Jennifer sat, hugging her knees to her chest and feeling angry, bitter tears stinging her eyes. Some part of her knew that he was right- that she was never and never could be perfect, no matter how much she tried to and wished she could be. That even before coming to Atlantis, sometimes there truly was nothing she could do, that she had lost patients before, and it had never bothered her as much as this.
But there was still something nagging at her. Something missing. And she was sure that it had to do with Rodney.
"I still feel like I should have known," she mumbled. "Like... like it was staring me in the face, and for some reason, I just missed what was happening. I had no real excuse NOT to see it. But that's where one of the holes in my memory is, too. Like there's a reason I didn't realize what was going on, beyond a simple mistake or misdiagnosis. I don't even know how to begin finding out, though."
She wiped her eyes.
"I don't want to keep dwelling on that, but it's made me feel unfit to help anybody here. Much less work on something vitally important like this. It's made me doubt my own competence."
no subject
But there was still something nagging at her. Something missing. And she was sure that it had to do with Rodney.
"I still feel like I should have known," she mumbled. "Like... like it was staring me in the face, and for some reason, I just missed what was happening. I had no real excuse NOT to see it. But that's where one of the holes in my memory is, too. Like there's a reason I didn't realize what was going on, beyond a simple mistake or misdiagnosis. I don't even know how to begin finding out, though."
She wiped her eyes.
"I don't want to keep dwelling on that, but it's made me feel unfit to help anybody here. Much less work on something vitally important like this. It's made me doubt my own competence."