paradisalogs | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Grandson and grandpa [or Tsuna and Giotto]
What: Tsuna recovering from EH. Family bonding time. Cuddles.
When: This morning
Where: Giotto's room
Rating: PG-13? (if tsuna flashbacks or something idk)

[Tsuna slept like the dead since he fell asleep in Giotto's arms. He was absolutely exhausted from the trip and had missed out on quite a bit of sleep due to anxiety, worry and grief. His sleep had been dreamless, and maybe blessedly so, because if he had dreams they would almost certainly have been nightmares.

When morning finally comes, his eyes flutter open, before fear suddenly floods in and he scrambles to a sitting position, jumping when Giotto's startled cat jumps off the bed. He looks at Gatta, and then he scans the room as his mind scrambles to think of what had happened last.

He remembers... the ship crashing. Him stumbling out and seeing Paradisa. Giotto finally came to him-- he was in the flesh, not a hallucination-- before Tsuna had fallen asleep in his arms.

That.... had actually happened, right?

Or was that a dream?

This looks like Giotto's room, and yet, he's spooked and uncertain if it really is. What if that had been a dream, what if his hallucinations had just gotten worse? Where was everybody, where was Reborn?

When his eyes land on Giotto, his expression remains guarded. Was he truly, honestly the real thing? Or was he a hallucination, and was he going to try and twist his position as the next Vongola boss, and tell him he should protect Reborn and Martel, protect Allen and Ino, those who were now his family, and get rid of everyone else...?

If Reborn or Martel or anyone he knew was there with him was nearby, he couldn't see or hear them. They couldn't validate if Giotto was the real thing, or if this place was the real thing.

His heart is racing.]

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[Giotto looks up from where he's sitting when he hears the bed creak and Gatta getting up. He meets Tsuna's eyes and sees that guarded expression, his Intuition telling him that Tsuna was tense, upset, expecting...something. And from what he's been reading in the journal, it was probably a hallucination. ...Did he think Giotto was a hallucination?]

...Bambino?

[He gets up, cautiously approaching him.]

[The nickname is a good start. The hallucination had only called him 'Decimo' or 'Tsuna' at best. It hadn't tried to approach him, either, and when he moved toward it it moved away.

But he's still not completely sure. His eyes are full of wariness as Giotto starts coming forward. He raises his hand, reaching out to him, when he suddenly flinches back a little.

What if it was a hallucination and it touched him? Would he go even more mad? Would it somehow attack him? No, hallucinations can't attack, they can't be felt, that's silly. But this is Paradisa, and anything can happen.]

[Giotto stops at that, hesitant to even approach now that Tsuna flinched back from him. He tries not to let the hurt at Tsuna flinching back show, or his rising hatred at himself for letting this happen. For being the thing that Tsuna hallucinated, possibly telling him awful things, because that's the only reason for this fear.

He instead picks up Gatta, who had come up to rub his leg, looking to be petted, and gently petted her head while she purred. It was calming, in a way, and let Tsuna have some time to calm down himself.

If he still though this was all an illusion, well...he'd deal with that as it came.]

[Giotto stopped moving towards him. Why? Was it because Tsuna had made a move to touch him? Was he avoiding him again?

The hallucination Giotto had been unusually cut-throat and ruthless, and yet, Tsuna couldn't deny the way it hurt so badly when Giotto avoided him. Giotto never avoided him. Giotto moved toward him, pet his hair and hugged him. But he hadn't, then. He'd just moved to the side and acted as though Tsuna hadn't approached him at all.

And he feels that pain again, when Giotto doesn't approach him. He's scared of what Giotto's touch might do, yes, but he was even more scared that Giotto was a hallucination. How could he validate it without feeling him, feeling his solidness and reality?

But it occurs to him, even if he did touch Giotto, he couldn't be certain it was the real thing. His senses could be completely overridden at this point. Nobody he knew was real was around to validate anything.

He suddenly felt terribly and utterly alone, scared to believe even his own senses.

He pulls his legs up to him and wraps his arms tightly around them, burying his face into his knees as a little choked noise escapes him. And then he's giving quiet little sobs, because he's so overwhelmed and afraid, and with the apparent inability to distinguish reality from illusion, all those emotions of fear, helplessness, anxiety, and grief are finally finding release.]

[Giotto's eyes widen when Tsuna curls up and starts to sob, and he unceremoniously dumps Gatta back on the bed to go to him. He sits next to him, wrapping his arms around him gently, loosely. So Tsuna could get away if he wanted to.]

Hush, Tsuna. You're all right.

[He didn't want to upset him, but he didn't want him to lose whatever hold he had on reality. It wasn't his intention to cause Tsuna pain, but he could feel it. Pain and fear and helplessness, all from the way his body was tense and curled up and the way he sobs, quiet and desperate. Giotto thought about pushing his intuition back where he usually kept it, so he didn't tread on other people's private feelings or get overwhelmed himself, but he didn't. He could handle this.]

[He inhales sharply when arms wrap around him, and for a moment he just holds his breath, eyes screwed shut tight, his whole body rigid, because he's not entirely sure what's happening.

And then after about five seconds, when it doesn't seem to be getting worse, the embrace isn't swallowing him or anything like that, he relaxes, but only a bit, keeping his position.

The tiny voice is wobbly, and so uncertain.]

Giotto?

Tsuna. [He tightens his hold on Tsuna, just a bit, because he's not going anywhere.] It's me.

[It isn't an illusion or a hallucination. He's actually here.]

Edited 2013-05-10 01:57 (UTC)

[He uncurls a bit at those words. Giotto felt warm. Warm and solid and there.

He suddenly pitches the upper part of his body forward, ignoring the pain shooting through his arm as he gripped Giotto's coat. He didn't care about that. All he wanted to know was that this was honestly reality, that they were really back in the castle, that he was safe.

He sobs brokenly into him, his whole body shaking, and he grips the clothing tightly, pulling Giotto as close as he could, practically burying himself into him.

He wants the fear to stop. The uncertainty to stop. The danger to stop. The dying to stop.

He just wants everything to go back to the way it was before. The way it should be.]

[Giotto stiffens a bit when Tsuna pitches forward onto him, holding onto him like a lifeline, because that position must hurt. But then he's sobbing into him, and Giotto tightens his arms around him, holding him as close as he can.

This is really all the comfort Giotto can offer right now, holding him while he cries and trying to soothe him. He brings his hand up to run his fingers through his hair, slightly dirty and tangled.] Hush, hush. I'm right here.

Edited 2013-05-10 03:21 (UTC)

[And he honestly doesn't care how that puts more pressure on his shoulder and intensifies the pain. The embrace isn't scary or overwhelming, despite how tight it is. It's solid and tight and secure. It's secure, it's safe.

And then he sobs even harder, because he wants so badly for this to be real. For him to truly be safe, to not have to worry about horrid hallucinations or people going insane or his friends getting hurt and dying. He wants this to be Giotto, the grandfather, the caring and supportive man, not Primo, with his stern expression, telling Tsuna that only the family mattered and everyone else should die.

He continues sobbing until he's finally cried himself out, at which point he just leans quietly into Giotto. He's more exhausted than relieved, but at least he's no longer terrified or desperate, and he's let out the feelings that had been building inside of him.]

[Giotto keeps running his fingers through Tsuna's hair, as he relaxes and the sobs trail off. He can feel Tsuna's pain and fear lessening slightly, the anxiousness decreasing as he slumps against Giotto's body, face pressed into his chest.

He loosens his embrace, however, so he doesn't keep pressing on Tsuna's shoulder. Giotto doesn't want to cause him more pain, physical or mental.]

Edited 2013-05-10 15:16 (UTC)

[A small sigh of relief escapes him when Giotto lessens his grip, his shoulder sore from the pressure. He still wasn't completely sure if this was reality, but... the signs were good, at least. Or maybe this was a dream?...

Either way, he doesn't seem to be in any immediate danger, and not from Giotto. He shifts some to make himself more comfortable, snuggling into Giotto more than trying to desperately bury himself into him now. He felt solid and real. The hand running through his hair was gentle and tender. And the scent was familiar and welcoming as well.

At any other time, Tsuna would've flushed at the suggestion of cuddling up to Giotto. Sure, he often rustled his hair a little, and the two had a few hugs here and there, but something like cuddling? That was just too much. He was fifteen years old, after all, not some child that needed to be coddled.

But here he was, cuddling into him and seeking his warmth. Not even truly caring at this point if it was a fabrication of Paradisa or the real thing, he just... needed the comfort. He needed time to genuinely relax, because the past few days have just been nonstop fear and anxiety, and they'd taken their toll on him for sure.]

Edited 2013-05-10 15:44 (UTC)

Feeling a bit better, bambino? [He could tell he was more relaxed, but that wasn't much. He needed to hear Tsuna speak, to tell him what upset him. Even if he already had a good idea.]

...yeah.

[Perhaps he wasn't feeling good, but he was feeling better. Less nervous and less afraid.

He can feel his flame within himself, his power accessible to him. So.. there was a good chance that this was real, that those horrific days really had ended.

But he doesn't regret crying into Giotto. At least not immediately. He trusted Giotto wholly and completely, trusted him not to make light of his moment of weakness, and trusted him to be his support when he did have that moment, to keep him from utterly crashing. He honestly does feel safe now, and he cuddles into him a little more.]

[A little smile and a huff of laughter.] Then I'm glad for that. This is quite real, I assure you.

[Giotto knows he is real, and that Tsuna is real. His intuition tells him that much.]

Okay.

[He might actually believe him now. It does feel and seem like reality.

If that was the case... then at least they wouldn't have to deal with those sorts of things happening anymore. Not for a bit, at least. They actually had a moment's reprieve.

He jumps a little when something brushes against his back, and his grip tightens on Giotto slightly. It was probably just Gatta, but he couldn't help still being a bit on edge after those four days.]

[He feels him jump at that, and hushes him, running a comforting hand through his hair again.] It's just Gatta.

[He was probably too frantic and upset to even think about using his intuition (if he even had it, Giotto had yet to see any indication that he did) to be able to distinguish from reality and illusion, like Giotto was.]

[He nods, slowly relaxing again. His hyper intuition hadn't sent off any warning signals, but the fact was that Tsuna was just skeptical of trusting even that. If the castle could manipulate them to see things and hear things that weren't there, who was to say it wasn't trying to lull him into a false sense of security?

At this point, however, he was pretty certain it wasn't an illusion.

He gives a tiny smile when Gatta comes around and mewls softly at him. He reaches out and gently pets her back, feeling her spine curve into his hand. Gatta was really the only animal he'd ever really gotten along with, and he never minded her rubbing against his legs that much, but this was the first time he'd actually reached out to touch her.]

[Giotto smiles as he relaxes, and relaxes himself. he had been worried about Tsuna not believing this was all real, but he seemed well on his way to doing that. There was still that twinge of guilt, though, for setting him off in the first place, for being the thing that Tsuna hallucinated while trapped on that ship. Who knows what the thing pretending to be him had said? And Giotto hadn't been there to help at all, been there to support Tsuna, though he wonders how much good he would have even done.

He banishes that, though, and looks over at where Tsuna is petting Gatta.] She likes you.

Mmn.

[He's very relaxed now, nestled against Giotto as he pets his cat. It's the safest he's felt in days, and he seems content to just lay here for now, curled up in Giotto's warmth.]

[Giotto honestly smiles now, watching them. He thinks about what to say that is harmless, isn't talking about what happened to Tsuna or anything heavy.] Did you know I'd always wanted a cat, but never had one before this?

[He blinks, tilting his head slightly to look up at him, even though it's impossible from this angle.]

Why didn't you get one before?

G never let me have one. [He shrugs.] Anyway, I had such a busy lifestyle I never would have been able to be around to take care of it.

[A busy lifestyle... Tsuna falls quiet at that, withdrawing his hand from Gatta.]

What kind of things do you do, exactly? As a mafia boss?

[Giotto blinks. He wasn't exactly...expecting that question. Not as such. Hadn't they told him what the Mafia does?] ...Nobody's told you?

[And anyway, did Tsuna really want to talk about that right now?]