paradisalogs | All the wondrous things a Thneed can be [OPEN]

Who: The Once-ler and YOU
What: Still under a loss and trying to sell his ~~echser tubesock~~ Thneed
When: Today
Where: The town!
Rating: It's the Once-ler. PG at most

[The Once-ler was certain all his friends concerns were unwarranted. Sure, he was suffering from some missing gaps in his memory and Ted was acting SUPER weird about everything, but he was sure it would all clear up soon and everything would be fine.

Because his life WAS going to be fine. That was one thing he was sure about. He was going to pick himself up and have the life he always wanted. He would sell his Thneed, become rich and beloved by all and his mother would finally be proud of him. He could imagine the smile and the 'good job, son' now. It was gonna be GREAT.

But first, he had to sell his Thneed. Thanks to Ino's suggestion of wishing up healthy tufts, as opposed to whole trees, he at least had a box full of the things, resting by his feet as he tuned his guitar in the middle of the town. Okay. He could do this. He could sell this thing. Eventually someone had to realise how amazing it was, right? Time to put on his best salesman patter]

Hello everyone! I know what you're thinking. What does this guy want with us today? Well, I'll tell you! I have the greatest invention you'll ever see in your life right here in this box.

I know, I know, you think you've heard that before, but this time it's utterly true! [He pulls one out of the box, holding it up to the largely not-very-enthralled-at-all-audience] THIS is a Thneed. It's a Fine-Something-That-Everyone-Needs, and it can be whatever you want it to be!

Don't believe me? Let me show you what I mean, with a quick twist, it can be a-

[Oh and now they're leaving. Why does everyone leaaaave?]

No! Wait! Seriously, you'll love this if you just give it a shot! It's like nothing you'll have everannnnnd you're all still walking away. Great.

[He sighs, moving to sit on the kerb, dumping the Thneed back in the box]

Man, I didn't even get to sing my jingle.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Blues is nearby when the crowd disperses and steps closer.]

If you really want to, you could still sing your song. I can't see it making anything worse.

[Unless your singing voice is that bad.]

Oh gee, thanks for that warming comment.

[He looks at the crowd vanishing away]

I don't think they want to hear the song, somehow.

Maybe you should open with the song next time? Then explain what ever it is your selling does.

Maybe you're right. It could really hook them into it. Get a real crowd gathering.

I'm not an expert salesman or anything. It just doesn't seem like something you should save for last.

Thanks, man. I'll give that a try next time.

Don't worry about it.

[There's a brief pause.]

So just how does this song go anyways? And what exactly does this "Thneed" do?

Let me show you!

[He'll start strumming his guitar]

♫ Everybody needs a Thneed
A fine thing that all people need
The Thneed is good, the Thneed is great
And it's just three ninety eight! ♫

[The lyrics could... use some work, but it's catchy he'll give it that. He even tapes his foot a little to the guitar work.]

Yeah, that's certainly something you should open up with. Play it just as you open up shop.

The rest of the song answers your second question. A Thneed can be anything you want it to be, y'see.

And wow, you really think so?

Well who doesn't love a good song? It's worth a shot.

Anything? That's impressive

I know right? It's an item everyone needs in their lives.

I suppose so.

[He looks over the Thneed. It certainly doesn't look like something he'd need. Maybe he could use it as a mop head or something.]

You suppose so? You should know so.

Well, I could always give it a try to see how works.

[SMILE]

It's $3.98.

[He looks at his lack of pockets... He's never had any need for money.]

I... Don't have it.

[The Once-ler can hear a voice in the back of his head (which sounds suspiciously like his mother)telling him he isn't a charity, and he won't get anywhere by giving things away. Still, he likes Blues, so, with a smile, he offers the Thneed over]

Call it a freebie.

[Blues pauses for a moment as it's offered to him. Then raises a hand to refuse.]

I wont take it for free, but I think I have a better idea, what if I whistle along with your little song there? A duet may attract more customers, and then it'll be payment for helping you out.