paradisalogs | [OPEN]

Entry tags:

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Who: The Freelancers and anyone else
What: Nightmares
When: Through the Nightmare plot
Where: The Mother of Invention
Rating: TBD, potential warning for torture or other really bad things, as RvB Freelancer era isn't very nice

This is the Frigate Mother of Invention. The home base of the UNSC's top secret Project Freelancer. As much as the frigate might have been lively before, now it's full of eerily empty echoing halls, windows into the empty blackness of space, and alarms that seem to be going off all too frequent. The training areas have grown a darker, more sinister air. As for the medical areas and the research labs? You really don't want to go there.

[OOC: Okay, there will be specific nightmare threads within this that I'll be linking on the main post and I will put warnings if any of those might be too bad. If you'd like to join in from outside cast, either hit one of those or start a new thread. We'll be tagging around, and I'll link any new threads you might set up.]

Locker Room (York) | Ranking Board (South) | Implantation Room (Washington) (Warning, not sure how bad this might be) | The Director (Carolina)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He'd held onto hope that she was alive and kicking ass and taking names, but the fact of the matter was she'd been shoved off a cliff after having two minds ripped out of her head in an inhospitable environment. Even if she could have survived that, the radio silence for years said that she was dead to him one way or another.

Her hand won't come back dry. He's more upset about this than he wants to admit.]

You would have found someone else to help you. That's how you are.

[She really can't argue with that point. She's bull-headed and strong-willed enough to have done things, even if she didn't have him here, but she wouldn't have done as well with the whole Maine fiasco, with South, with Wash. His tears on her hand push her to move a little closer, wrapping her arms more fully around him and trying to tuck him safely in her grasp.]

I wouldn't trust them like I trust you.

[Well, he doesn't push her away, but he can't exactly relax just yet, either. So she'll have a nice bundle of tension in her arms, and he's still not turning around to face her.

York can't argue the trust part - she's given him far more trust than he would have asked for, really - but it doesn't change that she'd eventually leave him and there was nothing he'd said that could change her mind.

Instead he'll remain silent, trying to get his breathing under control at least.]

[Him not responding is absolutely heartbreaking and she honestly doesn't know what to say, so she runs her hand along his back in an attempt to soothe him. She pauses for a moment before realizing that maybe there is something she can do. For a second, she loosens her grip so she can reach over for the panda from Laura's room back in May. The "try" is still written so clearly on the tag, in York's own handwriting.

Carefully, she navigates the panda toward his hands and then curls her arms around him again.]

[Yeah, that's about the last straw after everything he's just been through, and York just clutches the panda and starts crying. For himself, for her, for everything they could have had and lost, but mostly because even though he can try all he want he still doesn't really believe it'll work. Not right now, anyway.

Because when has he ever been that lucky?]

[When York starts to cry, the pain in Carolna's chest expands through her and she holds him painfully tight and close to her. Seeing him like this, devoid completely of his usual easy smile and humor, hurts too much and she wishes there were some kind of quick fix to help him.

But, all she can really do right now is just be there for him. She presses a kiss to his hair as she just holds him. It isn't fair. It isn't fair that a guy like him had to go through all that and then be reminded by the Castle of just how much he lost in his life. It's somehow not enough that he lost it all in the first place and possibly won't get a chance to make it right (although Carolina will just double her efforts to figure out a way to jog her memory if or when she disappears from the Castle.]

[Eventually he does actually feel better, between letting it out and finally acknowledging the arms around him. There's no quick fix for this, but the little things do help. The woman he loves isn't abandoning him only to be tossed off a cliff by a former ally, she's right next to him and willing to change. He has Delta, of course, being a steady pulse in his mind.

And, false hope or not, the little toy in his hands tells him that there may be a future that leaves the past behind - here and at home.

Finally he calms down enough to turn and hug Carolina back.]

Would you--stay with me for a while?

[There's no way he's sleeping again after that.]

[Carolina nods against the side of his head, where he's tucked safely and tightly against her. Of course she'll stay with him. She might not be as better-suited for comforting others, but she's been working on it the past year or so. Pulling back just a bit, she gives him a light tug on the arm.]

Let's go make some breakfast.

[He doesn't know if he's up to eating just yet, but he'll nod and slowly follow her anyway, keeping Laura's panda clutched tightly in one arm.]

I'll put the coffee on.

[That should help. Coffee is one of those things that can be very soothing - or at least remind you that you're awake.]

[Padding down to the kitchen, Carolina heads over to the toaster to start get some toast going before they hit anything more solid food-wise. Still, as she moves around the kitchen, she makes sure she's no more than arm's length away, hoping her presence will be a comfort in and of itself. She's not going anywhere. She's not fighting or training or sparring or obsessing. Just here, having some breakfast with him. There's no touch of her usual militaristic efficiency in her movements, every tug of plastic or tie or bread a touch slower and more lazy.]

[Toast is probably a good idea. Toast can be munched, zombie-like, while trying not to think about anything at all. He takes a moment to inhale the scent of the coffee grounds as he's fiddling with the machine, mechanically making sure all the settings are correct before setting it to brew. Once it's brewing, he turns around to lean against the counter and frowns over at her.]

Delta says it's been three days.

That's not usual. [She'd fallen asleep after Paris for four days, for reasons she doesn't understand, but she's not sure if this happened just to them or anyone else.] I'll check my journal later.

[Because she's not about to ditch him after a nightmare like that.]

Yeah.

[Maybe it was some kind of joint loss thing. A really shitty one.

York takes a few more deep breaths to steady himself out as the toast and coffee are made.]

There was more to it, too. I saw Wash getting his AI. And--and Kat was there, too, before. In--on Earth with the Covenant attacking.

[Carolina pales as he mentions Wash. Yeah, she remembered Wash walking in on her conversation with the Director. And South. The rooftop with the banshees had been overwhelming but not nearly as terrifying as the other dreams she'd had.]

I saw Wash, too. And South. And fought off the Covenant.

[She frowns further, mind replaying the fight in the elevator for a moment, followed quickly by both South's and Wash's fear of her. ] Has this ever happened before in the Castle?

They were on Earth. [Not realizing he had already said that.] In my city. They were--

[No, calm down, swallow. Breathe.]

I don't think so. Not that I remember, anyway.

[She nods at his second mention of Earth, watching him with a growing concern as she tries to push her own fear and feeling stupid for her own selfish concerns about two or three people than an entire planet. Stupid is quickly followed by the foreign taste of disgust. Maybe that's why South had been afraid of her.

Swallowing,] And anyone in the dream remembers it. [Oh hey there toast, time for some mechanical munching as her mind races. God, how is she supposed to fix the team up anymore. Maybe she won't be able to, maybe Texas would be better at---

No. Don't go there.]

If Wash remembers that he's going to be feeling like shit when he wakes up. We--we should probably check on him when it's light outside.

[And what? Offer him some kind of comfort? It would have been easier to have nightmares about what was easy to dismiss in the light of day, but this had all actually happened to them.]

[Carolina swallows; she's not sure if her presence would be in any way comforting to Wash right now.] We need to get our bearings first before we go checking on anyone else.

Yeah. I don't--know that I'd be any good to anybody right now.

[Which is a pretty big admission, coming from him. But he's really shaken by what's just happened, and York's not sure even food and coffee can help.]

[His confession is all the more eye-opening for her and she nods as evenly as she can before pouring herself a cup of coffee. They could put in a movie and she could try to be semi-productive, but she's not sure how much real progress she'll make on anything right now. ]

How about a movie?

[A movie?]

Something tame. Maybe a kids' movie.

[But he's nodding as he grabs a coffee and some toast for himself. Yeah, that might help him calm down.]

Maybe something with a bunch of baby animals.

[...yeah he just admitted to liking baby animals.]

[Carolina grins over at him at his mention of baby animals. Fierce spec ops soldier as he is, he still likes baby animals. Grabbing her own mug, she pads over toward the couch.] Don't know any of those movies off the top of my head.

D? [He's hoping Delta has some idea.]

Of course. Would you prefer animation or live action?

Live action. Maybe with some British guy narrating.

[And Delta wishes up a copy of some pseudo-documentary about a year in the life of some baby tigers, which York puts in.]

[Carolina sets her coffee mug down and takes a couple moments to start the fire before returning to her seat next to him. Tossing a blanket over them, she leans up against him as the first bits of narration start, detailing how much a mother tiger cares for her cubs.]

[York doesn't even pretend not to cling to her, trying to take comfort in her body heat and even in her scent, reassuring himself that the dream is over and they're right here together, and that she isn't leaving him suspended in zero gravity in an elevator shaft. The baby tigers are tiny and mewling onscreen, and between that and the light breakfast he seems to be calming down at least a little.]

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my heart :c

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