paradisalogs | closed | if I was gonna go somewhere I'd be there by now

Entry tags:

closed | if I was gonna go somewhere I'd be there by now

Who: Steph and Ezio
What: Spirals and BFF time.
When: Last night.
Where: Ezio's room.
Rating: PG13

Eventually, Stephanie finds herself outside of Ezio's room. She stands there for a few moments, rubbing at miserably puffy eyes, brushing her fingers through the ends of her hair. Her tongue wets her lips. She doesn't know why she's trying to look okay when she's definitely not even in the gravitational pull of okay, but she feels like she should try to at least look a little composed so she doesn't scare him. Guys. Yeah. Something like that. Have to protect them from emotional outbursts and stuff.

She takes a sniffly breath through her nose and knocks on the door.

As she waits for him to answer, she picks at her thumb, squinting at the way the moisture from her wet eyes remains on the pads of her fingertips. She's never really paid attention to that before.

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Of all the things to open his door to, he hadn't really expected Stephanie in another outburst of emotion. Last time she had been like this, it had been because of Cassandra's death, one that was temporary –– what could have prompted this?

Answers, however, will have to wait. After staring at her blankly in an attempt to process, he opens his arms to her for a hug. She looks like she needs it.

"Bambina, bambina," he says, softly. "What is wrong?"

That's precisely what she wanted from him. Ezio's big hugs make her feel better. She's sure some psychologist would love to try to relate that to her dad and not getting enough hugs as a kid, but she doesn't care as she buries her face into his chest and does her best to keep it together. The tears return, but at least they're not loud, messy sobs anymore.

Maybe it's a little scummy, crying on Ezio about a guy he didn't even like a little bit, but she's hoping he can see past that.

"Tim's gone," she replies, muffled. It's weird to go from a year in a relationship to suddenly nothing at all without even a break up to mull over. It's like having duct tape ripped from the skin. It just hurts and there's nothing to do about it until it stops.

Oh dear.

If he's being honest, Ezio feels pleased at the idea of Tim being gone, particularly when Tim has always been a pedantic asshole with him, but at least he can feel sympathy for Stephanie's upset, as well as frustration that Tim could leave her like this.

Dick.

Still, Ezio gathers Stephanie up in his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Paradisa has been terrible again, hmm?"

"It's on a roll," she says, with the most tired laugh there ever was. "It sucks. It really, really sucks."

"Well, then, we will have to do things to make it more pleasant, hmm?" he replies, almost into her hair. Then he pulls away, just barely enough to scoot them inside and out of the doorway, and then he nudges the door closed with his foot. He shifts to cup her cheek with his hand to get a better look at her.

"How long have you known?"

"Since this morning. Cass told me," she responds. So this is Steph after the initial tsunami of emotion. Blue eyes tinged with red glance up at Ezio before looking back down.

This really does suck.

"I feel like I've been hit by a car."

"I am sure cars are never quite so personal," he replies, gently as he can. He leans in just enough to kiss her on each brow, right above each eye. "Come. We should get you a good drink to ease this hurt."

She nods, leaning in to him before heading to the nearest sofa.

"The funny thing is that I knew this was going to happen. Sure, maybe my guard lowered after a year, but I knew..."

He lets her go.

"No one could have truly known, bella."

"There's some sort of science to it. Count up all the relationships I've had here, find the percentage of how many go home, wow it's almost at 100%, factor in my bad luck and there you go." It's childish and not very helpful, but for a moment being bitter feels alright.

"I'd still be upset right now, but I wouldn't feel so..." Heartbroken. "I wouldn't feel like I need to start from scratch."

"Couldn't you say the same for all of us who remain here for years at a time?" he replies. "You and Tim are not together in your time, correct? Perhaps it is best to call it a rare opportunity to visit the past, rather than building for the future."

Meanwhile, he's pouring her out some cupcake vodka –– the vodka certain ladyfriends from the future seemed to be especially fond of. Perhaps she'd like that better than wine.

"Both of which are wastes of time." He's trying to help, but she just wants to be miserable for a little while. Be angry with the world and not have to immediately start focusing on feeling better, because that's going to take a lot of energy that she doesn't want to use right now.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid."

He moves back towards her and holds out her drink to her. She'd gotten him drunk a few times to stave off the emotional exhaustion of losing loved ones, so he figures it is fair to return the favour.

Ezio sits with her and pauses to find the right words.

"I do not think you are stupid at all."

"You didn't even like him. I know you're not even a little bit upset that he's gone." Which is maybe why it's easier being here than anywhere else.

Stephanie doesn't look at him, instead looking at the drink, surprised it's not wine. She's so upset he's pulling out the big, modern, flavored vodka guns. Ugh.

She gives it a sniff before taking a sip and cringing, but she keeps the glass in her hands.

He shifts closer and lays an arm across the back of the couch. He's not sure if she wants to be held or not when she's turning on him, so all he can do is stay open and try not to take it personally.

"If we are being honest, the only reason I am upset is because he has upset you, Stephanie. He never would have endeared himself to me, the same way that I never would have earned his respect or trust."

She sighs, rough and forced. It's annoying because Ezio's right. A year and the most she got out of Tim was him mostly ignoring Ezio. It never felt right, that. Her best friend and her boyfriend unable to even be in the same room with each other.

"No one has to worry about that anymore," she replies after a pause, taking another sip. That's a weird sort of relief. No more secrets, no more white lies. No more worrying about everything tumbling down because there's not anything that can tumble down as of today.

He pauses.

"It is easier for you this way, certainly. And you can always see Tim again when it is your turn to go home, no?"

"It's complicated," she says, and she doesn't sound interested in explaining. She has no room for boys in Gotham, not when she's Batgirl and still focusing on building herself into the person she wants to be. She can't risk changing herself into what someone else might want her to be, and she knows herself well enough to guess that would happen pretty easily.

"I'm pretty sure I'm here forever."

He reaches to gently brush her hair from her face.

"We know that will not be true, Stephanie."

Another sigh.

"What am I supposed to do if you won't let me fall into a pit of sorrow and loathing?"

"Tragically, you must go on living," he replies. "After all, you still have friends here. I think they would all be offended if you were to be sorrowful for want of a single boy."

"Can't offend the friends with the cake flavoured alcohol, or else I'm in real trouble, huh?" She runs her index finger around the top of her glass. "I'll be fine."

Ezio nods, slowly, and he reaches again to brush the hair from her face.

"It's good, isn't it?" Too weird for him, honestly, but it's levity. "Alcohol dulls any sorrow, anyhow."

"It still burns, but it's better than straight vodka. I went drinking with Crowley after the whole thing with Cass, you know. That was a bad idea. Not doing that again. You, though--you're allowed to get me drunk." Somewhere, Tim rolls over in his not-grave or whatever.

"Being drunk with me is a different experience," he says. "I imagine I am a bit kinder than Crowley."

"A bit. But maybe I shouldn't talk crap about a potential future boyfriend, should I ever go crazy enough." She can't even joke about that without a grimace. "Sunglasses are very cool."

"He is the Snake of Eden," Ezio replies. He still takes that seriously. "As long as I am here, I will never see Crowley as your potential anything."

"Yeah, that's also kind of weird... I don't want to get anywhere close to dating animals, that's... no," she rubs the side of her face with her free hand. She shifts to get a good look at Ezio.

"Just keep me away from boys. No dating. No moving in together and playing house. Smack my hand if I even look like I'm considering it."

He gives her what he hopes is an amused look.

"Not even I could catch you before Tim arrived. How could anyone here manage what I couldn't after Tim?"

(Knowing his luck, probably James. Fucking James probably could.)

Steph gives him a slightly less amused look in return.

"You had a girlfriend, if you'll remember correctly."

"I didn't always," he replies, pointedly.

It's hard not to feel a little agitated. "Yeah, but when you didn't, you didn't just show interest in me. It was me and everyone else."

Ezio waves a hand, almost dismissively. He supposes it was stupid to even joke about it, so instead he changes the subject.

"And I was an idiot then," he says. "Stephanie. You made no mistake in rejoining with Tim. You enjoyed your time with him, even if it has come to an end. That is something to be glad about, at least. You need not write off your future, either."

Nice words and a nice change of subject. They don't really reach deep right now because Steph doesn't want them to, but she reaches over to pat his leg. It's appreciated.

"It is sort of funny how you and I haven't been single at the same time for like a year and a half. Right? It's funny, it's like we switch off or something."

She laughs, though it quickly trails off. Yeah. Hilarious.

"It is sort of funny," he agrees, but with a degree of shame for even having brought it up. This isn't supposed to be about them, it's supposed to be about her, and he certainly doesn't want his dislike of Tim to make it seem like he's angling for the rebound, so to speak.

Five or more years ago, he might have jumped at the chance to 'comfort' a woman, but now he's just concerned for her.

"Are you hungry? You'll want something to line your stomach with that vodka."

"Food is pretty much the last thing on my mind," she admits, "But you're right. I don't want to barf cake flavored booze. What to pair with it, though? Cake flavored stuff really only goes well with more cake flavored stuff. Let's have a cake party."

She doesn't sound nearly happy enough to have a real cake party.

Ezio reaches for her, arms open. Come cuddle first, then.

"Take a moment to decide what kind of cake, and I will do my best to make it happen."

Edited 2014-04-15 05:46 (UTC)

Steph downs the rest of her glass before scooting closer. Fine, fine. She'll cuddle. It looks like a chore until she's close. Then she just sort of melts into his side.

"You're the best. Thank you." She sniffles and rubs her eyes. Just about anything will make her cry, now. "I don't have a lot of friends that would try to cheer me up with alcohol and food."

Ezio helps her cuddle up, relaxing so they'll both be comfortable together. He lets his fingers run through her hair again before settling his arm around her, the other protectively on her thigh.

"You have more than you think, but there could be thousands or no one at all and I would still be here for you. Just as you have been here for me, time and time again."

"So that's why you're so good at this, huh? Learned from the master?" She jokes, but Ezio's always been good at making her calm down and relax. It probably helps that they're both suckers for cuddling. And Steph is pretty sure Ezio is one of the best cuddlers around. It's okay to be a vulnerable mess with him, because she knows he'll take care of her.

"Don't know what I'd do without you."

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closed | if I was gonna go somewhere I'd be there by now

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