paradisalogs | (no subject)

Who: Legolas and anyone.
What: NEW ARRIVAL ALERT! Oh, and exploring!
When: Oct. 25th.
Where: Just pick a place and we'll make it work. Love to anyone that finds the hippy elf in the forest.
Rating: G!

One moment he had been with Gimli, Aragorn and Gandalf, hearing messages passed to Gandalf from the Lady Galadriel. He'd been armed and ready to go to Edoras, content with the knowledge that Merry and Pippin were safe. Safer. And now he was...

Well, Legolas wasn't entirely sure where he was. He'd seen, in passing, the buildings of Men though never had he entered them. He'd been content enough to remain out of doors or in the forest. It reminded him very much of what he'd seen though. And this only raised the question of how he came to be here. Standing and doing nothing wouldn't answer his questions though, this he knew. Only by exploring could he find what he wanted to know and hopefully that would include a way back. It wasn't long after he started to explore that he realized that he was now also unarmed. His quiver was still on his back but it was empty of arrows and he no longer carried his knife or the bow that the Lady of the Golden Wood had gifted him. Guilt tore at him over the loss of such a precious gift. He knew that he could craft himself another bow but it would never compare to those of the Galadhrim.

Garbed in grey, most will find him, a cloak about his shoulders and unassuming. He was cautious, of course, because who knew if this was some trick of Saruman or of the Enemy.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, well that's convenient.

Got any other exotic wisdom from the commune?

I need not explain it to you.

[Just gonna stay up in his tree.]

Yes. Don't try to follow an elf in a forest, in the future. It will save you trouble.

Elf. You're a fucking elf? Guess I shouldn't be surprised.

[Don't tick her off she might shoot a dart at him out of spite.]

You keep saying that. "Fucking."

What does that mean?

[Legolas.

Legolas no.]

[She looks up at him in silent disbelief, before scoffing a laugh, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest.]

It's, uh -- it's slang. It's got a lot of meanings, really. You sure you want to know?

[Because she will gladly explain to him.]

I think it only fair that I understand what words are being used when someone is talking with me.

[South laughs,] Okay then; it's most commonly used as a swear word. Like, the worst swear word. Nothing gets attention like a well-placed 'f-bomb'.

The actual meaning of the word is sex. Like, intercourse, you know? penis-goes-into-vagina and everyone goes home happy. [You probably didn't have to go into that much detail, South.] I mean, you're an elf, so I don't know if you even have a penis. Or a vagina, but that's how it works for my people.

[sdjfghlasajhf]

H-how...

[What are words?]

W-why would anyone apply a term that is used foully to something so special on bonding with another??

No, see, you're talking about 'lovemaking' and romantic shit. I'm talking about fucking. It's dirty, messy, you probably don't know the other person that well but that's okay because you're both just in it for the visceral feel of the thing.

[Guess which one she's had more experience with.]

Okay so technically it's the same thing but, like, it's a whole different way about going at it.

[OH VALAR HELP HIM]

There is no such thing among the elves. I cannot... imagine why anyone would want such a thing.

[Yeah, sorry Legolas, it's a human thing. Cas the angel is having a hard time with it too, apparently.]

[South shrugs.]

What? Sometimes you just want to feel good without the bullshit entanglement of a relationship. Don't tell me you guys never have one-night-stands?

[Cas and Legolas should have drinks.]

We most certainly do not!

[Just look at his face. The idea is repulsive.]

[Yeah his face isn't going to convince her this is a bad idea. In fact she's pretty sure she got that look from her parents on more than one occasion and that hadn't really changed things either.]

Pity. It's a pretty awesome thing.

It's repugnant.

[Other races are weird. Why would anyone lie with someone who isn't their spouse? How even?]

You're just saying that because you've never experienced it. I mean come on, you don't expect me to wait around for some magical unicorn of a non-existant guy to sweep me off my feet and make me feel special, do you? Fuck that shit.

And I do not intend to!

[He will never understand. And he wasn't sure that he would ever want to.]

Your loss. Good thing you can wish for limitless lotion and tissues here. [South shrugs. Obviously he was missing out on one of the greatest things in life.]

[HE DOESN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS!

And his expression is torn between confused and repulsed.]

[A moment of awkward, confused silence, and then she throws her arms in the air.]

-- or leaves and fairy tears, whatever you get off on. Geez it's like talking to a dog.