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john egbert

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Who: John and whoever
What: John's birthday party!
When: Backdated to the 13th
Where: The dinning room
Rating: Low?

John hadn't really planned out a big party for himself. In fact it was pretty safe to say minus a couple times in recent years where other people had tossed parties for him together he generally was all about the small events like watching movies or playing video games with friends or family while doing his best to ignore the cakes people baked for him. That's probably why earlier that day John had blocked off the far end of the dinning room for himself and just wished up a series of decorations from the castle. Nothing big, just some balloons and streamers to make it look more partyish. A couple of bowls of punch and snack foods for anyone that might want to stop by, as well as an assortment of party hats for people to put on.

For whatever reason John seemed to have "forgotten" to wish up a birthday cake for himself.

When all of that was taken care of John parked himself at the end of the table and waited for people to get his party invitations. No he just had to hope this wasn't too last minute for people.

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John's not the only one with a birthday today, you know - but why make a big deal when you can make people happy instead? Soon after she gets the invitation, Jane comes into the dining room, a wrapped present in her arms and a big smile on her face. Thank goodness Jade told her it was John's birthday in advance!

"Hey there! Happy Birthday!"

Well hey now, there's no reason this one man birthday jam can't be altered for another lady. The nice thing about balloons and streamers is they're not banners that denote who the party is for in the first place! As long as Jane doesn't mind how cakeless John has allowed this party to be.

He jumps up when he sees her and makes his way over to her. "Thanks, Jane!"

Oh, dear, that will have to be remedied. Don't let her know how cakeless you intend it to be, John, or she might insist on one! And you're very kind, to share your special day. Very kind indeed.

"You're very welcome!" She hands the present over with a flourish. "Jade didn't tell me how old you'd be, so how old are you today?"

Oh he'll be sure not to mention that to anyone. The less he brings up the existence of cake the less likely it is that anyone is going to question why there isn't want here.

He reaches out to take that gift from her, just barely resisting the urge to rattle the box. "I guess I am sixteen now? It's kind of hard to say. Time gets sort of messed up here between home and everything at the castle so I might just be fifteen."

"Wouldn't it be something if you really were sixteen?" Jane says, "Hoo hoo! We could both be sixteen together!"

You go ahead and rattle that box, John. She wouldn't be as underhanded as to prank your actual gift.

He looks surprised at that comment. "Are you sixteen? Man, that really would be pretty crazy! Especially because thanks to the stupid castle I still look like I am fourteen."

And maybe later, right now he's putting the present down on the table. Does he open it now or wait until later?

He can open it whenever he wants! It's his party.

"Well, I'll always look as if I am fifteen at this rate," Says Jane, "But fourteen or fifteen isn't a bad age to appear for an extended period of time, so long as folks know how old you actually are." She shrugs. "At least I think so."

And he'll cry if he wants to! Or you know, just open presents whenever he wants to. That sounds like the more reasonable thing to do.

Shaking his head at that though, he completely disagrees. "Ugh, no way I would much rather be stuck at twenty or something when you aren't still growing. It really sucked when I was fifteen for awhile but looked like I was thirteen still."

There's definitely no reason to cry, anyway! This is a happy day.

"Well it's different for boys, isn't it?" Jane asks. "Boys keep growing for ages and ages! When you're a girl, it's slowed down enough by now to not be so obvious." She can't imagine you being grown up, though. No way in a million years. "But I do see your point! It's no fun to be thirteen forever."

He has to think on that one for a second. Was it really that different? Sure girls definitely matured faster than boys did, but John was pretty sure Jade was still growing when they were on the ship together.

"I don't know if it is really that different. But either way you get what I am saying! Being twenty something and stuck as a thirteen year old would blow."

"Hoo, yes, I understand!" She nods again for good measure, and then her eyes sweep across the decorations and the table...and she frowns.

Uh-oh. Looks like somebody noticed something wrong with your spread.

"Um, John?" She points to the table. "I think you're missing something. Where's your birthday cake?"

It does not take long for Dave to get there once the invites are out. Well, there's a minor delay, only because he's wishing something up that Egbert is guaranteed to have mixed feelings for.

When he makes it there, he unceremoniously places a cake in front of John. With his name on it and everything!

"Why am I here again?" He asks in the most frustratingly obtuse tone. As if he didn't wish up a goddamn ugly birthday cake knowing John hates cake and come all the way down here with the express purpose of bothering him with it.

Mixed feelings is right! On the one hand that has to be the coolest cake John has ever laid eyes on, but on the other hand it is a cake in the first place. Thanks to the castle and it's stupid forced cake eating loss it gave him he hasn't really had much of a chance to get over his cake hate as much as he might like, but... it has been a long time since it was really shoved down his throat too.

He stares down at the cake trying to decide if he wants to smile or cringe, instead of saying anything about it at all he decides the best thing to do is focus his attention on Dave.

"You are here because you wouldn't be Dave if you were passing up the chance to party!"

Well hey, John! You aren't the only one at this party, right? If you can part with the eye candy maybe you can feed him to your guests. What better way to celebrate the birth of John than consuming a small part of Nic Cage's face. Dave doesn't want to know any other way.

"For sure." He nods along, tapping his hand on the table thoughtfully. "It's kind of quiet for a party though, don't you think?" He looks around before looking back down at John. "Is it possible to wish up a mariachi band?"

No way, no one is allowed to touch that part of the cake! It is sacred and will be kept forever. Or until the cake goes back and has to be tossed out. So really people are only going to be allowed to eat the tiny bit of cake that has his name and happy birthday written on it. Hopefully they didn't want much cake.

It's true, John didn't think to get music for the party, but... rolling his eyes at Dave's suggestion. "Despite the fact that you can't wish up people and that has always been a thing? Sure! Can't see any reason why not, go for it, bro."

John, if Dave even knew how much you intend on coveting that cake he would be fucking thrilled. It's good when you can make a bro happy whilst also finding them to be hilarious as hell. What a prime dork.

"That's a stupid rule." He answers in a blunt manner, thinking on it for a second. "What about a robot mariachi band?" Wait, no. Dave can do one better than that. "What about- I wish for a robotic singing fish." And there it is. The most majestic fish you ever did see! Dave is going to turn it on and place it in front of John.

One thing Dave will always be able to count on, John being a massive dork. No matter how many years pass by he is not going to change his nerdy ways. Cage is always going to be a hero, even if one day John will realize his movies aren't meant to be taken as seriously as he usually does.

As for Dave's fish? Well... John is going to stare down at it blankly. Well... that sure is something. He's reaching down to pick it up, ignoring as it starts belting out a song and waving it's little fishy tail around.

"Yeah... okay, we will just put that on the wall over there." In the corner, out of the way where hopefully no one will walk by and make it start singing if it's motion activated.

That is the most profound and comforting thing Dave will ever discover. Particularly after time spent feeling gravely detached from his broskis and being surrounded by people constantly changing like assholes. John is his rock, his bro-rock. No creep intended.

Dave is going to stare in an equally blank manner, only at John instead of the fish. It's so hard not to laugh, why the hell does he find this so funny? Probably because John doesn't, really.

"If we get two more we can have a mariachi band." He observes as he moves the amazing and talented fish to the side. "How old are you now anyway?"

Well that's not to say that John hasn't gone through some changes of the year himself! His dorkiness is just not part of the change. His dorkiness is at his core and will never be separated from him. It is the essence of John.

"I think we are pretty good with just one, thanks!" Said quickly to discourage Dave from wishing up any more fish. He's moving over to try to hang it up and out of the way now, but stops to think on Dave's question. "I'm not sure, actually. I guess either fifteen or sixteen? Time works kind of weird here, plus all the time I spent back home so..."

"John!"

Jade is running a little late - literally, out of breath despite the fact that she can fly and teleport, probably just because some old habits are really hard to break. She's smiling, though, a small package wrapped in crisp blue paper tucked under one arm.

She immediately goes for the party hats.

"Hehe. Hi."

It is a lot more fun to run to a party than it is to just teleport yourself in anyway. Sure, that is a lot flashier but the classics couldn't be forgotten. He stands up to greet Jade with a big smile of his own.

"Hi, Jade! I am glad you could make it! It doesn't feel like my birthday would be right without you here."

"I've gotten sort of used to being around for your birthday, you know."

She's smiling, though, moving to shift the box from beneath her arm.

"For you. It's not much, considering we're in a magical, wish-granting castle..."

It's becoming a birthday tradition that John doesn't really want to break. He perks up when she moves the box though and reaches out to take it from her.

"It's cool! The surprise of presents is a big part of the fun."

It's not much-- really. A hand-stitched doll that looks an awful lot like Liv Tyler, or whatever the bunny's name was that week.

"No cake, huh?"

The bunny's name will always and forever be Liv Tyler. Anything Jake says is wrong, because Liv is the perfect name for that darling little rabbit.

He fiddles with a corner of the wrapping paper, but doesn't open it yet. Instead he's looking over at the table with a huge grin at the cakeless table. "Nope! Not a single one. Hey, can I open this now?"

Even before she got the party invitation, Rose was all set to give John a celebratory visit. An actual birthday party is just a bonus, especially with all of the negativity going around the castle at the moment. So as soon as the invitation arrives, she grabs her neatly packaged present, changes into something less traffic-cone-orange, and heads on down to the dining room.

As soon as she sees John, she smiles brightly and walks over to greet him.

"Happy birthday, John."

That is a true friend right there. Someone that will make birthday plans for you even before you have your own birthday plans actually sorted out. And John definitely didn't have his own birthday plans sorted out before today.

He is up and jogging towards her the moment he sees her, a big smile on his face.

"Hi, Rose! Thanks!"

Rose smiles back at him, but then steps forward to wrap her arms around his neck in a tight hug. Consider yourself special, John - she wouldn't give just anybody a big ole birthday hug in the middle of the dining room. It even lasts a whole ten seconds before she steps away and hands him the present still clutched in one hand.

"I'm afraid that my new loss made brainstorming for a gift a bit difficult, but I suppose that you already have enough knitted goods from me. Hopefully this is up to par." Said with her usual dry smile, of course. Not that she's being sarcastic. She did have quite a bit of trouble thinking of something to give him, and what she finally settled on has more sentiment than actual quality. But he'll hopefully get the meaning immediately.

He does feel pretty special. He knows Rose isn't the kind of girl to just go around handing out hugs left and right, even on special occasions such at this one! He will make sure to brag to anyone that will listen to him later about this hug.

And he grins when she hands him the present. Something not knitted? Well that didn't narrow it down a lot, since most things in this world weren't knitted, but it did let him know what not to expect at least. "I bet it is awesome still though, especially if you spent time brainstorming over it."

He holds it up to his ear and shakes it gently.

Surely anyone who hears him bragging will be simply green with envy.

"Hours, perhaps even days, of arduous thought went into this present! I would not even begin to joke about something such as this!" But from her face, it's clear that that isn't quite true.

What he might hear inside the box is a mixture of soft, and papery. Because her gift may or may not consist of one (1) handsewn twin of Liv Tyler the bunny, one (1) heartfelt letter in glitter ink, and several (???) photographs of a large array of baked goods - with the notable absence of cake or anything in the direct cake family.

He has no doubt that will be the case!

Truly she is a magnificent friend for a gift of this nature. He really will love the heck out of that bunny, and the letter, and even the baked good photographs will give him a good chuckle, even if he'll probably also give her a hard time for it.

Lets find out though, shall we? John is tearing the paper off the box now without even making sure she's cool with him opening the present early. "I bet you really put all of your sweat and tears into this, and then maybe some other people's tears too just for good measure."

Rose watches him with a smile as he opens the paper, and takes the discarded pieces to throw away later.

"Oh, certainly! There was a catastrophic tear shortage for ages. Dehydration is still running rampant."

John shakes his head and sighs dramatically. "Well I guess there goes any ideas I had to watch a sad movie for my birthday finale tonight. There's no point if no one is able to-- Oh woah! Is that Liv?"

He cuts himself off mid-sentence as he pulls the bunny out of the box and holds her up triumphantly.

"Guilty as charged." She laughs at his enthusiastic reaction. "Seeing as how I can no longer knit, I thought I might attempt another craft for once."

He grins and puts the little bunny down on the table. "You did an awesome job, she looks great!"

"Thank you." She gestures vaguely to the box. "There's more in there, though I'm afraid it's not much, and a bit sappy at that."

"What? Really?" He puts the box down on the table and digs into it, coming up with the pictures first and snorting at the as he spreads them out around the table, then coming up with the letter that he unfolds to read. Most people read their birthday cards first, but in John's defense it was the last thing he came across.

Rose watches patiently (and a bit awkwardly) as he reads the letter. Seeing as how the mun attempted to write the letter out and wound up getting far too emotional, the basic summary is something along the lines of "I have cherished every hour of our time together here ... yadda yadda... Wherever we might be I hope that we can celebrate your next birthday together as well ... blah blah blah ... best friend ... et cetera et cetera... Much Love, Rose."

You can tell whenever John reaches a new emotion packed sentence in the letter because his grin gets even goofier with each moment. By the end of it he looks all but ready to tear up from sentiment here. If there's one thing better than gifts, it's the cheesy letters he and his friends like to write each other for their birthdays. There is pretty much never going to be a time when these things don't him feel like he's about to burst open with friendship feelings.

"Thank you, Rose."

She rises up on her toes, places a hand on his shoulder, and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"You're welcome, John. Happy birthday."

Last-minute? You underestimate Aradia's power. She shows up as soon as she's available, grinning like a creeper. (Which is, uh... mainly because her face is literally stuck like that. But also because she is happy to see him!)

"Hi, John! Happy wriggling day!" she exclaims, landing in the doorway.

He's gonna grin back at her, even if that grin is kind of unnerving? He almost wonders if she's got something weird planned for his party with a smile like that on her face. He's still getting up and walking over towards her to greet her, unnerving grin or not!

"Hi Aradia! Thanks! And thanks for showing up for the party!"

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THIS TAG MADE ME TEARY

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