paradisalogs | Lets (not) talk about sex

Entry tags:

church,
tex

Lets (not) talk about sex

Who: Church and Tex
What: the long avoided conversation about awkward happenings during The Gentlemen plot
When: Tuesday night
Where: Church's room.
Rating: R for language at least.

Mason was off the leash and running, he'd been nosing through the halls with some sort of purpose until he found a door and ran inside, tail wagging like crazy.

"God dammed dog, I've shot people for less than this." The black armored form muttered and tromped after the canine. It wasn't until she crossed the threshold that she realized whose room she'd stepped into.

Fuck

Yeah, Church's room and of course the dog was running right up to him, eager to lick his face and give all the affection in the world like it was no big deal. She hadn't been back to his room since the silence and violence of the Gentlemen. She'd been human and for once she'd been really and truly scared for her life.

Church had helped her adjust, and protected her. Hell he'd even stayed up all night to make sure she slept and...as they say one thing lead to another, and it kept leading there an awful lot.

But that had been the fear and the situation right? Things were different, or rather back to normal now. It seemed stupid that she'd avoided him, no not avoided. She'd just been busy, anywhere he wasn't and doing anything not involving him. Totally not avoiding him. Right.

So she just stood there in the doorway, not quite stepping fully inside and not saying anything, just sort of holding the leash in her hand as if that was all that needed to be said.

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It wasn't exactly hard to find, the largest most ostentatious building aside from the castle and maybe the cathedral. He'd appreciate her restraint if he knew. Frankly it was kind of stressful thinking about the chance that something like that could happen.

The walk was at least pretty an autumn stroll through the forested part of the road. Lots of things for Mason to sniff at along the way. Yup, just a casual walk... one that not long ago they may have made hand in hand.

Ah yes, they've reached a companionable sort of silence as they walked, pausing now and again while Mason nosed into this or that. It was friendly more or less.

"So...we fucked." Yeah, that was Tex and subtlety; like oil and water except the oil is on fire.

Church stopped with the suddenness of having walked into an invisible wall. Ok so the subject wasn't going to be ignored forever. Leave it to Tex to just throw it out there.

"Uh yeah, yeah we did."

I mean what else can he say about it when it's just presented as a statement of fact? Was she ok with it, was she going to kick his ass and leave him in the woods? Granted she didn't seem upset, she didn't seem particularly thrilled about it either.

"I mean it was good and all." It had been fucking amazing, but she didn't need to say that. "But I don't expect anything, not reading into it or anything."

Yep, she'd been human and things had been emotional and they had spent a week having really fucking mind blowing sex to help her get through the fear. Sure, that was it..hell it was probably therapeutic or something.

"Oh, yeah no... of course not. Pfft. God, I mean why would you read anything into it?"

It had just been a week of holding hands, cuddling her to sleep and oh yeah, amazing fucking sex every time she happened to get bored. And she was bored a lot he might add.

"But uh, if you were going to read into it...?"

"Yeah, right?"

A week of having something that resembled a normal life, with death threats around every corner. But a week spent with a level of intimacy unknown to her outside of memory templates.

"Look, I get it. You were looking after me like you would for anybody. You said it yourself. I'm not going to think this means we're involved or something or that you want to be. You've made it clear since I got here how you feel about things."

"How I feel? What exactly do you think I've 'made clear'?"

If she knew, he'd love to hear it because he wasn't sure how he felt... except that as much as he tried to deny it, he loved her. Ok yeah, he said he'd look out for anyone on the team, but if she thought that meant he'd cuddle Tucker to sleep she's fuckin' crazy.

Really? Really gonna question that? She sighed and stopped, tugging Mason back from his excited dash toward a tree.

"You don't want my help, you practically begged that fucking T-rex to go after you rather than letting me deal with it. You weren't even going to tell me about the body thing and you've been acting like you don't want me here from day one."

What was she supposed to think? They had always been antagonistic but this had been set aside for survival since she arrived, hell they'd had their problems since day one this place jut gave him more options, better options than her.

"I didn't want you get hurt! You didn't have a spare body, I did and I didn't have time to explain it to you.

He pinched the bridge of his nose briefly before running his hands through his hair. Why did she always have to make everything so difficult!

"I didn't tell you about the body right off because I wanted to know I could get you one too. Because I didn't want to upset you... I admit it, I fucked that up!"

"Why the fuck do you think I was trying to get that fucking things attention? I don't love the idea of getting chomped on by a fucking dinosaur but I'm better equipped to deal with it than you. I didn't want you getting... See this is exactly what I mean."

She yanked the lead and started walking again.

"What did it matter if you could get me one too? You had yours, had a life before I got here."

"What does it matter? Do you think I'd be fine being like this knowing that you can't be too?"

After all the hassle he went through to get Sarge to build her that body, did she really think he wouldn't do again? Everything he's done has been for her and it just never matters.

"God damnit, I know I'm a selfish asshole... but do you really think I'm that much of a dick?"

"Why does it matter, Church?"

She wasn't just arguing, though she was doing that sure enough, she was looking for a reason.

"No. And you're not selfish, and asshole yes. But you've gone out of your way to help people here and try to make things better. Sunny, Mark, Nora every kid here.. South and all the damned Freelancers." The list could go on and on, but she'd made her point, maybe even clarified her question.

"So why does it matter?"

"It matters because you deserve better, Tex. Better than Freelancer, better than me."

He couldn't explain why he wanted to help the others, especially the Freelancers. He had every right to not want anything to do with them. But he could explain why he wanted to help her, why he would always help her.

"And because, because I still... I still love you." He shrugged and held his hands out as if to stop the argument he knew was coming.

"I swear I'm not going to read into what happened ok, I know I had my chance and I fucked it up."

She snorted at that, deserved better? Who the hell did he think he was kidding with that?

But he followed it up with something that made her stop short, Mason seemed to pick up the vibe and for once stopped with her.

"You...love me?" She was just staring at him, her shoulders softened and she froze. Her brain worked in milliseconds but it felt like an eternity before she reacted.

Tex covered the distance between them and wrapped arms around him, careful moderate the pressure to not damage him. "You stupid asshole."

"Ah.." Admittedly there were a few milliseconds that he thought he was about to get the shit kicked out of him but then she's hugging him. Hugging?
Ok, this is cool.

"Uh, does this mean I get another chance?"

"Like a relationship you mean?" Did he really want to try again?

With her?

"Either you are glutton for punishment, or an idiot." Possibly both.

"Something like that, yeah."

He gives her a smirk. "You know, those two things aren't mutually exclusive."

She eased back and began walking again, but this time closer to him and at a slower pace.

"Yeah, but they should be." Mason ran up between them, looking from one to the other with his tail wagging fast.

"You might want to hold off until we find out if the body thing will actually work. If I'm stuck like this, it wouldn't be fair. expecting you to go without things."

"Nothing I haven't gone without before." He gave Mason a quick pat.

"If something happens then we'll just have to figure something out. I'm not going to just 'hold off' because you end up having to stay in that body."

He'd 'held off' far too long already.

"Well yeah but like you always said, lack of options." True the Gulch wasn't exactly brimming with women and even if it had been the issue would have been there with his true nature.

"Here you have options." Real women, women who weren't her. She didn't want him to do it, but for one rare moment she wasn't thinking out of jealousy or pride. In the end all she'd wanted for him was his freedom and happiness, probably some sort of glitch in her system.

"Yeah, I have options." He knodded, it would be a lie to deny that if Tex hadn't arrived he would have been perfectly happy staying with whatever it was he and Natasha had... but Tex was here and as much as he felt toward Nat...

"Doesn't change my mind."

"Yeah, you're both." An idiot and a glutton for punishment.

"But I guess this makes you my idiot."

"Hey, I might be an idiot but I'm not stupid... the last time I was even around another woman, you shot my body right out from under me."

He gave her a teasing smirk. At the time he thought she was just being a bitch but she had been genuinely jealous. He was willing to admit he was an idiot for not realizing it until they were both here.
Well, he'd admit it to himself anyway.

"Well if I get that body then you won't have any reason to look at another woman. Or I'll just shoot you again."

Was she joking? Fuck this was Tex, who knew? "So I was just thinking of, well you know the same as the week I had a human body. For looks I mean. I was pretty damned hot."

"When you say 'look at'... do you mean 'casually look in the direction of' or 'oggle'? Because at some point I'm going to have to talk to other women."

He's not sure if she's joking or not, so better safe than sorry.

"And yeah... you are pretty fuckin' hot."

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