if you don't leave you will kill or be killed

[ex_garroter234]

Who: Micheletto and you
What: the most ridiculous intro i've ever written
When: 13/December, late afternoon
Where: the duck pond
Rating: ducks.

[There is currently a very nonplussed-looking man standing knee-deep in the duck pond. He has apparently been there for at least several minutes, because the ducks have become accustomed to his presence enough where they aren't too afraid to come close.

His hair is a little damp, too. Maybe he fell in earlier? Regardless, he's still just standing there. It's a little weird. Surely someone in such a catatonic state could use some assistance!

Of course, the second any hypothetical assistance gets close enough, he's going to grab them and toss them into the pond. Maybe that's why he looks so puzzled.]

[ooc.: during this post, micheletto's also experiencing his first temporary loss, wherein he will just shove people into the pond reflexively if they get within arm's reach. because it's funny. prose or actionspam, you decide!]

Comments

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia has taken to strolling through the castle grounds, before the weather turns much too cold for such follies. She dismissed the man as a statue at first, all stillness and muted colors, before something about him strikes her as familiar.

She stops and stares. ]

That is a terrible hiding place.

[ex_garroter234]

[He glances up sharply as soon as she speaks, apparently snapping out of whatever state he'd been in. (He's just really confused, that is all there is to it.)

His eyes widen almost imperceptibly with recognition, before he averts his gaze and looks down at the pond he's still standing in.]

It would be if it were at all meant to be a hiding place, my lady.

[heloise]

[ She narrows her eyes at him slightly, unsure of what to make of him, exactly. It was easier to sweep it all under the rug when the manservant skulked in shadows.

The castle will make this difficult. It always does. ]

Do you mean to be found, then?

[ex_garroter234]

[Let it be noted that Micheletto is actually handling this pretty well. He'd just been over the Tiber at night, with the cardinal -- and now he's surrounded by ducks, during the day, with the pope's daughter. So there is something not quite normal about what's going on, but he's doing his best to just go with it.

If anything, Micheletto was always flexible.

Still, he glances around at the trees, at the ducks, at their surroundings, at anything but Lucrezia herself; he's a little uncomfortable with addressing her directly. It's just too familiar, with who and what she is. With what Micheletto is.]

Whether or not I meant it doesn't really matter. Unless you can truthfully say you did not see me.

[heloise]

[ It is unfair, of course, to place the blame on the instrument rather than the master. But this seems easier, and anger has made her impatient. This will do.

She keeps her gaze on him, cold and judgmental. She intends for him to be uncomfortable. ]

Not truthfully. Have I good reason to lie for your sake?

[ex_garroter234]

[He knows what she's doing. Unfortunately, he can't really do anything about it, so he absently nudges a duck with his leg, watching as it swims away.]

Not as far as I'm aware, my lady.

[heloise]

[ Hey, be nice to the ducks. By this point, Lucrezia is only finding excuses to be angry at him, because she can't be openly so with the others. ]

I doubt he would be pleased to know of this meeting.

[assassino]

[Ezio is going for a fucking walk when he sees a dude in familiar dress.]

A bit cold for that, isn't it?

[ex_garroter234]

[Flippancy isn't helpful, Ezio!! Micheletto quits just standing there catatonically and glances up.]

It was not intentional.

[assassino]

[Ezio laughs, probably at him rather than with him.]

Then what are you waiting for, just standing there?

[ex_garroter234]

[Micheletto stares at him for a moment, quiet, maybe trying to decide if it's worth it to fuck this guy's shit up. Apparently it isn't, because he starts to climb out of the pond instead.

Of course, once he's close enough to Ezio, he compulsively reaches to push him into the water. So maybe that was a moot decision.]

[assassino]

Hey––!

[Ezio wasn't expecting that -- he resists the moment Micheletto grabs him, but if he's going down, then Micheletto is going with him!]

[ex_garroter234]

[Renaissance men falling into a pond full of ducks in a deadly embrace: the thread.

By which I mean Micheletto certainly does fall back into the water. The shove was magically reflexive, but the punch he throws in Ezio's direction as they fall is just regular instinct.]

[secondchances]

[Steph might hang out with Renaissance people often, but she still can't tell their style of dress apart from generic medieval fantasy sort of stuff. So, it's just that there's this guy standing in the duck pond that makes her venture over. Maybe he was hurt or stuck or something.]

Hey! You okay over there?

[She hesitates at the edge of the pond, not wanting to get her shoes muddy unless she has to.]

[ex_garroter234]

[...... speaking of style of dress, what the hell is this woman wearing. Micheletto stares at her for a bit instead of answering, then realizes that she'd asked a question.]

Yes.

[It's not very reassuring, though, and more of an automatic response than anything else. How do you even answer that? He has no idea what's going on.]

[secondchances]

[Jeans, fuck yeah. Stephanie doesn't really like that stare, but she decides that's not something to call the man in the duck pond out on right this moment.]

Do you need a hand getting out of there? Or... am I interrupting some sort of duck research?

[ex_garroter234]

[Jeans are fucking weird, dude. Where is your shapeless bodice, lady?]

No to both.

[He wades over to the edge of the pond and begins to climb out. One foot is still in the pond when he abruptly shoots an arm out to push her into the water.]

[secondchances]

[Steph was just about to offer him a hand anyway when she's suddenly flying into the water, face first. That caught her completely off guard. Her face actually makes contact with the mud on the bottom, and all she can do is think about how much duck shit is down there.

There's a glorious moment in which her jean-clad ass is the only thing sticking out of the water.

Then, she's up on her feet and spluttering.]

Wow, what the hell was that? You--[Cough cough, everything is mud and water and probably duck feces.]

[ex_garroter234]

[Blue canvas breeches on a lady what does it mean no okay, there are more pressing matters at hand.

Namely, the fact that he has no idea what just happened. This day is just rife with confusion.

Still halfway in the pond, Micheletto only stares at her, then glances at his hands. Was he just completely losing his mind, is that what's happening here?]

I did not do that purposefully.

[abelard]

[Cesare is strolling past, concerned with the journal, when he notices a familiar face in the water.]

Micheletto?

[ex_garroter234]

[Micheletto keeps standing in the pond like an idiot, though he does glance up sharply when he hears that voice.]

Your Eminence -- what has happened? [Wades toward the edge ...]

[abelard]

[He comes closer, his face knit with concern.]

We have gone from Rome, been taken to a different world. Why are you standing in the water?

[ex_garroter234]

I thought I fell over the bridge. From the Tiber to ... [thhhhis. He gestures around. A duck punctuates this with a quack.]

Taken by whom?

[abelard]

Taken by the castle, it is a long story that can wait until you are not knee-deep in a pond.

[Cesare comes closer, as clearly his manservant is disoriented enough to probably need a bit of assistance.]

[ex_garroter234]

Who is the master of this castle?

[Micheletto doesn't really want to wait to get answers, because none of what Cesare is saying makes sense!

He does start climbing out of the pond with Cesare's assistance, though -- except as soon as he's about halfway out, one foot on the bank, he abruptly shoves Cesare into the water.]