Jade Harley | gardenGnostic (
nukeoleptic) wrote in
paradisalogs2013-07-28 07:32 pm
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Who: Dave Strider & Jade Harley
What: Dave Strider is a deadbeat dad.
When: Sunday, 7/28
Where: In the castle.
Rating: PG? PG-13 maybe for language.
Jade figured that Dave should just count himself lucky that she didn't ask for child support, and if she hadn't grown up so accustomed to Bec, having a near-sentient hellbeast for a pet might have been a little more jarring. As it was, she was incredibly fond of Rock.
She was also incredibly fond of forcing Dave to take Rock on walks.
So she stands right outside his room, leash in hand, and raps her knuckles twice on Dave's door. "Daaaave, hurry uuup. It's your turn today, he has missed you!" Yeah no sorry bro, you're not getting out of this one.
What: Dave Strider is a deadbeat dad.
When: Sunday, 7/28
Where: In the castle.
Rating: PG? PG-13 maybe for language.
Jade figured that Dave should just count himself lucky that she didn't ask for child support, and if she hadn't grown up so accustomed to Bec, having a near-sentient hellbeast for a pet might have been a little more jarring. As it was, she was incredibly fond of Rock.
She was also incredibly fond of forcing Dave to take Rock on walks.
So she stands right outside his room, leash in hand, and raps her knuckles twice on Dave's door. "Daaaave, hurry uuup. It's your turn today, he has missed you!" Yeah no sorry bro, you're not getting out of this one.
no subject
Normally, he could pretend he wasn't in, even if the likelihood of him not being in his room when he wasn't pestering Rose or Jade was abysmally low. But at least it'd be an option when he wasn't blasting music and the sound weren't clearly permeating through the door.
A guy needs his time to catch up with Snoop, a'ight.
"No way, I'd know if it were my turn." He opts to talk through the door, over the music, instead of answering it. "It's barely even started to not be my turn, so don't try to con me."
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She phases her head through the door, and then the hand with the leash, waving it at him. This would likely be incredibly disconcerting for anyone passing by.
"He misses you!"
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"He's a giant fire-rat, Jade, he doesn't miss me. If anything, he misses the Doritos I'd feed him."
He waves a bag of them at her in return, the classic Nacho Cheese.
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Jade reaches down then, opening Dave's door from the inside, just making sure that it's not locked. And then she'll step inside like a real human being.. look at her, using doors. Good job, Jade.
"And you should miss him, too."
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"Dude, no, back up. This isn't a fair trade at all. If you're going to make me take the Pokémon, confiscating the Doritos is out of the question. And besides, I'm busy."
With his other hand, he picks up the SBAHJifier in his lap. See? Totally busy.
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Jade releases the leash and Rock just sort of makes his way over to Dave, dropping down next to him and snuffling toward the Dorito bag. Jade is doing her best to look stern, crossing her arms as she remains in the doorway.
"He is your responsibility! You're setting a really bad example, you know."
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The Pokémon is getting his fair share of chips, alright. This is the face of responsible parenthood.
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So she just teleports the bag of Doritos into her hand and begins munching.
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Rock meanwhile snuffs at his hand, licking the orange dust off him, and Dave makes a slight face.
Monster drool.
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Jade shoves her hand into the bag and takes a pointed munch on one of his chips.
"Take the leash, Dave. You know you want to."
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"No way. You've got it in your head that I'm being reluctant for the sake of being reluctant, but this is like. Straight up refus—fuck!"
Rock takes this as his cue to happily flop all 175+ pounds of Pokémon onto Dave, sending him toppling backwards.
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"Good boy! Just like I taught you."
Someone has it out for you, Dave.
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Dave lies on his back for a moment, arms flopped uselessly to either side of him, and stares up at the ceiling. Rock snorts happily, still stretched over his torso, and hopefully doesn't catch anything on fire with his blazing ruff.
"I'm reporting you to Social Services."
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Her tone is bright as hell.
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His tone is flat as hell.
"I'm gonna teach him to shit in your room."
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Jade wiggles her fingers at them both as she steps backwards, finally just phasing through the door. Enjoy, Dave. :')
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...Rock will have a large quantity of orange dust on his muzzle and roar along to any music by the time Jade gets back, though, so Dave can't consider it a total waste.