"I can't be sure, but...," he trails off though, since even he doesn't know what he's talking about. Whatever he's missing, whatever pushed him to take things as far as he did, he can't mention to her. If there's one thing he can't stand being thrown in his face, it's this.

Not much of a story, is it? Spike resolves to finish it, regardless, even if he puts an abrupt spin on the ending.

"When I drank last night, it was the first time I've had anything affect me in months." Which should be enough to explain the extent of his loss, if not why his tone changed. "The only reason I came here is because I was too drunk to remember my room number."