Dirk hadn't really meant for it to sting, but he wasn't trying to filter himself, either. The words were coming how they came, and for someone who was usually pretty blunt under normal circumstances, it was probably worse now with his heightened emotions. He was getting so many mixed messages that it made it hard to really get a sense just how Jane felt. She'd yelled, said things that made him feel like shit, and then denied the fact she resented him? The longer this went on, the worse the whiplash became, but he was trying to be patient and not let his feelings get the better of him.
As she went on, one thing was certain. He couldn't deny that Jake had handled it badly. Jake wasn't exactly known for his tact or his brains, and Dirk had no trouble believing the things that Jane said. That didn't change the fact that he was still upset though, for a multitude of reasons. Partly at himself, because having it all laid out for him, he couldn't understand his thought processes behind everything, specifically the party. He couldn't fathom why he had decided to skip out on her party.
He wasn't to blame for everything else, though. At least... not from his current perspective. It seemed clear that he hadn't known just how upset Jane had been about everything, and this was a two-way street. Dirk couldn't have known how Jane was feeling, and she hadn't ever told him any of this stuff. So how was he supposed to know? And yet she had blamed it all on him and yelled at him for it. That wasn't fucking cool, in his opinion. Not at all. If she had confided in him, things would probably have turned out differently. He could have done something- what, he didn't know. But something.
"And you never once thought to talk to me about it?" he asked, his voice getting more of an edge to it, as the feelings of hurt started coming back to him at the thought. "I wouldn't have pushed you away. I wouldn't have been upset. I don't exactly know what I would have done, considering I still don't know all of what I was thinking during all of that, but I know myself well enough to know it probably would have turned out so much better if you hadn't withheld everything!" He clenched his fists again, because once more he was getting worked up. "I'm not responsible for Jake's actions and you can't hold them against me- and you can't fucking tell me that you haven't held it against me, because if you didn't, it would not have been ME you exploded at. It would be him!"
Dirk thought he had been over the most of his feelings, that he was calming down, but apparently he was far more bitter about it than he had initially thought, now that he was hearing the whole story from start to finish. "I'll tell you what though, I'm responsible for my own actions. But you never gave me the opportunity to do anything. I clearly didn't know how you were feeling, because you never stopped and said 'Hey Dirk, this is what's up.' And why, because you were afraid of hurting my feelings? Really? Because it sounds like you were just scared to face the fucking situation itself!"
He was being harsh. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that, but he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth regardless.
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As she went on, one thing was certain. He couldn't deny that Jake had handled it badly. Jake wasn't exactly known for his tact or his brains, and Dirk had no trouble believing the things that Jane said. That didn't change the fact that he was still upset though, for a multitude of reasons. Partly at himself, because having it all laid out for him, he couldn't understand his thought processes behind everything, specifically the party. He couldn't fathom why he had decided to skip out on her party.
He wasn't to blame for everything else, though. At least... not from his current perspective. It seemed clear that he hadn't known just how upset Jane had been about everything, and this was a two-way street. Dirk couldn't have known how Jane was feeling, and she hadn't ever told him any of this stuff. So how was he supposed to know? And yet she had blamed it all on him and yelled at him for it. That wasn't fucking cool, in his opinion. Not at all. If she had confided in him, things would probably have turned out differently. He could have done something- what, he didn't know. But something.
"And you never once thought to talk to me about it?" he asked, his voice getting more of an edge to it, as the feelings of hurt started coming back to him at the thought. "I wouldn't have pushed you away. I wouldn't have been upset. I don't exactly know what I would have done, considering I still don't know all of what I was thinking during all of that, but I know myself well enough to know it probably would have turned out so much better if you hadn't withheld everything!" He clenched his fists again, because once more he was getting worked up. "I'm not responsible for Jake's actions and you can't hold them against me- and you can't fucking tell me that you haven't held it against me, because if you didn't, it would not have been ME you exploded at. It would be him!"
Dirk thought he had been over the most of his feelings, that he was calming down, but apparently he was far more bitter about it than he had initially thought, now that he was hearing the whole story from start to finish. "I'll tell you what though, I'm responsible for my own actions. But you never gave me the opportunity to do anything. I clearly didn't know how you were feeling, because you never stopped and said 'Hey Dirk, this is what's up.' And why, because you were afraid of hurting my feelings? Really? Because it sounds like you were just scared to face the fucking situation itself!"
He was being harsh. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that, but he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth regardless.