love ain't nothing

[pharaohlighting]

Who: Felix and Ashura
What: Things can be a little confusing when you're a teenage prostitute with a lover you don't remember.
When: Evening of November 12th
Where: Their room
Rating: pg-13 for brief sexual things and possible profanity

Ever since Ashura had woken up and awoken him to his history in the castle, he'd been trying to sort it out in his mind. He couldn't deny it, but he couldn't exactly place himself into the shoes of the man everybody here seemed to know. A man who seemed to be educated and intelligent. A wizard, of all things. And a man who had a long running relationship with a man who wasn't even human.

Ashura cared about him, he was sure of that. And over the last few weeks had done his best to do right by him. Like Star, he'd been helpful and understanding. Unlike 'Star, however, was that everpresent look of sadness in his eyes.

He couldn't help but feel he was letting the man down by not being that other Felix. He felt guilty, too, for not being able to summon up that same feeling of love.

But Ashura made him want to find it.

He'd been spending more and more time at their rooms, as he'd gotten comfortable in Ashura's presence. Tonight wasn't the first time he'd slept over, so the routine was established. He'd bathed and brushed his hair. Put on the nightshirt he'd taken to wearing, then wandered back out to the bedroom where Ashura was waiting.

"Hey," he said, smiling shyly as he sat on the bed.

Comments

[wishmadeinfire]

"Yes, Felix, it does, but... Felix, you are so young. It wouldn't be right," he shook his head.

But, for all his protests, he did reach out and draw the other against him in a hug, stroking his hair soothingly.

"Believe me, I do care for you, Felix, but there is no need for that love to be expressed sexually."

[lord_wizard]

He resisted for a moment, wounded a little by the rejection, but then he curls against the older man's body, face buried into his shoulder. His mind was a whirl of confusion. He couldn't really remember, with any kind of clarity, a time that anyone had expressed affection for him like this. Some of his client's could be gentle with him, but there was something missing in those touches that he was feeling now. It didn't exactly remove that desire from him. What did it matter if he was too young for a thing he'd already been doing for years?

There didn't seem to be anything he could do now but cry. He let the tears go, though he was quiet with it simply by habit.

Funny that he could be more ashamed of that than of giving his body to another.

[wishmadeinfire]

Ashura held him without judgement. He caressed his hair and rubbed his back soothingly, letting the boy cry himself out. It was so hard, hearing him cry, but what else could he say? He could not give in and give the boy the sexual experience he desired. It was... wrong. It sickened him that Felix would be subject to such things at this age, though he tried his best to keep that from the other. He did not wish his lover to think he detested him, and surely this was not Felix's fault anyways.

"Shh, it's all right," he murmured after a bit. "It will all be all right."

[lord_wizard]

After awhile he calmed, sniffling lightly and taking in quiet shuddering breaths.

"M'sorry..." he muttered quietly.

[wishmadeinfire]

"What for?" he asked quietly, petting his hair and kissing the soft red tresses like a parent comforting their child. "You have done nothing wrong."

[lord_wizard]

He wasn't really sure, given that Ashura had been rather forgiving of his missteps so far, but he sniffled again and answered. "Cryin' on you, I guess..."

[wishmadeinfire]

He chuckled. "I have much worse done on me than a few tears."