paradisalogs | Delayed exploration

Who: The Master, Open
What: Exploring the castle properly
When: A day or so after being released from the Valentine's Day event
Where: Starting with the kitchen
Rating: G-PG

The Master knew the importance of being familiar with his surroundings. Normally, he would do extensive research on any planet that he intended to visit. Before landing, he would know where the safest shelters were, who was currently in power, who was seeking to take power, and who could be either bribed or coerced most easily. The Master always made sure to place his TARDIS somewhere that he could get to easily, for a quick escape.

Now, however, his TARDIS was completely out of reach and the Doctor himself had assured the Master that escape was impossible. No one seemed to be in power and few people seemed willing to change that fact. Bribery and coercion were still useful tools, should he need them, but only once he got to know the residents better. Likewise, his knowledge of the Castle, outside his bedroom, was almost nil! Other than lacking his TARDIS, this lack was the most unacceptable situation and, fortunately, the easiest to fix.

On his arrival, the Master had been told more than once that the kitchen was on the first floor. That seemed a reasonable place to begin his explorations. The Master wasn't particularly hungry, but decided he might as well examine things closely. This was a Castle with deep secrets and the Master intended to dig them out, one by one.

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"I'm as happy as I'll ever get, I guess," she replied wryly. "Of course, the castle likes to screw you over as soon as you start thinking that it 'can't be that bad.'"

"Yes, I was given a taste of it's idea of fun the past few days," the Master observed wryly. "I think I prefer to avoid holidays."

"That was mild, considering last year."

She pauses to take a gulp of her coffee. "Last year, we had mind-bending Valentines' Day candy."

"I'm pleased I missed that," the Master agreed, frowning. "Why do you think it does these things? I had the thought it was trying to produce mating pairs to increase the population."

"Unfortunately, the only answer that seems to fit is 'to screw with us.' And don't worry about the babies."

Her tone gets noticeably more irked. "The castle brings in toddlers for us to care for in May."

The Master was rarely surprised and almost never shocked, but that accomplished the latter nicely. He stared at the girl, horrified. As a constant traveler, villain, and, at this point in his timeline, bachelor, he had no intention of caring for infants!

"Brings in toddlers from where?"

"We never figured out if they were just some castle thing or if it actually brought in real kids. They definitely seemed real though."

She's slightly amused at the horrified look. "Not everybody got a baby, if that helps."

Just most people.

The Master grimaced.

"A psychotic five-year-old, indeed," the Master muttered. "My dear, there are at least two people in this castle who will tell you I am not suited to looking after children."

"Better bone up on some reading then. The castle won't let you just abandon the kid if you get one."

"Indeed?" the Master asked dryly. "What will it do, if I morally corrupt the child?"

She shrugs.

"I have no idea. You're more than welcome to try it and then tell me how it went. Then again, they're only around for about a week."

Not sure how much corruption he can fit in a week with children who have an attention span of a goldfish.

"A week? That makes no sense, though I'm grateful we're not forced to permanently adopt children."

"Everything it does to us seem to last for about a week. This one time it lasted for almost two weeks though."

Heh. "No, if we did, you'd see a lot more harassed residents running around. More than usual, I mean."

"Do any children, real children, reside here? Surely some of the residents will choose to settle down and raise families."

It was, after all, an instinct inherent in most species.

"There are kids here, but the castle brings them in. I don't think anybody has had an actual baby here."

She pauses, taking a sip before going on. "There was a wedding once, but that's about it. Settling down and having kids is kind of risky when you don't know if you'll sent home whenever the castle feels like it."

"True," the Master conceded, relaxing, now that it seemed he wouldn't be stuck with a child on a regular basis. "This castle's thought process is quite unique."

There's an amused smirk. "That's a polite way of putting it. Most people go for 'totally batshit insane.'"

The Master shook his head, a bit impatiently.

"There's no proof that it is insane. After all, why should it think like either of us? There's no proof it is corporeal, much less bipedal. It may have perfectly rational reasons for what it does."

"Reasons that only make sense if you're a magical castle? That really doesn't help at all."

She shrugs. "Then again, we're all blaming the castle for everything because nobody has actually stepped forward and taken the credit for all this. So maybe somebody's pulling the strings in the background?"

"Magical?" the Master asked, reprovingly. "Aren't you a bit old to believe in such things? But, yes, it's possible someone is controlling things from the background. Someone could be posing as a resident, changing disguises, ever so often. Anything is possible, really."

So deadpan. "Thanks. I'll go and crank up my levels of paranoia now."

She rolls her eyes. "When you can explain everything that happens here through science, I'll stop saying it's magic."

The Master chuckled.

"You'll stop sooner than you think, then," the Master assured her arrogantly. "My dear, a healthy level of paranoia is sensible no matter what your situation."

"A healthy one, yeah. Not one where I start suspecting people going around changing faces. Going crazy is not on my to-do list."

"Ah, but it's not paranoia, if it's a legitimate concern, is it? Some people are quite skilled at changing their faces. I have talent in that area myself. Disguises can be quite useful."

"So you're telling me to be scared of you?"

What the hell kind of strategy is that? Unless it's some kind of mental play. Or whatever.

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