Open Log

[lightbranded]

 Who: Will Stanton and Anyone
Where: The Fifth Doctor's Room
What: Will failed in his attempt to drive the Mara away, and was trapped within a nightmare.  Now he needs someone to wake him up.
When: Shortly after the Mara's defeat

For days Will had lain on the floor of the Doctor's room, trapped within the nightmare the Mara had wrapped around his mind.  Occasionally he stirs, fighting against the darkness of his dreams.  But he never quite manages to wake.

Comments

[lightbranded]

Will listens to all of this quietly. He knew that the Doctor would not be telling him this if it was not important.

"A hard choice to make."

[toobravehearted]

He nods slowly. "Beyond measure."

"You and I are not so different, Will. I made a choice. I could carry out what was asked of me or instead condemn billions to a death that had already happened and to deaths still yet to come. No one person should have that right or power to choose something like that."

"Which choice do you think I made?"

[lightbranded]

"Did you do as you were asked?"

Will was having a hard time even contemplating the scope of that decision. Billions? Genocide? He knew that he could never be asked to do such a thing. The Light did not kill. But if there was a situation of similar importance, Will wondered what his answer would be.

[toobravehearted]

"They wanted me to avert their creation. The Time Lord said they had foreseen a time when all other lifeforms had been destroyed and this heinous race had become the dominant creature in the universe. What else could I do? What would be right?"

Turning his head to look at Will, there's the thinnest of smiles on his lips and it comes without the slightest trace of humour. He'd destroyed a room full of their young, halted Davros' plans for a while.

"I did. In the end, however, on my own terms. I only slowed them down, by a thousand years, just over. Do you understand why I took that course of action instead?"

[lightbranded]

He shakes his head.

"I don't think I can really understand it. Not without having been there myself. But... I think that if they were truly living creatures, they deserved a chance to make a better choice. Whether they chose that or not."

[toobravehearted]

He shakes his head. "That choice they had already made. In my relative present at the... time, they'd already caused the deaths of millions. They couldn't have changed if they had tried. It was in their make up. Or rather, it wasn't in their make up."

"I chose the way I did because I remembered that even out of evil there must come something good. Even now. Do you see? It's a lesson that's relatable I think, Will. Even when a choice made feels like the wrong one."

[lightbranded]

"I think I see."

He still wasn't sure if that helped much.

[toobravehearted]

"Do you? You didn't fail, Will. If you're a failure, then aren't I? I didn't see the choice I made as a failure. The choice you made, you made as you. Not what as you are."

He recalls Will's words from a few minutes ago. About knowing better, always thinking of the bigger picture, no matter how much he wanted to save lives. Not turning back.

"Perhaps we are birds of a feather, hmm?"

[lightbranded]

"Its beginning to seem like it."

Will offers the Doctor a tired smile.

"I think I see your point. But I don't know how much it will matter. Even if I made a decision as myself, that other part of me is also myself. I don't think I could separate the two. Or should."

[toobravehearted]

"No? You were just Will before you were an Old one. Each side of you compliments the other."

It's still something to think about. Not every choice is so stark in black or white. Sometimes there's a middle ground. The Doctor hopes Will can feel better if he finds his.

"How did you get out, Will? Of what the Mara did to you?"

[lightbranded]

"The other Doctor showed me the way out."

[toobravehearted]

"What?"

As tired as he feels that doesn't stop his surprise and his eyebrows from going up. It's on the tip of his tongue to ask which doctor, someone from the clinic perhaps, but no. He knows better. Given where the Mara had left Will and that he had said he was showed the way out...

"Dark hair, pinstripe suit. Talks a lot?"

[lightbranded]

"That's him. He was very kind."

[toobravehearted]

Mouth open to say something, the words catch instead and he has to pause.

"He is. That's all he wants to be."

His good hand goes to Will's shoulder again and makes a gentle squeeze. "I think it's time that I left you to get some rest. I'm very glad that you're all right and that it is over. If there's anything you need..."

All he has to do is ask.