paradisalogs | Run little girl, as fast as you can.

Entry tags:

Run little girl, as fast as you can.

Who: River, anyone but eventually Simon
What: River runs through the castle, exploring the two place and getting to know the world with her feet.
When: Most of Monday 3/18
Where: basically everywhere she ca get into.
Rating: PG

River is running.She's not running from anything, she's just running. Her feet drag her through the castle, racing up and down hallways and through the library and anywhere else her body decides to go.

She's grinning wide and when she's not actively ruing, she's dancing her way through the rooms and corridors.

Since she arrived, it's been a decent few days. She's found places to find and people to trust and people who may not be trustworthy but are interesting.

Which, while not perfect, is good enough for her.

She'll eventually find herself at Simon's door, having run around for most of the day, but that won't be until late in the night. She'll stand there for a while, unsure of the proper ways to enter the room of the man who should be her brother.

Eventually, she'll just enter, pushing open the door and, if he's not there, she'll settle on his bed, closing her eyes and just existing amongst his things until he gets back.

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She hears him at the door but doesn't move. His mind screams out with hesitation, with uncertain and heartache. If he doesn't want to see her, she'll let him walk away.

But he doesn't, he comes closer, joins her on the bed and a part of her relaxes a little. She doesn't know him, she doesn't understand why he's upset, but a part of her, a small, quiet part, feels the need to have his acceptance, even if she knows she will never be the person he needs and he won't ever fill the hole in her memory where he should be.

She rises slowly, seemingly awoken by his hand in her hair. "hello," she greets, her voice soft. She studies him, a smile tugging at her lips.

"I didn't know if you'd come."

Of course it was a lie, she knew he would, new he would return eventually because this is his space, but it seemed polite to say. It was giving him a chance to back out somehow, to walk away if that's what he wanted.

"I'll always come back for you," Simon assures her quietly, continuing to stroke her hair. He's feeling so many mixed emotions right now- anger at the castle for doing this to him, love for his sister, confusion about what path he should take now- but having her here is the most important thing right now.

"Just like you'll always find me. No matter how hard things try to pull us apart."

She feels the whirlwind of emotion, of conflicting thoughts and it makes her head spin a little but she tries not to show it, instead pressing up against him, as if somehow that alone will make things better.

And maybe it did once, maybe she was able to find solace in his touch, comfort in his words, but all she can find now is conflict, uncertainty and grief.

"Find each other," she says softly. "Finding lost girls and ghost boys. Finding each other in the mist."

She looks up at him, smiling just a little ad moving to brush a strand of hair away. "We'll find each other again somehow."

"Always," Simon promises. "Even if the old memories are gone, we're going to make new memories while we're here. I won't be a ghost any more. I'll become something solid. As long as you trust me. And there are a lot of good people here to help you when... if it ever gets to be too hard for you."

Simon hates the idea of asking for help, wants to tackle this problem on his own- feels like he should, in fact- but he realizes this is bigger than him, not something he could or should face on his own.

She closes her eyes, lets his words wrap around her, pull her down into the dark. Trust, he wants her to trust hi and while shes not sure she can, there's a part of her that wants to so desperately, wants that need inside her filled.

She opens her eyes again and nods her head. "Trust you," she murmurs. "Trust you'll have the light, trust you won't get us lost."

She moves, taking his hand in hers, tracing it's lines with her fingers. "my brother saved me, now it's time that I have faith enough that he'll come back." She moves, kissing his cheek and looking at him expectantly.

Simon blushes softly at the kiss, but feels a warm glow inside of him- the glow of love, beginning to overwhelm the other emotions, spreading inside him.

"I don't think it will be easy," he tells her softly. "But it will be worth it. As long as you trust me, we can make it through this."

"Easy is boring," she says, her tone light. "Easy wouldn't be worth chasing after."

And if he is her brother, then he would be worth the struggle. He would be worth the fight through her mind, the forging of bonds the..everything. He would be worth it.

And maybe she'll have to remind herself of that sometimes, maybe she'll have to come to him or to some of hte people they both know and have hem tell her again, but she will.

"That's true," Simon agrees softly. "And it's not like I haven't dealt with difficulty before."

Even if some of the details are unclear, he adds mentally- because he knows there are gaps in his memory, gaps having to do with River and how he was able to help her after everything went to hell.

"...Do you want to stay with me tonight?" he asks tentatively. "You can sleep in my bed if you want."

He'd dearly love if he was curled up with her, but he doesn't want to ask that aloud, not sure if she's ready for that level of physical closeness when he's still a stranger to her- and, Simon has to admit to himself, he's not sure if he's ready, either.

She nods her head, one hand moving to brush his face lightly. it's an intimate gesture, one meant to assure hi, to comfort him and promise that one day, things will be as they once were, whole again.

The offer leaves her silent, unsure of what to say. She can't be sure whether staying is a good idea, for her or for him. She wants to say yes, want's to learn what it's like to be close to this man, but it feels strange all the same.

"I can sleep wherever you want," she says after a beat. "I'm very adaptable.|

Simon almost wants to start crying from her touch- from that, and from merely seeing River, hearing her voice, after 6 months that may as well have been a lifetime, from the knowledge that there is a long, hard road ahead of them.

"I'll sleep on the floor," he finally says quietly. "I can wish for something to sleep on. And you can come into my room whenever you want. This will be your safe place."

She nods her head, her fingers still moving against his skin, tracing the lines of him, memorizing him by touch and scent and the feeling of his mind.

"I'll find you," she assures. "And you'll find me." She smiles just a little. "We\ll learn to fit together gain..|

Simon places his hands on the side of his sister's head, looking into her eyes, resolving then and there to do everything he could to find a way to remove the block on her mind, the empty space where he once was.

He then leans in and softly kisses her forehead.

"Sleep," he whispers. "We've got a lot of work ahead of us."

She smiles a little, studying is face and nodding her head. "You too. Dream sweet."

She densest pull away until he does and then she curls up in the bed, closing her eyes and letting herself sink into his thoughts.

And Simon pulls a chair up to the bed and watches River sleep for a while, knowing he probably won't be getting much sleep himself tonight, before he finally finds himself leaning against the bed and dozing off- which is where she will still find him, fast asleep, the next morning.

She stirs, waking up slowly for once. It's a strange thing, to not be woken with nightmares but the castle filled her head with thought,s pushing out her own in the night.

Staring at him for a moment, he smiles softly, shaking her head and slipping out from under the covers. She doesn't wake him, not at first. Instead she takes the time to look at how he fits with the rest of the room, how he's a perfect match to everything else in here.

Finally, she moves close to him again, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder, an attempt to gently rouse him so he an, at the very least, get on the bed properly.

Simon moans softly, but it's a moment before he stirs awake, wondering briefly why he feels a little uncomfortable before remembering... yes.

He opens his eyes, sits up, and gives his sister a small, weary smile.

"Did you sleep well?" he asks, his voice a groggy murmur.

"Well enough," she informs. Then she proceeds to tug lightly at him, her gaze going between her brother and the bed.

"You should go to bed."

Simon is rubbing his eyes tiredly as she says this, then stops and shakes his head.

"...I'm fi-" He then stops himself, because, well, there's no point in lying to her, he realizes. "... Okay. I'll sleep a little more. I don't have to work until later, anyway..."

He stands up, stretching his cramped muscles some more, before quickly changing into his pajamas, sitting back down next to his sister, smiling softly at her.

"Are you going to stay with me?"

She considers the question, then nods. It's safe where she is, peaceful and although he doesn't feel like her brother, she can feel that she feels like his sister.

"If it's all right." She knows it will be but she's giving him a chance to say no, just in case.

"Always." He then pulls back the covers and climbs in beside her without further hesitation, feeling strangely content after the whirlwind of emotions of the previous evening. "I just want you to feel comfortable and happy, River. That's all I could ever desire."

She nods, curling up next to him and getting comfortable. "I can try," she says quietly. "Not great at being happy tut I can always try."

"I know, meimei."

He accompanies his words with a soft kiss on her forehead. It's the first time he's used that affectionate term for her, hoping it will spark something inside of her, even though he knows things that are lost can't be recovered so easily.

Simon then closes his eyes.

"Nobody can be perfect or happy all of the time. All we can do is try our best- and know that no matter what happens, if we have good days or bad days, if it sometimes doesn't work... I will love you just as much as I always have, from the first moment I held you."

She nods her head, listening to his words and letting them wrap around her. There's so much love there, so much care and honesty that it makes her want to cry. She wants to be what this man needs, wants to give him his sister back but she doesn't think she can,.

"You're a good man," she says quietly, nesting close. "You are always worth remembering."

Even if she can't, even if he's lost to her forever, he has to know that she didn't do it intentionally.

"Thank you, River," Simon whispers, already beginning to feel himself drifting off again. He was tired, bone-weary, but as usual, taking care of- worrying about- River had come first. Had to.

But this time, his own tiredness is making him fall asleep right here, as much as he tries to stop it.

"I love you," he murmurs, his voice thick.

She moves, kissing him on the forehead, lingering there afterward. "Sleep," she whispers against his skin. She knows he's tired and knows he needs it. She'll be there until he stirs again and they can try learning how to be a family.

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Run little girl, as fast as you can.

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