response.

"That's how I view it, yeah. I know sometimes healers can be fighters, too, but... I'm very much not. I learned some basic self-defense, but I'm never going to be a warrior. I know where my strengths lie."

River took the tea from Marie and thanked her with a smile. She then moved closer to Jennifer.

"Glad you're okay. Can rest now, I'll protect you."

Marie, looking very pleased with herself, plumped Jennifer's pillows and busied herself straightening the room now.

"I know you will," Jennifer told River, reaching over with her right arm to squeeze the girl's hand. "And your brother's been taking very good care of me. Hopefully I'll be well enough to help him soon..."

"Accurate." While he's reasonably sure in his ability with magic, he is also very aware he didn't spend as much time focusing on healing as he could have.

"Understandable - fighting both increases and decreases your chance of injury. A ranged-offensive healer is most familiar, when I think of such things."

"A- ranged what now?" Jennifer repeated, puzzled, then laughed nervously. "Sorry, that doesn't sound at all familiar to me."

"Ranged offensive..." Duke manages to give a vague look of 'why doesn't that sound familiar' in her direction. "In my world, that would mean a healer who either knows offensive magic as well, or can use a bow, rather than a healer who uses a close-combat weapon, like a sword or staff. Perhaps throw a spear if that was an option. Here?" He shrugs. "More options of ranged weapons."

River squeezed her hand in return, a crooked smile on her face.

"Simon's used to patching us up. Lots of...mishaps...on Serenity."

She nods.

"I've heard bits and pieces from him. The two of you have led a pretty interesting life, haven't you?"

"Oh!" Jennifer nods. "In my world, doctors and healers tend to stick to just that... we have other people to do the fighting for us. Then again, it's considered to be against the rules of warfare to attack a medic in combat situations, and most people tend to just leave us alone."

"Its nice when things follow those rules." Duke didn't. If the healer was on the field, they were a target.

"It is," Jennifer agreed quietly. "Of course, that doesn't stop people from trying every once in a while, either." Her mind began to drift a little as she thought of Kiryk- the Runner who'd abducted her in order to give medical attention to a child.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only