paradisalogs | But the ghosts that we knew {OPEN};

Entry tags:

But the ghosts that we knew {OPEN};

Who: Carolina and you!
What: Training at all hours of the day. Like sane people do. c:
When: 0400-1200 and 1400-2200 (the gym), 1200-1300 (the kitchen), 2200-2300 (the kitchen)
Where: The gym and the kitchen
Rating: PG-13 maybe for language and/or violence

[Most nights, Carolina couldn't sleep. The near-constant feeling of not being secure or safe enough to shut her eyes kept what adrenaline she had left pumping through her well enough to keep her awake. That said, she can't run on fumes all week long and when she does sleep, she dreams about home. About twin voices screaming her dead mother's name in her head, when plugging her ears only amplifies the sound. About a teammate taking two axes to the chest, from a soldier Carolina had never trusted, never wanted to trust. About another teammate grabbing her around the neck, yanking the AI chips from the back of her neck, tossing her from a cliff like a piece of garbage. About waiting in the snow. About never being good enough. About throwing a lighter.

It's one of those nights when her body forces her to sleep long enough to recharge enough of her battery to somewhat function, but the nightmares don't stay away. They never do. And she wakes up early, in a cold sweat, shaking, screaming. It's enough to keep her awake for another couple days, she hopes, that her body got enough to last her. Two days awake is always too short a time, but she can't get herself to stay awake longer and the four hours or so of sleep are always too long.

So, she's out of bed in an instant, tugging her armor on before all but sprinting down to the gym at 0400, needing a distraction and a purpose to her life.

Or what she could call a life in guilty conscience.]

(ooc: I will have open threads, just tag wherever! Just specify the time please so there can be multiple threads per location. c:

Current threads: South's is around noonish. Church's is before 1400. York's is at 1400. )

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[Carolina moves slowly along the hallway, gaze set on the elevator as she does. She doesn't want him there, she doesn't want the minimal bit of help that she's accepting, but she won't be able to get back to her room safely while her head hurts like this.]

Stand against the opposite wall. [She reaches out to jab the button for the elevator, barely resisting punching it a couple times.]

I will.

[Yeah, he's not happy to see her like this, but at least she's admitting that she needs help.

Sort of.]

[The elevator arrives and Carolina stands to the side with the buttons for floors, waiting for York. As much as she hates him, leaving him stranded on the 5th floor when she needs him to clear the lobby is a bad decision.]

[Right. Because he's allergic to stairs. Or because she's not thinking clearly, which is actually much more likely.

Yep. Going to be standing in the elevator awkwardly now.]

[Carolina doesn't look over at him and lets her peripheral vision do all the work right now to make sure he's in and standing far enough away before she hits the button for the lobby. It's not a long trip, but the gentle tug that comes with the end of the trip is almost enough to throw her balance again.

She manages, but she curses lightly under her breath and presses a hand to her eyebrows.] Dammit.

[Once the doors slide open, she grunts out,] Clear the lobby.

[...Ooookay, he thought she was going to the clinic.]

I'm going to need to ask you why, Carolina.

[Nope! She's planning on going back to her room to do some more work there, but more privately and where she might be able to get through this headache fast.

Her gaze barely flicks over to him, but it isn't angry. She doesn't have the energy for it right now.] Clear the lobby.

[...My god, Carolina, say please. it's not going to kill you. Still, York sighs and exits the elevator. After a few minutes--]

Clear.

[Carolina waits until he clears the lobby before she exits the elevator and makes the slow trek toward Gaudium Tower. A small part of her is a little confused that he's actually helping her in the way that she's demanding, but the rest of her is too dazed to care right now.]

[And he'll make sure she gets there safely. Not that there's really much in the castle that could interfere with her, but at least maybe she'll take a break from what he's sure is constant training. She needs about a week of sleep, and he's betting she won't get it.]

[As she nears the stairs, she pauses, feeling utterly exhausted by the pain still growing in her skull and everything that has been the past few months of her life. Everything that she'd had here in the Castle was gone, destroyed, and now things were threatening the past she'd had before the Project even.]

How do you know Allison? [Her voice is neutral, despite the strain.] Church said you know her.

[Well, that stops York for two reasons. She'd found Church already? Damn. Though on the other hand, she hasn't seized him or anything. But why is she asking him that? Some kind of new loss?]

Uh, well, we met when she wiped the training floor with me and Maine and Wyoming. You were there watching, remember? I got a grenade to the face?

[Carolina goes stiff where she's standing at the base of the stairs to Gaudium Tower.

No.

That can't be.

It--- nope, does not compute. That would mean that he slept with --- no. No. No.

It takes her a moment to breathe again and she shakes her head before starting to head up the stairs. He must be lying. That's what it has to be.] Texas isn't Allison.

Uh, that's her name. Is there another Allison you're thinking of? Cause she's the only one I know.

[Welp that sure would be awkward if he knew what she was thinking about.]

No, it isn't. [Because it's easier to just deny it as she goes up the stairs than think about it with her headache right now.]

I would know, Carolina. Hell, Church knows better than anyone. They've been dating for ages.

Which begs the question, why do you care? She's not here right now. [Can she really not take her mind off Tex for five minutes?]

[Carolina freezes on the stairs at that. Church had mentioned dating Allison. That had to mean that Texas was Allison.

Unless she wasn't. Because Carolina can't let herself think about that right now. The mention of "not here" riles her up further and her headache doubles.

Abort. Abort. ]

[That's not a good sign. What is it about that name that--

It's been teasing at the edge of his memory for days, especially since it's been years, but it finally dawns on York that Allison's name was the last thing she'd heard before her first collapse with her AIs. Maybe it had done something to her. Made her have a bad reaction to the name. Hell, maybe that's why she'd forgotten it was Tex in the first place. Trauma can do weird things to the human brain.

York puts a hand out to support her against the railing.]

Hey. It's okay. You're here in the castle, okay? Nothing's going to hurt you while I'm here.

[Carolina shakes her head again and swats at his hand before surging up the stairs. Time to get a door between them. That teeny bit of trust she'd been showing to clear areas seems to come second to her desire to get somewhere private.]

[He'll at least follow her to her door to make sure she doesn't fall down the stairs or anything.]

Just be careful, okay?

[Carolina outright ignores him and simply heads to her room, trying to get the door between him and her. The room beyond is little more than a bunk and a bathroom, starkly different from the apartment she'd had before.]

Edited (Accidental godmoding. :( bedtime ) 2013-05-06 04:54 (UTC)

[He sighs, but he'll let her go through. She might or might not be surprised to see the changes he's made in his own place lately.]

Take care of yourself, Carolina.

[He's probably talking to a closed door, but he has to say it anyway.

Doors can always open again.]

[Today, though, this door doesn't open again. It remains solidly shut between them as Carolina refuses to budge.]

[Well. There's always tomorrow. And the next day, and so on.]

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But the ghosts that we knew {OPEN};

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wrap?

sounds good!