paradisalogs | [closed for refurbishment]

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[closed for refurbishment]

Who: Kat

dontpatr0nizeme
What: Random meeting
When: Tonight
Where: Third floor hallway, between rooms 302 and 322
Rating: R for language, F for Feels

"Dammit." Kat muttered to herself as the lock chirped it's access denied warning once again. Well, she'd asked York to make it tough for her, and he certainly did that. She knew, she knew she was capable of this, but the six months thinking she was a demi-god and swinging a sword around instead of hacking through code and tripping locks had made her rusty.

She sits back in the hallway and stares at it, taking a few moments break before another attempt, trying to shove the frustration down and pull at whatever memories she thinks might help. She can feel them just there, on the edge of her mind, but they were being tricky.

She was so involved in her own little world that she failed to notice anyone else nearby.

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Such as her new neighbor. Washington had been shocked to see the name on the next door, but he didn't mind it. He was watching for the moment as she worked on the door. "If you want a break, you're welcome to visit me in my room, Kat."

She starts, and looks over at him. She should have heard him walk up, should have noticed him breathing, but she'd let herself become too distracted by the task at hand. Part of her was grateful to have something to pull her away from dealing with everything else here, and as she moves to stand and glance from her lock to Washington, she's feeling the weight of her past settling again on her shoulders.

"That might be a good idea right about now." She'd been avoiding him, true, but mostly because she wasn't sure how to approach him. She had already devoted a lot of time in trying to sort out the history of their relationship, try to find some sense in it, but the puzzle pieces were many and complex, and she'd only fitted a few things together. Such as they'd hated each other, to start, and this had lasted some time before certain events -- some she knew and some she was still guessing at -- had turned the tides.

But where did that leave them now? With a six month gap and a jumbled timeline. She's holding herself stiff and professional now, so unsure about anything relating to the finer details of casual human interaction in this particular circumstance.

Washington nods, looking her over carefully. He knew she'd probably been too focused on that lock to notice much else anyway. "Come on. You can meet the menagerie. Picked up a few pets while you were gone. And I think we need to talk..."

He'd a lot that he wanted to discuss with her, but he still wasn't sure how to really start...

"We do." Not that she had any clue where to start, but she'll follow him into his room and hopefully he'll have some idea of where to take things from there.

"I didn't know you were a pet kind of a guy, or am I not remembering something right?"

Washington laughed at that. "Didn't think I was before. Castle decided to change that for me. Between the kitten and the world change that gave me the other one."

He opens the door, to be greeted by a blue and black bipedal doglike creature. "Riolu ri riolu."

Kat can only stare down at the Riolu. She wasn't really a pet person herself to begin with, and this thing almost reminded her too much of an alien, which was bringing up some nasty feelings.

"It's -- nice." She's trying to keep neutral, but there's the slightest hint of distaste in her tone that she's just not able to hide.

"He's a Pokemon. Cute, but he's a fighter." Washington is ignoring the disdain.

It's not long before the kitten, now almost full grown, starts rubbing against Wash's leg. "Hey cat. Come on, before you get stepped on."

Kat shifts carefully so she can look down at the cat without stepping on it. "You named it 'cat'?" She knew Washington wasn't the most creative guy around, but that was a new low even for him.

Washington actually laughed at that question. "Not the first person to question my creativity on naming it, Kat. But no, I didn't name it for what it is. Named it after you..."

That's just a sign how much he missed having her around.

She looks at him, falling quiet. She was glad she'd kept her helmet on this time, that it hid her expression. All these memories that were returning, and the feelings attached with them, and she was feeling the familiar stab of guilt.

"I don't know what to say." And she really didn't. Part of it was weird, that there was a little ... fuzzy ... thing, walking around with her name, but on the other hand she seemed to understand the implications on what it meant about her absence.

Washington frowns at that, realizing how awkward this was. "Can change the cat's name if it bothers you. It's young enough to learn..."

He scoops it up off the floor.

"No, it's -- it's not that." She reaches forward and gently pokes a finger at the cat, faintly remembering what it had been like when she was a cat, and trying to figure out how it was she had liked being petted.

"I let you down." Again. Even armored, now, she focuses on the cat instead of Washington.

Edited 2012-07-13 03:37 (UTC)

Washington shook his head. "You didn't let me down. It was the fucking castle. It took you away. I just missed having my friend here. It hurt losing you."

Even she can't argue against that logic, as much as she feels she should have been able to do something, even if it's as simple as just missing him as much. Instead, she'd had false memories and hadn't recognized him at all. Had to ask York about him, initially. Knowing now all that they'd been through, she wished she could say the same.

"At least I'm here now." Her tone lacks conviction, though. Would the castle let her stay? What else would it put them though?
"

Washington nods. "That's all any of us can do, Kat. We have no real control in this hellhole." He sighs. "Things have changed since you left, but I think some of it may have been for the better. It's easier to handle Carolina now."

Kat pulls her hand away from the kitten, suddenly feeling a little conscious with the mention of Carolina. She had more of her team here, she could trust Carolina to watch of York, Delta, and Wash, and she knew the other woman didn't like anyone moving in on her team. Kat suddenly felt that coming here had been a mistake.

"Glad to hear it. I should probably be on my way." She could always sleep in the hangar if she couldn't make it into her room yet.

Wash pauses at that, realizing he'd probably messed up by bringing up Carolina. He should have known it'd make her uncomfortable. "You don't have to go, Kat..."

"And I don't have to stay, either." It came out a little sharper then she'd intended, fueled by uncertainty with everything since she'd found herself back and been constantly accosted with memories.

"Things have changed, and I need to catch up. You've got your CO now, and I've got my team." I'll just be in the way.

Washington can't help flinching at that. This is worse than when they hated each other. "Just because I have my CO doesn't mean there isn't room for my friend."

She catches that flinch, and inwardly curses herself for not being able to deal with this. It had been so easy to fall back into habit with Six and Jorge, that ingrained, instinctual Spartan training helping her cope with everything else.

This, though, dealing with Washington, the emotional and civilian nature of it ... It had been difficult beforehand, and now it seemed insurmountable. She wanted to know what to say, to reassure him, but the words came out all wrong. "I'm still trying to remember how to be that."

Washington looks down at the floor, not really sure what to think. "Fine. Go. Let me know when you want to try again. If you ever do."

"Of course I do." Her tone is soft, but genuine. She may not know what to do but she knows he's worth the effort. If he hadn't been, she wouldn't be here, trying to fight through the strange nature of their friendship and all the bullshit the castle had thrown at them over the course of their stay.

She turns to leave, but hesitates. She doesn't want to go, to leave him again after the castle had taken her away for so long, but she's obviously not making anything better right now. "You deserve the friend I used to be. I want to give you that."

Washington started at that. He knew she wasn't terribly good with emotional stuff before. But this... "Are you sure, Kat?"

He sighed. "Eventually then?"

"I am." It stings that he has to ask, and for a moment she doesn't add anything else. He had Carolina now, why would he need her? With how poorly things were going right now, she takes his question as a subtle hint to back off.

But then he sighs, and she's not sure what to say at all. She interprets his words as mixed signals and for the moment not knowing what he wants or what she should do. "Evntually, yes." She sounds even less sure, now. Dammit, castle, things had been fine before you fucked it all up. She didn't know how to handle this sort of shit.

Washington shakes his head. "The castle doesn't make things easy on us. And I don't want to push it on you if you'd rather break ties. You've 2 of your team now. And I'm no Spartan."

"You're still an ally." It's out before she really thinks about it, but it feels right to say, and there's a bit more conviction in it. "And -- a friend. I guess I just have to get to know you again. If you want."

Washington pauses, deep in thought. "I really do want that, Kat. You don't know how much I missed you when you left."

"No, I don't." She wishes she did. She wishes, of course, that she hadn't been gone at all, but nothing could reverse that. She was hesitating, still poised to leave. Part of her felt it would be appropriate to grasp his shoulder, in that subtly affectionate way between Spartans, but the greater part of her just wasn't ready for that kind of contact yet. The breaking of walls would have to wait another day. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

Washington sighs. He really does wish they were better with words. "I guess so. See you tomorrow."

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[closed for refurbishment]

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