After saying that, he let out something that sounded like a scoff, except far more bitter. "Because I feel like complete fucking shit." He stood up, because fuck sitting down. He had to move. He had nowhere to go, but he had to move. He couldn't just sit there feeling sorry for himself. At least if he was moving, she couldn't see him shaking. And he was, because this was too much. Too fucking much. He started pacing, trying to figure out what to say.

Now that he'd said that, the bitterness was starting to come back. Hurt bitterness- probably the worst kind, because it lead to saying things you wouldn't normally say, which Jane was the primary example of. At least for the moment. "It's so fuckin' good to hear that you're happy for me, though. Happy that I, against all odds, managed to win the guy of my dreams when I was clearly the inferior choice between the two of us."

He shook his head. "I lucked out those five months. Those five months in which I was apparently alienating you and making you hate me when all I was trying to do was fucking be happy." Dirk couldn't deny his selfishness there. But he couldn't help it either, not when Jake was... literally his only option, though he didn't think of it quite like that. He really liked Jake, and... god, he wanted him so damn bad. "But it doesn't matter. I've lost him before I even fucking had him, because even there I fucked it up."

His back was to her, his fists were clenched. "You should go for it now, then. We all know in the end you're the better option, so have at him. I'm not competition anymore- how I ever was in the first place is fucking beyond me."