paradisalogs | But the ghosts that we knew {OPEN};

Entry tags:

But the ghosts that we knew {OPEN};

Who: Carolina and you!
What: Training at all hours of the day. Like sane people do. c:
When: 0400-1200 and 1400-2200 (the gym), 1200-1300 (the kitchen), 2200-2300 (the kitchen)
Where: The gym and the kitchen
Rating: PG-13 maybe for language and/or violence

[Most nights, Carolina couldn't sleep. The near-constant feeling of not being secure or safe enough to shut her eyes kept what adrenaline she had left pumping through her well enough to keep her awake. That said, she can't run on fumes all week long and when she does sleep, she dreams about home. About twin voices screaming her dead mother's name in her head, when plugging her ears only amplifies the sound. About a teammate taking two axes to the chest, from a soldier Carolina had never trusted, never wanted to trust. About another teammate grabbing her around the neck, yanking the AI chips from the back of her neck, tossing her from a cliff like a piece of garbage. About waiting in the snow. About never being good enough. About throwing a lighter.

It's one of those nights when her body forces her to sleep long enough to recharge enough of her battery to somewhat function, but the nightmares don't stay away. They never do. And she wakes up early, in a cold sweat, shaking, screaming. It's enough to keep her awake for another couple days, she hopes, that her body got enough to last her. Two days awake is always too short a time, but she can't get herself to stay awake longer and the four hours or so of sleep are always too long.

So, she's out of bed in an instant, tugging her armor on before all but sprinting down to the gym at 0400, needing a distraction and a purpose to her life.

Or what she could call a life in guilty conscience.]

(ooc: I will have open threads, just tag wherever! Just specify the time please so there can be multiple threads per location. c:

Current threads: South's is around noonish. Church's is before 1400. York's is at 1400. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Carolina doesn't care much about what York wants right now. Instead she preps the clay pigeons to shoot again.] And if you were listening, you would know that I don't need a spotter. Get out.

You know, what you say and standard safety procedures don't actually agree with each other. It's not like you have FILSS here to send for a medic if something misfires and you get caught without your journal.

[He shrugs, arms still crossed.]

But have it your way. All I'm trying to do is set a net for when you crash and burn.

[She's about to bark out that those don't apply here, but it seems that he's giving up. So she smirks for only a moment before she sets the pigeons to shoot again. But it's too much. That bit of satisfaction is enough to tip her emotional scale too far and she buckles down to the ground, gripping her head. The voices are back, shadows of what hey had been, but she's crippled for a good few seconds as she goes down.]

[See? See?

Well, before he even really knows what he's doing, York is kneeling down next to her and placing a hand on her shoulder.]

Carolina! Hey, are you okay?

[Carolina is barely aware of his touch on her shoulder and she still tries to swat him fervently away, but she can't think through the buzz of Allison, Allison Allison and the headache splitting through her. For a few seconds, it's an unbearable, tight pressure and then it's gone, leaving her breathless, her chest heaving. Her thoughts go silent and just the absence of the voices is so blissful that she laughs with relief.

She probably looks a little crazy.]

[As for York, he sighs in what's obviously relief as soon as she starts laughing, because it means she's not in too much pain. Maybe. He thinks.]

Carolina? You all right?

[Yep, ignoring her attempts to slap away his hand for the moment.]

[Carolina tries to swat his hand away again at the sound of his voice as she wipes the sweat from her forehead with her other hand. For a moment or two, she just wants to focus on breathing, on getting him away from her.]

[Once she starts breathing again, he'll back off a little. Not too much.]

So. See, this is why I was a little worried.

[Carolina still keeps her eyes shut, not wanting to risk the potential pain of exposing them to light right now. She'll try swatting him away again, even if he's not there.]

Do you want any water or anything? What happened?

[Yes, he's setting himself for an "I want you to go away", but he has to ask anyway.]

Get away from me. [She does finally speak, but her voice is quiet and trembling. Like when she'd first woken up after the match with Texas. Her fingers find her way to her forehead again, trying to wipe another layer of sweat away.

No, it's not likely she'll do more training after this.]

Carolina--

[Why does she always have to be like this?]

I want to help you.

No you don't. [Her voice barely raises in volume, enough to be heard without straining what might be the beginnings of a migraine building at the back of her head.]

I do, though. I know it feels like you're all alone, but you're not. The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be.

[It's taking a lot of self-control not to just help her up and get her to the clinic right now, but he knows she's not going to accept that help even if he offers it.]

[Carolina continues to cradle her head in her hands as a dull throbbing begins to replace what had been a blissful release from sharp, intense pain.]

Just go away. That's all I want right now. [There's no heat to her voice, no force behind it, like she's suddenly been drained of any and all energy.]

[York lets out a long sigh.]

Fine. But I'm not giving up on you.

[He turns to leave.]

[The problem is that right now, she's borderline helpless. If anyone were to attack her, she'd be boned. Shit. Should she trust anyone else in the Castle right now to not take advantage? What if South walked in?]

Wait. [She barely grunts it out through clenched teeth.]

[~~Make up your damn mind, woman.~~ York stops, though he doesn't turn around.]

Yeah?

Watch the door. [As she slowly starts to collect herself from the floor. Doesn't look like she'll be doing anymore training today. No matter how much she wants to.]

All right.

[Standing by the door but totally watching her as she tries to get up counts as watching the door, right? Delta's monitoring it, anyway.]

[Hearing him move away is going to have to be enough for her right now as she slowly gets up to her feet with a wobble. She slowly pulls her hands away from her face and opens her eyes and the lights are bright enough to induce a painful, throbbing headache in an instant. Breathing thickly through her nose, she starts making her way toward the door with slow steps, eyebrows furrowed lightly with the building intensity of the headache.]

[Yeah, she's not reassuring him in the slightest here. But York also knows the last thing she wants is help, even when she obviously needs it. So he'll just stand there quietly as she makes her way out.]

[Carolina doesn't glance at him as she approaches, her mind feeling scrambled and fuzzy with the headache. She doesn't look up at him as she passes him and pushes the door open to head for the elevator.] Clear the hallway.

All right.

[Again, making sure not to use words like "Yes, boss" or anything else that could be construed as following orders. He's not following orders until she acknowledges that she's part of a team.

Nevertheless, he makes sure the hall is clear for her.]

Should I ride with you?

[Carolina moves slowly along the hallway, gaze set on the elevator as she does. She doesn't want him there, she doesn't want the minimal bit of help that she's accepting, but she won't be able to get back to her room safely while her head hurts like this.]

Stand against the opposite wall. [She reaches out to jab the button for the elevator, barely resisting punching it a couple times.]

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/blatantly stealing from Halo 3

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