paradisalogs | Accept this confession

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Accept this confession

Who: Elektra and Fred
What: talking about the bb! Wes situation
When: backdated to the evening after Wesley's loss starts
Where: Elektra's room
Rating: PG-ish? There will be talk of really questionable parenting.

It takes a while to square away everything perfectly. She has to be sure Wesley in his current child form is actually asleep before they got into this. Out of paranoia, Elektra shuts her eyes and focuses a moment to be absolutely certain of it. Satisfied by what she sees, Elektra reopens them and gives Fred her full attention. It might look like stalling to anyone else. The story ahead of them was far from pretty or pleasant to speak of. Truly she is protective of the information and the man (or rather boy at the moment) himself. Wesley is her friend. It wouldn't be good for him to hear the story all over again given his reaction to the small mention of it earlier.

The thought of it made her visibly on edge. Even now she cannot quite shake the feeling something bad will happen to him while he is like this even if it is something as simple as being triggered from a story. It was easy to hide when he was the one worrying earlier. Now that is just them, well, Elektra is simply too accustomed to being up front with Fred now. "I think we're alright now." Elektra takes in her surroundings one last time. She thinks adults talking in the kitchen shouldn't raise any suspicion if he does suddenly wake up. It wouldn't hurt to add a little more to the scene. She needs to be able to move a little to ease her anxiety. “I should make tea. Do you want any?”

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Fred, quietly, continues to watch her friend. Because Elektra has tackled one of the biggest questions she's never managed to find an answer to.

"Only what's the point, exactly? Of doing that to him? He doesn't even...." What? Know her? Like her? Fred pushes past that. "I guess I'm getting tired of not understanding why."

Elektra taps her fingers against her mug thoughtfully. "We never faced down our demons properly. I like to think that was the point of being stuck in our heads. We were supposed to deal with what was inside there. If I'm right this is his chance to deal with what happened. That may also be why he remembers me. I'm supposed to help him."

Fred takes her own mug, twisting it slowly in her hands and drawing in the seeping warmth. Winter is officially behind them now. She's not entirely certain why she still feels a chill.

"But that is suggesting the castle actually wants to help us somehow."

The notion brought too many other questions on its heels. Was the castle that sentient? Did it actually communicate with them somehow, and they hadn't managed to hear? Would it stop talking to them?

The images from the expedition still haunted her.

Elektra shrugs. "Isn't it? I can't help noticing the way it's backed off." She drops the bag in her mug and stares down at it. "Maybe I'm the wrong person to judge this. This is an improvement over the situation I face at home." Elektra has only had to kill demons since her arrival. How many people would have died by now so she could keep on living there? Ten? Twenty? A hundred?

Fred pales slightly at that. Clearly, motivations of the castle aside, here is much better than there. A general thought that only becomes that much stronger with each friend that slips back home. Cordy hadn't been here nearly as long as some, and that did not protect her. How much longer did she have? Elektra? Wesley?

Still, again it came back to not understanding. To not knowing how to translate whatever the castle was trying to say. If it was at all.

My problem is I can't ever stop wondering what's next."

Elektra makes no effort to fight the amused smile that comes to her lips. "Knowing what comes next is highly overrated." She pauses briefly. "Except in the cases where it stops you from dying in some horrible way. I usually like knowing about those ahead of time."

Elektra takes a long sip from her mug. "I guess don't worry about the future is a pointless thing to ask of you."

A smile flickers, one that's long been especially tailored to Elektra.

"I don't think my head will ever not be a bit dizzy when it comes to thoughts. Sometimes it's downright hard to sleep at night."

Elektra laughs. "It's a wonder you can meditate at all with a mind like that."

And now she laughs as well. It's brief, and certainly tailored by the strain of the day. But it's there.

"Well maybe you should just remember to take that into account the next time I'm having trouble concentrating."

Elektra's amusement does not diminish. This was a nice change of pace. She sees no reason to go back just yet.

"Are you kidding? You should be happy I'm nothing like my sensei."

Her smile is downright lingering now.

"Should I be scared, now?"

Elektra shakes her head. "The day I act anything like my sensei is the day I stop fighting altogether. No one deserves that kind of treatment."

She laughs because for all Stick's manipulation and harshness, he did help in the end.

She doesn't give Elektra a lot of warning, really. If anything Fred's been waiting for the tea to cool off to protect them from any accidents. That, and for the element of surprise.

One minute they're trading words back and forth...

And in the next she's hugging her friend right. Elektra is just going to have to deal with it.

"...thank you. For taking care of him."

Elektra is dealing with it in her own way. It takes her a second to catch up with what's going on. A part of her hoped they would just keep going back and forth. Elektra doesn't want to tell Fred she doesn't deserve to ever be thanked. Really that is what she should say now. It is the truth. Instead she returns the hug, fingers gently threading through Fred's hair, and sighs.

"...stop it."

The words are muttered into Elektra's shoulder, clearly a direct order that's not considering any arguments.

A moment of surprise then an amused sound. Somehow she cannot be surprised for long that Fred saw through her. "I wasn't going to say it."

A stern glance followed, not that Elektra could see.

"You didn't have to..."

Somehow she can still feel it. Elektra looks guilty for entirely different reason now. She doesn't aim to upset Fred after all. It does not matter to her Fred can't see that look anymore than she could see that stern glance.

"I'm not going to stop taking care of him. Until this is over you can count on me to protect Wesley." And after. That goes unsaid for many reasons.

"He needs it," Fred admitted after no small amount of silence. "I think you're pretty darn close to the only person that's never once let him down."

Because almost everybody had. Including herself. And especially his father.

Elektra thinks to argue for a second before thinking better of it. Fred didn't say that easily. No sense rubbing it in her face for confirmation.

"I won't let that change."

Fred pulled back then, studying Elektra openly. She didn't believe that her friend would mind. But she did believe everything else. That Elektra would stand by her word.

She released a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding. Wesley still wasn't completely at ease with her, but at least she was certain he had one friend.

Still raw from her earlier admittance, Fred reached for something else. Anything else, including a fumbled attempt at humor.

...and it looks like I'm going to have to get used to sleeping alone again. Luckily I've had a lot of practice."

Elektra cracks a smile despite herself. She is concerned about Fred feeling alone. It can't be easy having to let her care for Wesley in this situation. Elektra isn't ready to bring that up just yet. She is unsure about it ever being brought up at all so Elektra plays along.

"I remember those days; sleeping alone. I used to be great at it."

A smile flickers, both at the small acknowledgment of Oliver and Elektra's considered attempt at ignoring her slightly forced humor.

"I was getting downright efficient at it. Right down to stealing my own covers."

Briefly she considers if there was anything at Wesley's place that would need tending to in his absence, but nothing came to mind. She would probably just take the next morning to make certain that everything was locked up tight.

Elektra mocks a disapproving look right on cue. "Remind me to never share a bed with you." She takes a long sip of her tea. "Is there anything you need until this is over? I'll level with you. I don't have a clue what he does normally, but I can find a way to help out while watching him and managing the store."

She enjoys keeping busy so it isn't a burden to her.

Fred knew without question that Elektra did not mean it that way. But something about her offer and the way it tripped right behind discussions of sharing a bed? She just barely smothered her laugh. But even that small defeated sound helped. It opened her chest, somehow.

"I don't really think that's a list you want me to make."

It was a moment she could only ever imagine sharing with Elektra.

Accept this confession

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