paradisalogs | So you grab a piece of something that you think is gonna last.

Entry tags:

agent carolina

So you grab a piece of something that you think is gonna last.

Who: Carolina and open!
What: Carolina doing maintenance on vehicles in the hangar. People dropping by. Awkward talks.
When: All day (Jan 20th)
Where: Noble Two's hangar, which Carolina has essentially taken charge of
Rating: Updated to R/NC-17 in the York and Carolina thread. Otherwise PG/PG-13 for most others.

After training and a few other things she needed to check in on, Carolina was back in the hangar, outside of her armor for the first time in a few days. While there were obvious uses for said armor, it made her current task of vehicle maintenance much more difficult. So, the Freelancer could be found in the various vehicles in the hangar, dressed in mildly civillian-esque uniform she'd worn out on the expedition, with the addition of a thicker jacket. After all, she couldn't run vehicles without proper ventilation and the only ventilation was opening the garage door a little.

She didn't plan on being bugged, but things were rarely as she planned them as of late.

(ooc: I'll slap up times below with Carolina's location/the vehicle she's working on below!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I suppose we do.

[He's stubbornly not moving, though. He can talk and stand at the same time. Carolina has to realize how much it hurts to be accused of not even being real, and he's not going to concede to her that easily.

Even if he wants to just take her in his arms and demand she acknowledge his presence.]

You know, this isn't easy for me.

[Carolina attempts to swallow down the rise of anger. Just talk, Carolina, it isn't insubordination when there isn't any Director or any Project. She forces herself to relax her shoulders and soften her tone.]

I know.

[Mostly because she's pushed herself to consider his side of the argument. Having someone come out and say you're not real wasn't necessarily the best 'welcome back to the Castle.']

It's why I'm out here. Because it isn't easy for me either. [The Hanger had, though, helped immensely. Being away from the wishing and the bizarre architecture, where windows didn't match up with the external view, or where people could be turned into toys or AI for days on end. The week in a more realistic, practical setting had done wonders for her psyche, but obviously couldn't undo everything.] I owe you an explanation.

[He nods, biting back his own anger. Yes, yes she does owe him an explanation. "This is a simulation and you're the key to getting out of it, oh and by the way you're not real" couldn't have come out of nowhere.]

I heard Wash wasn't the only one who had problems on Friday. That when this all started?

[Carolina takes a breath, trying to pick out the right words.] It's when it all came back, York.

[She knows this probably isn't what he wants to hear, but it's the truth and that's the most she can do right now.] Throughout my first month here, I had doubts, but they eventually went away. Or so I thought. I couldn't think the Castle wasn't real and deal with everything that was going on with Maine and Wash. [So, she'd forced it onto the backburner to deal with later and the doubts had faded into the background.]

Those doubts came back after waking up after Paris, missing four days and feeling like I hadn't slept for any of them. And then Friday... [She blows out a breath.]

[He's still sounding pretty irritated, but his tone softens a little bit.]

Having doubts in the beginning is normal. Hell, there are some days I wonder if this place isn't all some huge hologram. But the one thing I never doubt are the other people here. Do you think for a minute someone would be able to make up everyone here, or simulate them in this kind of detail even if they already knew them?

[He crosses his arms again. Maybe it's because he has an AI living in his head, but York's sharply aware of complex personalities and how difficult it is to fake them.] You're going to have to resolve it for yourself sooner or later, but forcing your own point of view on people who care about you isn't helping.

I did. I heard voices and sounds that didn't make any sense. [Carolina bristles a little herself, despite the fact that York's right. While the last few missions at Freelancer had been 'training' for Phase 2, the Director had used real people, not simulated ones. So, even if this was a test, York was real. Maine was real. The Doctors, Xena, they were all real. She just needed to give herself time that she didn't want to give; she wanted to understand it and be back on solid footing now.

The first step to re-building that solid footing though, would require an apology on her part and patience from him. She's well aware, though, that he could just walk away.] I'm sorry, York.

[It'd been a long, long time since she'd been on the receiving end of a conversation like this. Usually, it was her telling the other person they were wrong.]

[And at that his stance can finally relax. Despite everything this place could do to them - and it could do a lot, a hell of a lot - what ended up meaning the most was always the other people around. It could turn him into a girl or a panda or an action figure, but his friends would be there to look after him. It could turn him into a pirate and Delta would be there as a parrot, nudging his cheek affectionately. And what always hurt the most, as York is reminded strongly here among all the fruits of Kat's labors, is when it takes those people away.

That the one he cared most about would disregard that was terrifying to him.]

Just--well, if you feel like that again, just explain it a little better, okay? I didn't really have any warning cause I'd been out for a week.

[York lets out a breath and walks closer to the Falcon so he's looking up at her resting in the seat.]

Voices, sounds, flashes of things that might or might not be there, even terrible nightmares - this place can and will do that do anyone. What's important is defining for yourself what's real and then sticking to it. This might sound weird, but have you thought about meditation to control it?

[Carolina nods, her own posture relaxing a little at him finally moving closer to her. There was some kind of progress, at least, and something for her to work on. She shifts minutely in the gunner's chair, regarding him with a much calmer expression than she had when he first walked in, despite the news that this could get worse, that the Castle could become more surreal and that the slope would get even more slippery.

At his question, she shake her head.] Ignoring it obviously didn't work.

[Which was another reason to be out in the hangar. She could get her own grip back on herself before returning to the Castle to face it again, with better and stronger methods of dealing with the impossibilities the building inherently brought with it. Trying to just ignore what couldn't be possible had initially gotten rid of the doubts, only to have them cycle back with re-grouped efforts.

She pauses briefly, considering something that'd been on her mind for most of the week and something that had largely deterred her from speaking with him over the journals.] And if you want to back out, no hard feelings.

[In that, if he's worried she's a loaded gun, she's giving him a chance to back out of their still very new relationship. If this had been a mission, there would be no backing out, but this is entirely different, far more sensitive than a cut-and-dry success or failure.]

[He nods. Finding a way to deal with the oddities in the castle is essential for long-term residents, and he could only hope she'd be one of them. York in particular liked his TARDIS room for that, full of mementos and keepsakes from his friends who had left.

He takes a step back at her second suggestion, though.] What? I--

[Shit, what if she means she doesn't want to continue now? York had stayed with her through much worse back home...but of course she didn't know that. Maybe--maybe she didn't want their relationship as much as he did, in this place. Maybe something had changed.

Maybe he'd changed too much. Maybe that's what she'd meant by not thinking he was real. His voice drops and York looks away.]

I don't want to back out. But it's not up to me, is it?

[Carolina looks down at him with furrowed eyebrows for a moment at his look away. She slides down off the gunner's seat to stand next to him. ]

It was meant to be up to you, York. That's why I asked.

[She thought her display on Sunday had been enough to scare anyone off, including York, and that the Castle had successfully done its job of tearing their team open and bleeding it dry. Wash never seemed to be doing well, Maine depended on the day, and now she'd fallen to it, as much as she'd never wanted it to happen.]

[Well, in a sense it had done exactly that - but York wasn't the kind of guy to make irrevocable decisions based on a single strange day, not in this place. Just look at how many times he'd come to Wash's aid after all the assholishness he'd endured. York was, unfortunately enough for SaneMaine, very stubborn when it came to opinions about people.

His tone becomes a little more steady as he glances over to her.]

The problem is that you had to ask, Carolina. You should know better than that.

I won't give up on you.

[Carolina shifts her weight, staring at him hard. She can't understand what he went through with her loss of sanity back home, really. Leaning back against the side of the pelican, she nods somberly. She'll know now, but the fact she needed to be told at all is embarrassing to her.]

Got it.

[The darkness of the hangar becomes more so as one of the lights suddenly goes out.

Yeah, there were a few things she still needed to get to.]

[The light serves as a nice distraction and York snorts.] Guess I better get to that. Think that clog'll take much longer?

[In a sense, he's asking if she'll still be there after he changes the lightbulb - but also giving her an out if she'd rather spend the time alone. All she'd need to do is say she thinks it'll take some time and he'll leave quietly after fixing the bulb.]

Probably not. [Carolina answers with half a smile, grateful for the break in tension, no matter how mundane it was. Small things like that, working with her hands, it all helped to anchor her; normal things that could be contributed to electricity or carbon backup rather than the "magic" of the Castle.]

Want to get a drink when we're done, then? I personally made sure the pantry here had a liquor shelf.

[Not that it has very much, but a few smaller bottles of the good quality stuff could go a long way. A drink or two would help him relax, too, with the stress he's been under lately.

--Well, if Wash hasn't accidentally all the booze. But York doesn't think that's likely.]

[Carolina raises an eyebrow at him, a little more amused, but she nods. They could both use a stress break, really. The whole week had been a royal mess on more than one level.]

Celebrating fixing a lightbulb, York?

Hey, it's Friday. I don't need a lightbulb to celebrate.

[He tilts his head in a way she'd recognize as being an armored grin.] Meet you in the mess hall in a few, then?

[That tilt of his head just makes her grin wider. That was more like it. The whole being angry at each other thing didn't really work for her.]

Last one there takes the first shot. [It's less of a "hurry through work" and more of a playful gesture, wanting to relax just a little bit. Hey, working overly hard and being stupidly busy hadn't done anything for keeping her head square on her shoulders in the past week.

And one extra shot wouldn't do her in, honestly.]

You're on.

[Of course, it will take him a little while to get the lightbulb, ladder (since he hasn't really revealed Stark's flying enhancement to her yet, and doesn't really see the need to unless it's necessary) and change it. But eventually he does finish, heading over to the pantry first to see if she's done yet.]

[Carolina takes a little longer, as unclogging the coolant line requires much more than she expected originally. Some turning on the falcon and seeing if the clog moved, trying to flush it out, but she's hurrying into the pantry a minute or so after him.

Welp. ] You had a lightbulb. [As if that possibly explained his finishing first.]

You already had all your tools. Choose your poison.

[His helmet is off and he gestures to a small selection of high-end liquor bottles.] If you're all done with the heavy machinery, of course.

No more heavy machinery tonight. [At, gasp, 2000. This was taking a night off to her. With a slight smirk,] Whiskey.

[He pours them each a shot (she can take an extra one later), then holds up his glass as if to toast her.]

To the end of a long week.

[...Entirely too long.]

[Carolina nods firmly, clinking her shot glass against his. She wouldn't argue with that toast one bit. ]

To the end of a long week and to lightbulbs.

You know that's begging for a joke, right?

[Ah well. He drinks his shot quickly, though he has to gasp just a little at the end.]

Smooth.

[And there's that nice fire running through him, and psychological or not he already feels himself begin to relax.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

/tl;drs

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject