paradisalogs | Run little girl, as fast as you can.

Entry tags:

Run little girl, as fast as you can.

Who: River, anyone but eventually Simon
What: River runs through the castle, exploring the two place and getting to know the world with her feet.
When: Most of Monday 3/18
Where: basically everywhere she ca get into.
Rating: PG

River is running.She's not running from anything, she's just running. Her feet drag her through the castle, racing up and down hallways and through the library and anywhere else her body decides to go.

She's grinning wide and when she's not actively ruing, she's dancing her way through the rooms and corridors.

Since she arrived, it's been a decent few days. She's found places to find and people to trust and people who may not be trustworthy but are interesting.

Which, while not perfect, is good enough for her.

She'll eventually find herself at Simon's door, having run around for most of the day, but that won't be until late in the night. She'll stand there for a while, unsure of the proper ways to enter the room of the man who should be her brother.

Eventually, she'll just enter, pushing open the door and, if he's not there, she'll settle on his bed, closing her eyes and just existing amongst his things until he gets back.

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Simon was indeed not there when River made her appearance in his room- he'd been spending a lot of time at the clinics, out walking, taking his meals out of his room, anything to avoid being there, trying to delay the inevitable as long as possible. He both did and didn't want to see his sister- his heart was crushed enough by her words on his journal, by the realization that he had been her price to come to Paradisa, and he wasn't sure he could take seeing a River to whom he was a stranger.

All he had wanted since she had vanished shortly after his own arrival was to see her again- to hold her in his arms, to comfort her when she was scared and confused, to laugh with her during those moments she was her old self again, to find out once again what had been done to her, to start fixing it. Well, he had gotten what he wanted- it had just never occurred to him that it would be this way.

Be careful what you wish for, he thought bitterly.

He was unsurprised when he came back to his room on Monday to find her seemingly asleep on his bed. He thought about just leaving her be, finding somewhere else to spend the night, but seeing her in person and not just hearing her voice filled his heart with something he wasn't really expecting in these circumstances- love.

He still loved River. That much was completely certain at that moment. Their relationship may never be the same, not as long as she was here, not until they could both go home, or somehow she regained knowledge of him and paid a different price, but Simon still loved her.

So he crossed the room, sat down next to her and began gently running his fingers through her hair.

She hears him at the door but doesn't move. His mind screams out with hesitation, with uncertain and heartache. If he doesn't want to see her, she'll let him walk away.

But he doesn't, he comes closer, joins her on the bed and a part of her relaxes a little. She doesn't know him, she doesn't understand why he's upset, but a part of her, a small, quiet part, feels the need to have his acceptance, even if she knows she will never be the person he needs and he won't ever fill the hole in her memory where he should be.

She rises slowly, seemingly awoken by his hand in her hair. "hello," she greets, her voice soft. She studies him, a smile tugging at her lips.

"I didn't know if you'd come."

Of course it was a lie, she knew he would, new he would return eventually because this is his space, but it seemed polite to say. It was giving him a chance to back out somehow, to walk away if that's what he wanted.

"I'll always come back for you," Simon assures her quietly, continuing to stroke her hair. He's feeling so many mixed emotions right now- anger at the castle for doing this to him, love for his sister, confusion about what path he should take now- but having her here is the most important thing right now.

"Just like you'll always find me. No matter how hard things try to pull us apart."

She feels the whirlwind of emotion, of conflicting thoughts and it makes her head spin a little but she tries not to show it, instead pressing up against him, as if somehow that alone will make things better.

And maybe it did once, maybe she was able to find solace in his touch, comfort in his words, but all she can find now is conflict, uncertainty and grief.

"Find each other," she says softly. "Finding lost girls and ghost boys. Finding each other in the mist."

She looks up at him, smiling just a little ad moving to brush a strand of hair away. "We'll find each other again somehow."

"Always," Simon promises. "Even if the old memories are gone, we're going to make new memories while we're here. I won't be a ghost any more. I'll become something solid. As long as you trust me. And there are a lot of good people here to help you when... if it ever gets to be too hard for you."

Simon hates the idea of asking for help, wants to tackle this problem on his own- feels like he should, in fact- but he realizes this is bigger than him, not something he could or should face on his own.

She closes her eyes, lets his words wrap around her, pull her down into the dark. Trust, he wants her to trust hi and while shes not sure she can, there's a part of her that wants to so desperately, wants that need inside her filled.

She opens her eyes again and nods her head. "Trust you," she murmurs. "Trust you'll have the light, trust you won't get us lost."

She moves, taking his hand in hers, tracing it's lines with her fingers. "my brother saved me, now it's time that I have faith enough that he'll come back." She moves, kissing his cheek and looking at him expectantly.

Simon blushes softly at the kiss, but feels a warm glow inside of him- the glow of love, beginning to overwhelm the other emotions, spreading inside him.

"I don't think it will be easy," he tells her softly. "But it will be worth it. As long as you trust me, we can make it through this."

"Easy is boring," she says, her tone light. "Easy wouldn't be worth chasing after."

And if he is her brother, then he would be worth the struggle. He would be worth the fight through her mind, the forging of bonds the..everything. He would be worth it.

And maybe she'll have to remind herself of that sometimes, maybe she'll have to come to him or to some of hte people they both know and have hem tell her again, but she will.

"That's true," Simon agrees softly. "And it's not like I haven't dealt with difficulty before."

Even if some of the details are unclear, he adds mentally- because he knows there are gaps in his memory, gaps having to do with River and how he was able to help her after everything went to hell.

"...Do you want to stay with me tonight?" he asks tentatively. "You can sleep in my bed if you want."

He'd dearly love if he was curled up with her, but he doesn't want to ask that aloud, not sure if she's ready for that level of physical closeness when he's still a stranger to her- and, Simon has to admit to himself, he's not sure if he's ready, either.

She nods her head, one hand moving to brush his face lightly. it's an intimate gesture, one meant to assure hi, to comfort him and promise that one day, things will be as they once were, whole again.

The offer leaves her silent, unsure of what to say. She can't be sure whether staying is a good idea, for her or for him. She wants to say yes, want's to learn what it's like to be close to this man, but it feels strange all the same.

"I can sleep wherever you want," she says after a beat. "I'm very adaptable.|

Simon almost wants to start crying from her touch- from that, and from merely seeing River, hearing her voice, after 6 months that may as well have been a lifetime, from the knowledge that there is a long, hard road ahead of them.

"I'll sleep on the floor," he finally says quietly. "I can wish for something to sleep on. And you can come into my room whenever you want. This will be your safe place."

She nods her head, her fingers still moving against his skin, tracing the lines of him, memorizing him by touch and scent and the feeling of his mind.

"I'll find you," she assures. "And you'll find me." She smiles just a little. "We\ll learn to fit together gain..|

Simon places his hands on the side of his sister's head, looking into her eyes, resolving then and there to do everything he could to find a way to remove the block on her mind, the empty space where he once was.

He then leans in and softly kisses her forehead.

"Sleep," he whispers. "We've got a lot of work ahead of us."

She smiles a little, studying is face and nodding her head. "You too. Dream sweet."

She densest pull away until he does and then she curls up in the bed, closing her eyes and letting herself sink into his thoughts.

And Simon pulls a chair up to the bed and watches River sleep for a while, knowing he probably won't be getting much sleep himself tonight, before he finally finds himself leaning against the bed and dozing off- which is where she will still find him, fast asleep, the next morning.

She stirs, waking up slowly for once. It's a strange thing, to not be woken with nightmares but the castle filled her head with thought,s pushing out her own in the night.

Staring at him for a moment, he smiles softly, shaking her head and slipping out from under the covers. She doesn't wake him, not at first. Instead she takes the time to look at how he fits with the rest of the room, how he's a perfect match to everything else in here.

Finally, she moves close to him again, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder, an attempt to gently rouse him so he an, at the very least, get on the bed properly.

Simon moans softly, but it's a moment before he stirs awake, wondering briefly why he feels a little uncomfortable before remembering... yes.

He opens his eyes, sits up, and gives his sister a small, weary smile.

"Did you sleep well?" he asks, his voice a groggy murmur.

"Well enough," she informs. Then she proceeds to tug lightly at him, her gaze going between her brother and the bed.

"You should go to bed."

Simon is rubbing his eyes tiredly as she says this, then stops and shakes his head.

"...I'm fi-" He then stops himself, because, well, there's no point in lying to her, he realizes. "... Okay. I'll sleep a little more. I don't have to work until later, anyway..."

He stands up, stretching his cramped muscles some more, before quickly changing into his pajamas, sitting back down next to his sister, smiling softly at her.

"Are you going to stay with me?"

She considers the question, then nods. It's safe where she is, peaceful and although he doesn't feel like her brother, she can feel that she feels like his sister.

"If it's all right." She knows it will be but she's giving him a chance to say no, just in case.

"Always." He then pulls back the covers and climbs in beside her without further hesitation, feeling strangely content after the whirlwind of emotions of the previous evening. "I just want you to feel comfortable and happy, River. That's all I could ever desire."

She nods, curling up next to him and getting comfortable. "I can try," she says quietly. "Not great at being happy tut I can always try."

"I know, meimei."

He accompanies his words with a soft kiss on her forehead. It's the first time he's used that affectionate term for her, hoping it will spark something inside of her, even though he knows things that are lost can't be recovered so easily.

Simon then closes his eyes.

"Nobody can be perfect or happy all of the time. All we can do is try our best- and know that no matter what happens, if we have good days or bad days, if it sometimes doesn't work... I will love you just as much as I always have, from the first moment I held you."

She nods her head, listening to his words and letting them wrap around her. There's so much love there, so much care and honesty that it makes her want to cry. She wants to be what this man needs, wants to give him his sister back but she doesn't think she can,.

"You're a good man," she says quietly, nesting close. "You are always worth remembering."

Even if she can't, even if he's lost to her forever, he has to know that she didn't do it intentionally.

"Thank you, River," Simon whispers, already beginning to feel himself drifting off again. He was tired, bone-weary, but as usual, taking care of- worrying about- River had come first. Had to.

But this time, his own tiredness is making him fall asleep right here, as much as he tries to stop it.

"I love you," he murmurs, his voice thick.

She moves, kissing him on the forehead, lingering there afterward. "Sleep," she whispers against his skin. She knows he's tired and knows he needs it. She'll be there until he stirs again and they can try learning how to be a family.

Frodo has taken to walks along the hallway at night when the dreams bother him or more so the lack of them. Once he dreamed of rolling green hills and brightly-colored round doors and the hum of the sun in the air and the tickling grass under his feet. Now he can only remember the words to describe them but they ring empty.

So it seems strange to him, unfathomable, that this young woman could be dancing with so much joy. That seems a strange and distant thought now. Not wishing to disturb her, he hovers by a pillar, wanting to be unseen so she would not stop.

Unfortunately, she is a keen observer as well as as a good dancer. She notices hi but doesn't make a move to approach, not yet. She can feel his desire to remain unseen ad she respects that for a time.

But soon enough, she moves towards his hiding spot, dancing with the grace she's possessed since childhood. Approaching him, she tilts her head to the side, offering out her hands and wearing a hopefuls mile.

He sees no reason to fear her at least, watching her move closer with some interest. She dances with as much as grace as she has seen from the elves. It's remarkable. The offered hand still takes him by surprise. Does she mean for him to join her? He isn't the best dancer, not when it isn't for silly rhymes and drinking songs.

He reaches to take it anyway, holding her fingers loosely.

"Don't worry," she whispered to him as she pulled him forward. "I'll lead."

And she does, slowly so he can follow her paces as she dances them around. She looks absolutely delighted to have a partner and she doesn't try and hide it.

It isn't the girl that he is afraid of, no matter that she is still much taller than him, and dancing doesn't seem to be much to be concerned about. The embarrassment would be, perhaps, but there is no one here to watch.

Frodo just smiles, a touch wan, and lets her lead. As she should.

She is happy to do so, pulling them across the floor and spinning them about every so often. She laughs, pleased to have a partner and when the music she seems to be dancing to slows, she moves, pressing a kiss against his cheek in thanks.

He hears no music, but she is an obliging teacher it seems, despite his many missteps. The kind of dancing he is more used to is less graceful. He doubts now that she would call it dancing.

The kiss takes him aback, placing a hand over where the warmth in his cheek spread. "Thank you," as if to translate her or to say so for himself.

She laughs, lapping her hands together and spinning once. "Thank you," she repeats, offering a courtesy.

Frodo is practically grinning ear to ear, even if that was probably meant as an end to the dance, so he turns to walk away, somewhat reluctant. He spares her a glance and a little wave as he goes!

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Run little girl, as fast as you can.

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