if you don't leave you will kill or be killed

[ex_garroter234]

Who: Micheletto and you
What: the most ridiculous intro i've ever written
When: 13/December, late afternoon
Where: the duck pond
Rating: ducks.

[There is currently a very nonplussed-looking man standing knee-deep in the duck pond. He has apparently been there for at least several minutes, because the ducks have become accustomed to his presence enough where they aren't too afraid to come close.

His hair is a little damp, too. Maybe he fell in earlier? Regardless, he's still just standing there. It's a little weird. Surely someone in such a catatonic state could use some assistance!

Of course, the second any hypothetical assistance gets close enough, he's going to grab them and toss them into the pond. Maybe that's why he looks so puzzled.]

[ooc.: during this post, micheletto's also experiencing his first temporary loss, wherein he will just shove people into the pond reflexively if they get within arm's reach. because it's funny. prose or actionspam, you decide!]

Comments

[secondchances]

Why not?

[ex_garroter234]

The Borgia already know all those in Rome who would be of use to them.

[secondchances]

So you know them? Personally.

[Figures, really. None of these Italians are completely random!]

[ex_garroter234]

[He is trying his best to be shifty and vague about this, but this woman just keeps asking direct questions, doesn't she ... gosh ...]

You assume I would be of use to them.

[secondchances]

That's what you're implying.

[What's with this guy and being shifty and vague and not answering her direct questions? >:( ]

[ex_garroter234]

[*~IS IT?????~* but no he doesn't say that. What if he did, though? Maybe Steph just finds him so unsettling because he won't give her a straight answer, like a freaking Batman villain. Micheletto, calm down.

He scoffs lightly, shaking his head.]

I imply only that they would already know me if I am useful, and will never need to know me if I am not.

[Cryptic as this is, it's still the truth! He's useful to Cesare, so Cesare knows him. To everyone else, he's just That Guy...]

[secondchances]

Has anyone ever told you that you can be annoyingly vague?

[She says it with a smile, like she's joking, but she's dead serious and contemplating pulling out her hair. Or his hair. But his hair is sort of greasy looking...]

[ex_garroter234]

[It probably is.

Here's something, though: a straight answer for once.] No.

[secondchances]

[She stops to look at him, and then facepalms. REALLY.]

Well, for the record? You can be.

[ex_garroter234]

[MICHELETTO: RENAISSANCE ASSHOLE.]

I'll keep that in mind.

[secondchances]

Also, for the record, people tend to show more gratitude when I take time out of my busy schedule to show them around. That's without shoving me into ponds, too.

[ex_garroter234]

Then you are generous and forgiving, and must have the patience of saints.

[secondchances]

That's more like it, my nameless friend.

[NO THEY'RE NOT FRIENDS.]

[ex_garroter234]

[u know u want his friendship, steph, don't deny your feelings

He can't help it -- he laughs. It's pretty short and almost a scoff. (It might be a scoff.)]

Does it cause you such contention not to know my name?

[secondchances]

If I say yes, will you tell me your name?

[This is like a bad twist to some stupid romance. It's supposed to be a HOT Italian guy who doesn't tell you his name, after being all dashing and shit. Not this ass who throws you into the pond and is super creepy :( WHY, LIFE.]

[ex_garroter234]

[WELCOME TO PARADISA, everything is horrible and wrong

He actually seems to consider this for a moment. It's possible this is all some elaborate ruse and he's being led to some torture chamber to bleed out Borgia secrets, but ... well, they'd have already known his name if that were the case, right? He kind of just wants to go to sleep; this has been a trying day.]

Micheletto.

[secondchances]

[Progress! He could be lying, of course, but Steph will take it.]

Micheletto. See, that wasn't too hard.

[Into the castle they go. Ooooh, aaah.]

[ex_garroter234]

[He's seen more impressive castles, you know!! Still, he takes a moment to gaze at the ceiling.]

I am to live here?

[secondchances]

You'll find a room with your name on it, somewhere. I'd start on the main stairs there, then check the towers.

You could live in the city, if you wanted, but this is the most convenient.

[ex_garroter234]

Yes, I imagine it would be. [He'll take the city thing under advisement, though ...]

Thank you. I will go now.

[LOOK HE SAID THANK YOU finally. it's something alright]

[secondchances]

[ohthankyougod]

You're welcome. Take it easy, Micheletto.

[She'll wait for him to leave before going >:( ]

[ex_garroter234]

[SO DISTRUSTING, STEPH... but yeah, he kind of skulks away. What a creep...]