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[i_got_this]

Who: North ol_northy and South i_got_this Dakotas
What: DRAMADRAMADRAMA
When: The wee hours of the night/morning after North's arrival
Where: Norths' room
Rating: R because South's a pottymouth and drunk. And South. Also H for heartbreaking and Y for YWOULDYOUEVEN

South had told Carolina time and time again that she didn't know what to do if North had ever shown up, and his sudden appearance proved her right. Their initial conversation had been cut short, South weighted down with unhappy knowledge and personal demons that proved to be too great for her to confront at that moment. She'd cut out as soon as she could and sought out Crowley, who had helped to get her shit-faced drunk to try and come to terms with her twin's presence and what to do about the 'things' she knew.

She must have passed out there, and he must have demon'd her back, because she had awoken in her own room, a bottle of something still clutched in her hand and a sudden realization that she felt - in this drunken madness - she should do. She had to tell him. It would continue to eat at her, cloud her every waking moment.

Staggering her way through the castle, she eventually finds his room (which, fortunately or unfortuantely, depending on how one looked at it, was only a floor down and a few rooms over from hers), and leans on the door for support while she bangs on it, loud and desperate.

"North! North wake up! You here or are- are you somewhere else?"

Comments

[i_got_this]

"Out inna minte." She calls from the bathroom, before closing the door and going about getting sick, among other more regular morning routines. If she thought she could have made it back to her room, she probably would have been gone.

It's just a quick shower (she didn't use all the shampoo), and she's wished up fresh clothes as well. She calls out as she finishes towling off her hair, "You decent?"

[ol_northy]

"Yes, I'm decent." There's just a hintof sarcasm there, because he's not that awake yet anyway. If she's up and about, maybe she's feeling a bit less like death warmed over.

"Do you want breakfast, or is your stomach trying to get you from the inside out?"

[i_got_this]

She opens the door and drops the towel onto the bathroom floor.

"It tried, but I defeated it. I'm fucking starved." She walks in and flops in rhe bed, still a little gingerly but with more enthusiasm then the previous night.

[ol_northy]

He glances over to the bathroom as he gets to his feet. It's a good time to stretch his now stiff arms and back.

"Did you hang up the towel?"

[i_got_this]

She gives him a look, since it should be pretty obvious.

"Did you see me hang up the goddamn towel?"

[ol_northy]

He doesn't bother giving her a look, heading straight to the kitchen.

"Hang up the goddamn towel, South."

[i_got_this]

She lets out a huff and drags herself back to the bathroom.

"Fine I'll hang up the goddamn towel." Which she does, or rather just flips it over the curtain rod before going back to sit on the bed.

"Why is your room so fucking tiny?" She asks as she finally looks around at the space.

[ol_northy]

Damn it, South. Seriously. You can't do one nice thing for your brother. But still...

"Thank you." For trying. Which doesn't really mean much when the towel slides off the shower curtain rod and lands on the floor again. Were he a lesser man, he'd roll his eyes.

"It's not tiny. It's big enough for me, and that's all I really need. I feel kinda spoiled after, what, a few dozen months sleeping on rocks and in jeeps?"

[i_got_this]

"What the hell were you doing sleeping on rocks?"

She glances over at him, genuinely confused by the comment.

[ol_northy]

"What's the last thing you remember from home?"

As he sets about digging through the well-stocked fridge, pulling out eggs, bacon, cheese, the works. Breakfast sandwiches with just the right amount of salt, and more bacon than they probably need.

[i_got_this]

She goes quiet, watching him assemble breakfast. It had been too much to hope these sorts of questions wouldn't pop up.

"Just after the Sarcophagus mission." She still couldn't keep the envy out of her voice, pride stinging again that she'd been left out of it

[ol_northy]

A quiet sigh. This isn't exactly how he wanted this to go, but it's best to work it out sooner rather than later. It was an ugly mission, that one, and she knows of the fallout, he hopes. But what else has she heard?

"Do you know about Tex? About the Alpha?"

[i_got_this]

"Tex kicking Carolina down to spot two, yeah." She disliked Tex on principal, but at that point in time it had been nice to see Carolina knocked down a notch. "I don’t know about the Alpha. Is that … one of the AI things?”

Her tone drops as she asks, side-eyeing North as she starts to wonder if he’s got Theta with him. She figures it’s probably too much to hope that the AI was his loss.

[ol_northy]

Too much to hope, yeah. Theta’s there, quietly observing, trying--failing--not to pry.

“The Alpha... It’s where they all came from. Long story short, Tex went after it. She’s an AI, too, and you didn’t really like her being a traitor. You and I had a nice little shooting match before we went on the run for a while, so, rocks and jeeps.”

A deep breath, but he puts the bacon in the pan without missing a beat.

[i_got_this]

She listens quietly, intently, tensing slightly as she worries that this is the moment in their timelines that she turns, but -- it doesn't sound like it.

"On the run? We were on the run with Texas?" She sounds genuinely confused, since it didn't really fit in with what little details she'd been told.

[ol_northy]

"No, not with her. Just the two of us. The Director was a messed-up guy. I wasn't letting either of us stay in that situation." And of course he means her, he wouldn't let her be put through that. He wouldn't leave without her. Another breath there, and he's silent, thoughtful, until the bacon is done.

"South, I don't know all the details. But I think you know what happened."

He was killed by Maine. Or something like that. It's fuzzy. He knows he died, and that's that. He knows she can't fill in the gaps for him.

[i_got_this]

She swallows thickly, a cold guilt cutting through her gut. She'd made the internal decision not to tell him and apparently it hadn't even mattered.

South can't reply. For several long moments she just sits, tense, while she tries to bottle up emotions that are starting to roil to the top, taking deep, measured breaths to still the panic tightening in her chest.

But it's no use, she can feel herself losing the internal battle at the thought of having this conversation with North, and she suddenly shoots to her feet and immediately makes for the door. She might be muttering something about not being able to do this, but it's with a tight and soft voice.

[ol_northy]

Not exactly the reaction he expected, but the food is abandoned for a moment as he calls out in a firm voice.

"South, stop."

She knows he died. She's had time to deal with it. But he can't say it, not so easily. He doesn't expect her to react violently, to such an extreme as to run away.

"It wasn't your fault. Wash told me what happened. It was Maine who was after us."

[i_got_this]

She stops at the door, dropping her head and curling her hands into fists. Anyone else she would have just ignored and kept going.

And just when she thinks this is it, they're going to have this discussion and she really will lose him forever, his words sink in. There's a small nugget of relief, which she keeps to herself. He doesn't know it really is her fault.

But it didn't change the fact that it happened at all, and that pain wasn't going away either and was very real and visible at the moment. She cants her head slightly toward him, without looking up, forcing words out to kill the awful silence.

"Yeah. They told me, too." It's not enough, she's still feeling unsettled and on edge, and can't hold herself back from giving the door a healthy, wood-creaking kick. "Goddamnit this is such bullshit!"

[ol_northy]

"Calm down. It's day two, and I don't want to have to wish this place back together just yet."

North sets the food aside, leaving it for the moment and crossing the room to stand beside his sister. He doesn't blame her for his death, doesn't blame her for trying to shoot Tex, either. He can't blame her for being headstrong, arrogant, completely caught up in her own world. South is who she is, and she'll always be his little sister. If anyone can understand her, it's him.

Only right now? He has no idea what's going on in her head. He feels like he does, but the words and actions don't necessarily match up. Something's wrong, something's still not being said. He lets it go. He has to.

One hand rests on her shoulder, and his instincts kick in. He pulls her close, embracing her.

[i_got_this]

What's not being said will, with any hope, never be said, but while it's something North might be able to let go of, South probably never will. Carrying something like this will - has - changed her, from who North thought he knew. Subtly, not completely, but the ten months has stretched and pulled at her, and his presence even now is teaching her she's going to have to be careful about what she says.

That doesn't stop her from taking comfort from him when he offers it, and she gives him no resistance when he draws her close, burying her head into his chest and breaking down in great, gulping sobs, clutching at his shirt.

[ol_northy]

There are a lot of things in life that ought to remain unspoken, especially in their lives. The project... maybe he shouldn't have said so much. Maybe he's made a grave mistake. But she's Agent South Dakota, she can take it, and he's going to be sure of that. Breaking his heart is what she does best, though, and even now he's not sure he can take it. Every once in a while, South really loses it, and those times--when it's justified, when he knows it's real pain and not something of her own creation, her jealousy, her rage--are the hardest moments of his life. There's an empathy between them, some kind of connection that started in the womb and can never be severed.

One hand rests at the back of her head, and he holds her close as she lets loose all the anger, sorrow, frustration that she's probably been holding in for months.

"I'm sorry."

[i_got_this]

She tenses, tightening her grip somewhat, at his words. She should be saying it, she should saying it, but that would be an admission and a crack of a door she wasn't about to open, so she focuses on just purging the emotion for now, shedding the weight of it without the words.

She may break his heart with these moments, but it was these times that his quiet strength and steadying presence mended hers.

[ol_northy]

It's funny that he's the one with all the calm strength, the one who's always solid and steady. Five minutes older, and worlds apart from her. With soft words, he reassures her, it's okay, it'll be okay, he's here, and she's stronger than she knows.

He wishes he could say he missed her, something to make things even, giving her a reason to feel truly reassured. There's a little flash of that hazy memory of his last moments, fleeting worry about Theta, and whether or not she'd be okay without him. Ten months. Ten months she's made it, and he's proud of her.

[i_got_this]

She eventually quiets, continuing to lean against him until she feels confident enough again that she can hold it together. She leans back, reaching up to press the heel of her palm to her eyes one by one to wipe away the tears.

"I think I'm ready for breakfast now." It's quiet, an attempt and lightness after the whole release, as well as a distraction from the meatier issues.