paradisalogs | love ain't nothing

Entry tags:

love ain't nothing

Who: Felix and Ashura
What: Things can be a little confusing when you're a teenage prostitute with a lover you don't remember.
When: Evening of November 12th
Where: Their room
Rating: pg-13 for brief sexual things and possible profanity

Ever since Ashura had woken up and awoken him to his history in the castle, he'd been trying to sort it out in his mind. He couldn't deny it, but he couldn't exactly place himself into the shoes of the man everybody here seemed to know. A man who seemed to be educated and intelligent. A wizard, of all things. And a man who had a long running relationship with a man who wasn't even human.

Ashura cared about him, he was sure of that. And over the last few weeks had done his best to do right by him. Like Star, he'd been helpful and understanding. Unlike 'Star, however, was that everpresent look of sadness in his eyes.

He couldn't help but feel he was letting the man down by not being that other Felix. He felt guilty, too, for not being able to summon up that same feeling of love.

But Ashura made him want to find it.

He'd been spending more and more time at their rooms, as he'd gotten comfortable in Ashura's presence. Tonight wasn't the first time he'd slept over, so the routine was established. He'd bathed and brushed his hair. Put on the nightshirt he'd taken to wearing, then wandered back out to the bedroom where Ashura was waiting.

"Hey," he said, smiling shyly as he sat on the bed.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was strange, being around Felix as a boy. It was hard to imagine the man he knew as this child, who seemed... scared? No, not scared, but already world weary perhaps. It saddened him, knowing that the man he loved had such a hard childhood. It seemed even sadder when it was presented before his eyes. He tried not to think about it to much and just watch out for him, but it was hard nonetheless.

Ashura turned away from his armoire, setting down his hair brush, the black locks gleaming now. He was dressed simply in a red sleeping robe, his jewels gone and placed in their boxes - all except the ring Felix had given him, still in place on his finger.

"Hello. All showered and brushed?" he smiled at the now very much younger man.

He nodded silently, watching Ashura with something between awe and shy hesitance, seized with the faint desire to touch all that hair.

Ashura rose and came over to the bed, drawing back the thick covers and sliding in.

"Well, come on then," he chuckled and leaned over, blowing out his lamp before settling down, hair spilling over his shoulders and hips, soft black waves.

He lifted the blankets and slid underneath them as well, his body curled on the side to face Ashura but keeping a chaste foot or so between them.

"Thank you for lettin' me stay here," he said softly.

"It is no trouble Felix," he opened his eyes to look at the boy.

They would seem to glow softly with an inner light, bright in the dim. The sheets warmed as Ashura flowed his power through them, as he usually did, since neither of them was patient enough to wait for their natural body heat to warm them up.

"Let me know if the sheets get to warm," he hummed.

"It's good," he said. Melusine was never especially cold, but he'd gone more than one night huddled in piles of papers and cast off blankets, or shivering in threadbare sheets in his bed at the Shining Tiger, that this was beyond anything he'd ever imagined.

He reached out and found a length of Ashura's hair, idly running it through his fingers in a hand over hand motion.

Ashura did not protest, but then he liked his hair being played with. His golden eyes closed and he hummed, feeling the light tug of Felix running his fingers through the raven locks, soft as satin. His lips spread in a small smile, recalling his fiancee's love of doing the same thing at night. This younger version and the other might not be so different after all...

"Try not steal all the blankets," he teased gently in the dim, moonlight filling the bedroom with silver.

Felix bit his lip and shifted closer until he was snug against Ashura's side, snuggling his head against the curve of the king's shoulder.

"That better?"

This was the first time Felix had come so close, but he was not protesting to it. He made a sound and slid an arm around the younger man, chastely, of course.

"Yes, I do suppose this way you cannot steal them all," he chuckled quietly in the dark.

He let out a quiet sigh of contentment. It was such a gentle gesture, and one he wasn't really used to. It was equally strange to feel so breathlessly nervous about this sort of thing.

After a few moments of hesitation he shifted again, this time sliding an arm over Ashura's chest until he laying half on top of him. He nuzzled softly against the king's neck.

To be frank, he found that surprising. In the past days of knowing the young man, he would have described him as, at first, petrified and then wary, but certainly not cuddly.

He shifted beneath the boy to give him better room to cuddle, not pushing him away. Fingers rose and toyed with his red hair absently, wishing desperately for his full grown version, missing him so.

"Did you have a nice day?" He murmured quietly since sleep was not immediately forthcoming.

Ashura's estimation was correct. This wasn't normal for him. There was rarely any room for gentleness or anything preceding the inevitability of sex. Some clients had been slower about things or allowed time to relax after the act. Those were the times he occasionally questioned them, perhaps just hating the silence or hoping for more of the work outside that dingy brothel. It was...nice, though. But unfamiliar.

He nodded against Ashura's skin, shivering a little at the touch.

"Yeah. I walked around the garden and fed the horses at the stables. And I got to eat pie."

"You were at the stables? Did you see Svitana?" he asked, referring to his mammoth of a reptilian mount, who would mostly be confined to the stables for the winter for warmth's sake.

"Mmhmmm. He was really big but really gentle, actually," he said, twirling his hand in Ashura's hair again.

"He remembers you, even like this," he smiled, going so far as to press a gentle kiss to Felix's hair now, affectionate. His fingers rose to stroke the fine hair soothingly, glad he had trained Svitana to recognized Felix and let himself be handled by the man when necessary.

He twisted a bit to angle himself up and look at Ashura's face.

"Could you maybe take me riding someday?" he asked, suddenly hopefully and excited about the idea.

He blinked, surprised by the request, but he chuckled in the dimness and nodded.

"Surely. We could go tomorrow if you like," he promised him. "Though we will need to get up early. Are you sure you can handle that?" His voice took on a teasing note.

Felix grinned and nodded, and oddly it's this bit of easy banter that gives him the desire to lean down and capture the king's lips in a kiss. It lacks the confidence of his older self, but it's certainly heartfelt.

There was a moment of stiffness as the other kissed him, as if Ashura were frozen. Gently, he pulled his head away.

"Felix? What are you doing?"

"Kissing you. I want..."

He paused, shakily running a hand down Ashura's neck and chest, head curled demurely against his shoulder and placing another kiss there.

"...I want to be with you..."

He did nothing for quiet a time, and then finally, gently, he pushed Felix away. He did not turn on a lamp, but rather summoned a bit of floating fire above them to gently light their faces.

"Felix... no. You are to young. A man your age should not be participating in such things," he said, but not harshly.

He blinked owlishly, shying away from the flames in a startled fashion.

"But...why not? It ain't like there's anything I haven't done already. You said yourself we were already lovers, so what difference does it make?"

"Because you are so young, not yet to majority!" he insisted. "And we do not need to be lovers for me to love you." He stroked his cheek and back into the soft red hair. "You should enjoy your childhood, without the worry you must perform sexual acts to please me or anyone else."

Felix's eyes were full of tears.

"It ain't about that. I just...you've been so nice and...this is the first time I really want to. Don't that mean anything?"

"Yes, Felix, it does, but... Felix, you are so young. It wouldn't be right," he shook his head.

But, for all his protests, he did reach out and draw the other against him in a hug, stroking his hair soothingly.

"Believe me, I do care for you, Felix, but there is no need for that love to be expressed sexually."

He resisted for a moment, wounded a little by the rejection, but then he curls against the older man's body, face buried into his shoulder. His mind was a whirl of confusion. He couldn't really remember, with any kind of clarity, a time that anyone had expressed affection for him like this. Some of his client's could be gentle with him, but there was something missing in those touches that he was feeling now. It didn't exactly remove that desire from him. What did it matter if he was too young for a thing he'd already been doing for years?

There didn't seem to be anything he could do now but cry. He let the tears go, though he was quiet with it simply by habit.

Funny that he could be more ashamed of that than of giving his body to another.

Ashura held him without judgement. He caressed his hair and rubbed his back soothingly, letting the boy cry himself out. It was so hard, hearing him cry, but what else could he say? He could not give in and give the boy the sexual experience he desired. It was... wrong. It sickened him that Felix would be subject to such things at this age, though he tried his best to keep that from the other. He did not wish his lover to think he detested him, and surely this was not Felix's fault anyways.

"Shh, it's all right," he murmured after a bit. "It will all be all right."

After awhile he calmed, sniffling lightly and taking in quiet shuddering breaths.

"M'sorry..." he muttered quietly.

"What for?" he asked quietly, petting his hair and kissing the soft red tresses like a parent comforting their child. "You have done nothing wrong."

He wasn't really sure, given that Ashura had been rather forgiving of his missteps so far, but he sniffled again and answered. "Cryin' on you, I guess..."

He chuckled. "I have much worse done on me than a few tears."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

love ain't nothing

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

my temp account was removed and I'm too lazy to fix it, so have normal account

lol

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject