Dragon problems

[lord_wizard]

Who: Hogwarts staff members (Felix Harrowgate, Allen Walker, Reborn, A.J. Crowley, Castiel, Martel Yggdrassil, Howl Pendragon, Gary Sitterson, Duke Pantarai, Greg House, Gideon Thraxios)
What: A staff meeting and possibly dragon wrangling later
When: Midday of the 5th (and possibly later)
Where: Staffroom to start
Rating: PG-13?

While the students are gathered in the dining hall, or at least, are supposed to be, Felix and some of the Hogwarts staff assemble in the
Staff room to discuss their current dilemma in the shape of a wild dragon roaming the grounds. It's some kind of miracle that nobody has been killed or maimed yet, and if the term is to continue uninterrupted, it should probably be dealt with swiftly.

Standing up with his back against a desk, Professor Harrowgate signals the assembled staff.

"If this is everyone, we may as well start. The problem is simple enough to state. I can't even begin to wonder where a wild dragon came from, but it has to go. We need to come up with a plan to capture it and enact said plan as soon as possible. Ideally tonight, before the Quidditch finals are scheduled to take place. Any suggestions?"

Comments

[save_the_souls]

HE KNEW IT.

Have an appalled look of indignation as he speaks up. "I will not! That's a stupid plan!"

[atrophied]

House looks mildly stunned. "Because you're not a virgin?"

[lord_wizard]

Felix resisted the urge to either smirk or roll his eyes.

"As decent as a suggestion as that sounds, I think something a little less Dark Arts-flavored would be preferable."

[atrophied]

"What dark magic? Just throw him outside with a steak. Worked for the Muggles."

See? It's not dark magic. It's history.

[save_the_souls]

"That's-" He looks flustered and extremely agitated. "That is none of your business!"

And at Felix, he gives an annoyed scoff. "It's not a decent suggestion at all! It's bollocks! Someone please come up with a real suggestion!"

[atrophied]

"So you are a virgin."

Allen's sex life (or lack thereof): way more interesting than a dragon.

[lord_wizard]

He wasn't actually serious about that. Grow a sense of humor, Allen.

Continuing to ignore the byplay, he continues, "I meant more in the sense of baiting it, though not with a staff member. We've seen it diving in the lake, however, so I assume it eats fish..."

[onlyanapple]

"We could always cover Allen with fish. Then we're covering all bases."

Aren't you guys glad Crowley is here to be helpful and insightful?

[atrophied]

"I second Professor Crowley. Good plan."

[onlyanapple]

"See? There's no need to argue schematics when we can just try everything at once. It's just a dragon, after all. People deal with them all the time in those sanctuaries."

[lord_wizard]

"Because they're trained to. Nor do they have several hundred underage witches and wizards running about. The longer it goes untended the more likely it is that a pack of Gryffindors will get ideas," he said.

[save_the_souls]

"Uncle! Knock it off!"

God he is never accepting another job position in the same place as family again.

[onlyanapple]

It's his own fault for picking this school, he could have gone anywhere, the fool. Crowley arches a brow behind his shades.

"Just saying. Unless of course House is right and you have finally lost your precious unicorn charming powers of virginity. It's okay, you can tell me, we're family."

[save_the_souls]

"Virginity has nothing to do with unicorns, that's an old wives tale" he says in a rather testy tone. "And I'm certainly not discussing it with you."

[save_the_souls]

Allen has next to no sense of humor okay. He is too used to people who would actually see this as a legitimate plan. "If thinking that will make you stop speculating about my sex life, then yes- go ahead and believe that."

And now trying to focus on the topic at hand! "Norweigan Ridgebacks eat mammals, either land or water ones. It might be hunting the merpeople."

[atrophied]

yeah, no, this is fun. "Was it a student? Because I have to tell you that is highly unethical."

[lord_wizard]

"Thank you," he says, genuinely glad for some information with substance.

"If that's true, might we be able to enlist their aid in trapping it?"

[hometutor]

"And if it's not the merpeople it's the giant squid. Though we won't know unless any of you speak merpeople language."

That's all he can offer up on this right now, and he's just going to shake his head and judge you all.

[thraxios]

On plenty of occasions, it did not work for the Muggles, Gideon writes out, passing his tablet over to House. He's deeply tempted to roll his eyes.

[atrophied]

He looks down at the paper and shoots Gideon an apologetic look.

"Don't have my glasses on me. Can't read."

[thraxios]

Gideon does roll his eyes now, pulling out his wand to charm the words to grow three times their original size.

[atrophied]

Sq...uints. "Nope, sorry."

[thraxios]

Sigh. House gets another flick of the wrist; the words are now being read aloud by an invisible, curiously flat-sounding woman's voice.

[atrophied]

"Oh, I don't have my hearing aids in."

He mouths me no escucha while pointing at his ear.

[thraxios]

Gideon takes his tablet back, perhaps a bit more brusquely than strictly necessary. How good to know the school's staff is so mature and prepared to handle issues.