if you don't leave you will kill or be killed

[ex_garroter234]

Who: Micheletto and you
What: the most ridiculous intro i've ever written
When: 13/December, late afternoon
Where: the duck pond
Rating: ducks.

[There is currently a very nonplussed-looking man standing knee-deep in the duck pond. He has apparently been there for at least several minutes, because the ducks have become accustomed to his presence enough where they aren't too afraid to come close.

His hair is a little damp, too. Maybe he fell in earlier? Regardless, he's still just standing there. It's a little weird. Surely someone in such a catatonic state could use some assistance!

Of course, the second any hypothetical assistance gets close enough, he's going to grab them and toss them into the pond. Maybe that's why he looks so puzzled.]

[ooc.: during this post, micheletto's also experiencing his first temporary loss, wherein he will just shove people into the pond reflexively if they get within arm's reach. because it's funny. prose or actionspam, you decide!]

Comments

[ex_garroter234]

[This is not a very conventional Paradisa greeting at all and I would like to speak to my travel agent.

Micheletto takes the punch and then swings his arm out again, though this is more of a shove than another punch, and then he's scrambling to his feet.]

[assassino]

[No, it's the BEST THE BEST THE BEST.

Ezio stumbles in the water when shoved, and then gets up too to give chase.]

Cazzo di merda, what the fuck is your problem?

[ex_garroter234]

[He gestures emphatically. GET OUT.]

I should ask you the same.

[He's pretty sure Ezio is the one who started this. There's really no other explanation, because Micheletto certainly didn't make a conscious decision to go sprawling back into the duck pond.]

[assassino]

You threw me in the water, you bastard!

[ex_garroter234]

If I had wanted to push you into water, the result would have been very different.

[assassino]

Then how the fuck do you explain what just happened?!

[ex_garroter234]

Again, I ask you the same thing.

[This is getting annoying, so he might be reaching for his sword. B[ Go away.]

[assassino]

I have nothing to answer to.

[Ezio reaches for his own sword. WELL FUCK THIS GUY.]

[ex_garroter234]

[Micheletto doesn't even bother responding, just lunges at him with the sword. This is ridiculous they're standing in the duck pond. The ducks are just swimming on the other side ...]

[assassino]

[Ezio raises to block, then moves to disarm.]

[ex_garroter234]

[Micheletto drops his sword but pulls a dagger simultaneously, moving to tackle Ezio back into the pond.]

[assassino]

[He sees that dagger –– god, he's glad for over a decade of training –– and steps to the side. He doesn't fancy getting stabbed, but he doesn't fancy getting put underwater, either.]

[ex_garroter234]

[YEAH you should be nicer to Uncle Mario, Ezio; you would have some unwanted holes, otherwise! Also, later he dies.

Micheletto flips his dagger into a reverse grip, which gives him a more limited range, but probably looks scarier -- the implication being that he doesn't expect Ezio to manage escape.]

I do not take kindly to being kidnapped.

[assassino]

I don't give a shit how you take to kidnapping, as I am not your kidnapper!

[Ezio keeps an eye on that dagger, glad he has his hidden blades.]

[ex_garroter234]

Then tell me who is, and you'll be unimportant to me.

[assassino]

It is the castle itself, a living god!

[ex_garroter234]

[The flattest look imaginable ........ then he just turns around and starts to climb out of the water. He'll get his sword later; he's not about to stand there and converse with a mad person in a duck pond.]

[assassino]

[ANNOYED]

Where are you from, madman?

[ex_garroter234]

[DISMISSIVELY] Rome.

[assassino]

[That gets Ezio to lift his sword again.]

And what year?

[ex_garroter234]

[On the bank, Micheletto sheathes his dagger and concerns himself with adjusting his clothing, wringing out water. Like none of that just happened.

He'll kill him later, he thinks.

Scoffing, he doesn't look up from what he's doing.] What question is this? This living god has the power to change time?

[assassino]

I wouldn't ask such an absurd question if it did not, fool.

[ex_garroter234]

At least you recognise your absurdity.

[He begins to round the pond to fetch his sword from the other side, where he'd flung it.]

1497. [OR WHATEVER, he says whatever the proper year is. Borgias......]

[assassino]

[Not too far after him, then. Ezio scoffs regardless.]

It being truth does not prevent it from being absurd.

[ex_garroter234]

[Micheletto doesn't respond, just sheathes his sword, letting the loud clack as the blade slides in punctuate his silence for him.]

How far to Rome?